Fairly Universal Nonsense for October 15, 2008

[J NA]

When there's a will, I want to be in it!
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A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is
going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and
you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits
them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay,
Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

"I don't like her."
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Ibn Saud ben Alekh, a respectable and dignified merchant,
was attending a camel auction in the main square when he
was overcome by the most terrible intestinal cramps.
Finally, unable to contain himself, he let out a giant
fart, which was so noisy and so pungent that the people
around him looked aghast and stepped back in a circle.

Overcome with shame, Ibn Saud went straight home, packed,
and turned his back on his birthplace. For many years he
led a nomadic life, wandering from town to town, but as old
age approached, so did the longing to return to his
hometown. By this time he was aged and stooped, his hair
and beard long and gray. He was confident that no one would
recognize him and link him to that mortifying moment.

So he returned to the town and headed straight for the main
square, where he immediately noticed that the mosque now
boasted a spectacular turquoise and gold-leaf facade.
Turning to the passerby, he commented on the magnificent
mural. "Peace to you, my son," greeted the old man, "can
you tell me when it was completed?"

"Let me think," replied the man. "Yes, that would be seven
years, five months, and twenty-two days after Ibn Saud ben
Alekh cut that big fart in the square."
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 A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"

"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."

"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."

"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment!
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