Fairly Universal Nonsense for September 14, 2007

[J NA]

"When I'm driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL
CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I'm
not afraid of small children." --Jonathan Katz
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Dustbunnies have been around for centuries and are an untouched resource of easy-care pets for our busy life styles. They have lived quietly along side us and have already been domesticated.

You probably have one or two which have "adopted" you and you wouldn't even know it. The Dustbunny seeks out spaces that receive little traffic, and preferably dark - although some do become curious of the outside world.

DUSTBUNNY DEFENSES
Dustbunnies have their own paratrooper squads that one must be on the look-out for. However, since the Dustbunnies do not have their own Airforce they depend on fan blades to transport them, so invasions usually take plan during warm summer days. There are also small legions of foot soldiers that parade across the floor when the ventilation units are turned on. When heavy objects are moved they will scurry for cover. This is the best time for capture.

DUSTBUNNY SOCIAL LIFE
Dust Bunnies are very prolific. There is no such thing as ONE Dust Bunny. Left to their own vices, dustbunnies will reproduce at alarming rates. Dustbunnies like to use stereo-systems as their own personal Singles Clubs. Dancing usually takes place on the older models with a LP turntable, as the laser show of the CD drives have been linked to Fur Cancer in studies conducted at DBU (Dust Bunny University). Believe it or not DISCO is still their favorite music. If you find any dancing on the head of you needle, please remove gently and place off to the side so they can catch their breath.

DUSTBUNNY CARE
Care for dustbunnies is very low maintenance. Feeding: Dust Bunnies will find their own food. They have a tendency to turn vegetarian - if you do not wish them to eat your houseplants you may wish to gently wipe them off the leaves with a gentle but firm "no". Dustbunnies need a quiet, dark place to make a hutch or home, under beds and dressers are the ideal spots. If you wish them to find their own space, don't be surprised if you catch them crawling the walls and hanging from the chandeliers. Dust Bunnies prefer small hidden places where no on looks.

DUSTBUNNY HEALTH CARE
Unlike many pets, Dustbunnies do not need inoculations or veterinary visits. If your Dustbunny begins to look peaked, build it a nest of laundry lint and in a few days your pet will be looking fine and frisky.

MAKING YOUR HOME DUSTBUNNY FRIENDLY
If you are missing an item, check the Dust Bunny hutch. Unlike Raccoons who will actively look for goodies, Dustbunnies will only take what they can get easily especially anything left on the floor near their home.

NATURAL ENEMIES OF THE DUSTBUNNY
Giant sucking machines (i.e. Hoovers, Kirbys, Dust Vacs, etc.) keep them as far away from your Dustbunny if you don't want to scare them.
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A man left for work one Friday morning but, being a pay-day, instead of going home,
he stayed out the entire weekend, partying with the boys and spending his entire
pay check.

When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry
wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him' -

"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went
with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where
he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye..!
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A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming
to announce the outcome of a political election.
"More on candidates at 10 P.M.," he said.

My ten-year-old granddaughter Ashley looked at
me in disbelief. "I didn't know they could call
politicians 'morons' on national television!"
she remarked.

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