Rules for Fanboys [periodic posting]
Wanderer
Posting-Frequency: Posted the week before furry cons.
URL: http://www.tigerden.com/infopage/furry/fanboy.txt
Last-Modified: Thu, 08 Jan 2004 21:08:42 -0600
Preface: Artists, inkers, writers, actors and singers all have fanboys,
and most have to deal with them every day. Throw this mix into a
convention setting, and things can get wildly out of paw. Here, then,
are a few simple guidelines for Fanboys (and Fangirls) to remember.
Rule 1: Your favorite artist/inker/writer/actor/singer is a
professional. This means they do this stuff for money, every day.
Asking your Favorite to give you some of their work as a gift is like
asking a doctor for a free examination or an attorney for free legal
advice: Unethical at best, insulting at worst. If they're offering,
sure, go ahead. But if you really want some of their work, you'll find
a way to pay for it.
Rule 2: Your favorite artist/inker/writer/actor/singer has probably
been in the business of preference for many years. This means that a
lot of well-meaning people have offered them ideas on how to do what
they're doing, or what to do next. Before telling him or her your Great
Idea, ask first if they want to hear it... and if the answer is "No",
accept it. It isn't that your ideas are any worse than the next guy's.
It's just that a lot of people have walked down this road before you.
If you want your idea to receive serious consideration, find out how to
submit it properly. Then do so. (Just remember the "Hawkeye" effect:
The reason they could never show B.J. operating on Hawkeye (on M.A.S.H.)
is because they'd received so many fan scripts using that plot. They
would've been sued off the air, no matter which version they used.)
Rule 2A (with thanks to Ursula Husted): Telling someone how to run
their personal life is even worse than telling them how to run their
professional life. This means that, no matter how much you personally
find your Favorite attractive, making a pass at them is Not A Good Idea.
While some magnificent relationships have gotten started at a
convention, they're the extremely rare exceptions, and were based on
more than just proximity. If you really want to have a chance with
them, start with friendship and see where it goes from there. (And if
they're already taken, No Slamming The Significant Other! It does *not*
improve your chances, and makes you look like the sleaziest thing to hit
the shores since the first lizard entered his first lounge.)
Rule 3: Your favorite artist/inker/writer/actor/singer is a living
human being. This means that they eventually need to sleep, eat and use
the toilet. Please leave them alone at these times. Nobody is at their
best when they're tired, hungry and in need of a pee. (This also
applies to drinking, smoking, and other activities. If you wouldn't
want to be bothered while doing it, chances are neither will they.)
Rule 4: If your favorite artist/inker/writer/actor/singer is busy
talking to somebody else, please wait patiently for your turn. They're
not going to vanish into thin air, and neither are you. Just wait
quietly until you hear an extended pause, and say, "Excuse me". Chances
are, they'll be so stunned by this politeness that you'll get to talk.
In the meantime, just sit back and listen. If they're an artist, and
they're drawing, just sit back and watch from a comfortable distance;
that means comfortable for the artist, so at least three linear feet.
Rule 5: Your favorite artist/inker/writer/actor/singer will appreciate
you much more if you are polite, well-groomed and soft-spoken. This
makes you much easier to listen to and be around, and is a good idea
generally. If you really will miss the entire appearance by your
Favorite if you stop to shower after participating in the Fursuit
Parade/10K Run/Olympics, then go... but a polite apology for your
sweat-soaked condition is usually appropriate, and often appreciated.
Remember: The words, "I'm sorry" are two of the hardest to say, but two
of the most important.
Rule 6: If you really want to make your favorite
artist/inker/writer/actor/singer happy, do nice things for them. I'm
not advocating groupie-ism, of course, but bringing a cold drink to
their con table is always appreciated. If they know you well enough to
trust you (and you deserve their trust), offer to watch the table for
them while they eat/shower/visit the facilities/take a smoke break.
(This works much better if you're convention staff, naturally.) After
all, they're spending their entire convention experience (or most of it)
cooped up in the noisy, crowded Dealer's Room. How much fun is that?
Rule 7: Remember, your Favorite has taken time that could have been
spent making money at a Regular Job and spent it at the convention.
Always remember to thank them for coming, and tell them how glad you are
that they've come. Keep it honest: Don't say you love their work when
you've only seen one thing from them in your whole life. Just tell them
you liked it, what it was, and that you are glad to meet them.
Following these simple rules guarantees an improved experience for both
Fans and Favorites, as well as Convention Security. Have Fun!:)
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