4th November 2007
JAYNE MEE
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Today's Jokes
Lumpy knows you've been bad and has a special little song just for you! Just clap your hands and listen to his little jingle as his mouth moves and he does a little dance!
Click the link below
http://www.prankplace.com/holiday_lumpy.htm?KBID=3067
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Kissing/Light Petting
What he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless before your seductive ways!"
Undressing
What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the SIZE of that!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"
Foreplay/Oral Sex
What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of your impressive manhood for hours."
What he's afraid you're thinking: "If he doesn't warn me before he cums, I'm going to kill him."
Penetration
What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in half!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"
Your Orgasm
What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!"
What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes, (other guy's name here), yes!"
Postcoital Bliss
What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels like."
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should let my lesbian friend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after all."
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- Heh, heh...Do you see what I see?
2. You thought Greek salad had lettuce in it
3. You don’t know how to use worrybeads
4. You went to the Acropolis by choice, not because your school forced you to go on a field trip
5. You never tell people “πυρες καποια κιλα” (you’ve gained some weight) upon greeting them
6. There are no religious icons in your home or car
7. You call it Diet Coke like the rest of the world, not Coke Light
8. No one asks you what village you’re from
9. You call them the green and red team, not Panathinaikos and Olympiakos
10. Your name has a ‘b,’ ‘c,’ ‘g,’ ‘j’ or ‘w’ in it
11. You and your family have no olive trees
12. You don’t know the difference between tzatziki and tzitziki
13. You eat dinner before 21:00
14. You don’t know any jokes about Turks
15. You don’t spend any part of New Year’s Eve with your parents
16. You use a dot as a decimal, not a comma
17. The donkey you’ve been photographed with doesn’t belong to you or anyone you know
18. You’ve never ordered a Greek Mac at McDonald’s (for those abroad, it’s a pita wrapped around a breaded questionable meat patty, lettuce and dressing)
19. You say ‘thank you’ on a regular basis and think it’s normal
20. Your name doesn’t end in ‘opoulos,’ ‘os,’ ‘as’ or ‘is.’
21. You know what ‘personal space’ is
22. You have actually tasted authentic cuisine from other countries, not just Greek food or ethnic food that’s been “Greeked” (i.e. Gyros pizza from Domino’s, pork teriyaki sushi hand roll, bruschetta with feta cheese)
23. You haven’t bribed anyone and don’t know anyone who has
24. You know that Nescafé is not real coffee
25. You don’t make the sign of a cross every time you pass a church
26. You’re a male under 30 and know how to do your own laundry
27. Not everything you cook has olive oil in it
28. You think public transportation is a perfectly good environmentally friendly way to get around, it’s not just for students, immigrants, soldiers and other “poor people”
29. You mind the queue
30. You don’t say things like “Americans are everywhere,” as if there were no other nationalities that are everywhere
31. You went to college, not university
32. You finished your degree in 4 years and probably financed it yourself
33. All of your friends are named something different, there aren’t 5 Nikos, 5 Giorgos, 10 Yannis, 5 Katerinas and 5 Marias in your life
34. You vacation somewhere other than Greece and think it’s better
35. You don’t bitch about expensive last-minute prices because you made vacation plans in advance
36. You say ‘I don’t know’ instead of making something up when you don’t know the answer to a question
37. You show up early or on time for appointments because you respect other people’s time
38. Not every surface in your house is covered by a white cloth with needlepoint
39. You drive the speed limit most of the time
40. You’re a woman and don’t think foreigners are trying to “steal your men”
41. Easter is not the most important holiday of the year
42. You don’t order your filet mignon ‘well done’ or at least don’t make faces or launch into a lecture about bacteria and blood if someone else likes ‘medium rare’
43. Your cousins are not all named after your grandmother or grandfather
44. An entourage doesn’t meet you at the airport
45. You don’t think all Albanians are thieves
46. You say “turn on/off the lights,” and your Greek friends don’t understand you
47. You moved out of your parents’ house before age 25 and not because they gave you property or because you got married
48. When you travel, you make friends with everyone not just people from your own country
49. You don’t make references to what your country did hundreds of years ago and then take credit for it
50. You complain about the public sector and don’t want a job in it
51. You know what a ’silent voice’ is
52. You think that eating off separate plates, and not a community one, is perfectly fine
53. You’ve never been hit in the head with a slipper or spoon
54. You don’t get upset if someone says Istanbul instead of Constantinople
55. You don’t buy out the whole supermarket when it’s about to close for a 24-hour holiday
56. You don’t still refer to prices in drachmas
57. You know the Interamerican in Athens is a short building
58. You remember the days of using a checkbook and paying bills by mail
59. People point it out for you all the time by calling you “xevos,” “Americanida,” “the guy from Munich” or anything else that’s not your name
(2)...
Thanks HH
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Seasonal depression got you down? Are the Holidays stressing you out? Is your Mother-in-Law on your back? Count down to Christmas the best way you know how…by getting trashed. Each of the Red and Green Shot Glasses are festively decorated with holiday imagery. The Twelve Shots of Christmas Shot Glass Wreath is a perfect way to get through the holiday season. Believe us…We know from experience.
Click link below
http://www.prankplace.com/holiday_12shots.htm?kbid=3067
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Today's link
1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE
BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3 . CHOOS E YOUR
DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5 CLICK ON "APRI"
ENJOY!
Don't forget to click on "APRI" !!!
COFFEE
MACHINE
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Today's jewels!
Get this set of genuine emerald sterling silver for only $49.99 (free shipping)
The set consists of ring (available in sizes 6 7 8) pendant and chain and earrings.
click email link below and send me an email
jayn...@yahoo.com?subject=set.DSR2633st.49.99
Great offers on every newsletter - don't miss out!
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Will be adding new children's clothes today .... need Christmas presents?
http://stores.ebay.co.uk/bee-bop-kids-clothes
I'm selling Zoe and Natalia's dresses that no longer fit them... see link below
http://stores.ebay.co.uk/Asimenia-Sterling-Silver
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Jayne's Useless Gif
Thanks HH
GREEK NEWS
Authorities have arrested three of the four men that allegedly robbed a bank in Thessalonki on Friday in what is believed to be one of the biggest holdups to take place in Greece, police said on Saturday.
Two men include a 57-year-old man caught in an area close to Florina, near the northern border with the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (FYROM), and a bank employee, aged 45.
The bank employee, who claims to have a severe heart problem, is under police guard at a hospital in Thessaloniki.
The third suspect, an off-duty police officer, was arrested on Friday as he attempted to escape after the bank heist in which 2.8 million euros in cash was taken from an Alpha Bank cash-distribution center.
The gang had tied up two security guards and fired shots into the air during the robbery.
Police have launched a manhunt for a fourth suspect, aged 28.
Authorities recovered 98,000 euros of the stolen money which they said was found with the 57-year-old suspect.
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Sex Toy Warehouse
http://www.sextoysex.com/sex/start/warning.html?a=gadz
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My husband was describing our upcoming holiday at a resort to our four children, aged three to nine. It was at a place where the beds would be made, he told them, the meals would be cooked, and all the cleaning would be done for us. Our oldest looked puzzled. "Then what's Mommy coming for?" he asked.
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Have a great day!
Gadzooks!
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