Fwd: Happy Monday - One has to love satire!

[Sathya Prakash]

Hi All, I tend to shy aware from spamming nonsense, but the following just made me chuckle this morning.  Primarily due of the fact that we work in this industry.  Please just hit delete if you have no urge to waste a couple of minutes of your time.

 

 

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

 

 

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that achieve 1,000 miles per gallon of fuel.'

 

In   response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

 

If   GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

 

1.       For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

2.       Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 

3.       Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.  You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.       Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 

5.       Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was  indestructible, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but  would run on only 9.7% of the  roads.

6.       The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning  light.

7.       The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.  

8.       Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 

9.       Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.  (Office 2007 or higher anyone?)

10.   You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off. 

 

P.S.  No one over the age of 65 could drive more than one mile before having to have a grandchild come and restart the car.