Fwd: Fairly Universal Nonsense for September 07, 2008
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J NA
Sep 11, 2008, 6:49:33 PM9/11/08
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From: J NA <jess...@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 9:40 PM
Subject: Fairly Universal Nonsense for September 07, 2008
To: f-...@googlegroups.com, fairly-unive...@yahoogroups.com, fun-joke...@googlegroups.com, funj...@yahoogroups.com
From: J NA <jess...@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 9:40 PM
Subject: Fairly Universal Nonsense for September 07, 2008
To: f-...@googlegroups.com, fairly-unive...@yahoogroups.com, fun-joke...@googlegroups.com, funj...@yahoogroups.com
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what
happened to you?
---------------------------------------------
A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a
psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him,
"Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they
least expect it."
As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and
says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I now have the
plans!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving
their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a
depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper
were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples,
the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years
ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So
they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a
depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass
and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had
a nationwide optical fibre network.
Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this
announcement, they ordered their scientists to take samples at a depth
of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient
Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilization, as
they already had a mobile telephone network in place.
-------------------------------------------------------
On a business trip to India, I arrived at the airport in Delhi and took a taxi
to my hotel, where I was greeted by my hospitable Indian host.
The cab driver requested the equivalent of eight dollars U.S. for the fare.
It seemed reasonable, so I started to hand him the money. But my host
grabbed the bills and initiated a verbal assault upon the cabby, calling him
a worthless parasite and a disgrace to their country for trying to overcharge
visitors. My host threw half the amount at the driver and told him never to
return. As the taxi sped off, my host gave me the remaining bills and asked,
"How was your trip?"
"Fine ... until you chased the cab away with my luggage in the trunk."
--
You are reading Fairly Universal Nonsense: The biggest and best (humble too) joke newsletter on all the Internet (no lie Ive looked around) If you like it then forward it to a friend and tell them to sign up. If you are that friend sign up at: http://fairlyuniversalnonsense.googlepages.com/home
If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, praises, snide remarks, or anything else you can think of, then I would appreciate it if you would email them to me at jess...@gmail.com. Yes, there is a jessebg1 but you wont get a response. Sometimes it seems that I am sending these jokes to nobody so it would be nice to get some feedback as to how I am doing. Yes, I would even like your complaints and snide remarks.
Feel free to send this Newsletter to your friends, enemy's, or other groups. I don't care. Just keep the title, content, and this little rant on the bottom intact.
happened to you?
---------------------------------------------
A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a
psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him,
"Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they
least expect it."
As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and
says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I now have the
plans!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving
their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a
depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper
were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples,
the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years
ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So
they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a
depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass
and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had
a nationwide optical fibre network.
Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this
announcement, they ordered their scientists to take samples at a depth
of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient
Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilization, as
they already had a mobile telephone network in place.
-------------------------------------------------------
On a business trip to India, I arrived at the airport in Delhi and took a taxi
to my hotel, where I was greeted by my hospitable Indian host.
The cab driver requested the equivalent of eight dollars U.S. for the fare.
It seemed reasonable, so I started to hand him the money. But my host
grabbed the bills and initiated a verbal assault upon the cabby, calling him
a worthless parasite and a disgrace to their country for trying to overcharge
visitors. My host threw half the amount at the driver and told him never to
return. As the taxi sped off, my host gave me the remaining bills and asked,
"How was your trip?"
"Fine ... until you chased the cab away with my luggage in the trunk."
--
You are reading Fairly Universal Nonsense: The biggest and best (humble too) joke newsletter on all the Internet (no lie Ive looked around) If you like it then forward it to a friend and tell them to sign up. If you are that friend sign up at: http://fairlyuniversalnonsense.googlepages.com/home
If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, praises, snide remarks, or anything else you can think of, then I would appreciate it if you would email them to me at jess...@gmail.com. Yes, there is a jessebg1 but you wont get a response. Sometimes it seems that I am sending these jokes to nobody so it would be nice to get some feedback as to how I am doing. Yes, I would even like your complaints and snide remarks.
Feel free to send this Newsletter to your friends, enemy's, or other groups. I don't care. Just keep the title, content, and this little rant on the bottom intact.
--
You are reading Fairly Universal Nonsense: The biggest and best (humble too) joke newsletter on all the Internet (no lie Ive looked around) If you like it then forward it to a friend and tell them to sign up. If you are that friend sign up at: http://fairlyuniversalnonsense.googlepages.com/home
If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, praises, snide remarks, or anything else you can think of, then I would appreciate it if you would email them to me at jess...@gmail.com. Yes, there is a jessebg1 but you wont get a response. Sometimes it seems that I am sending these jokes to nobody so it would be nice to get some feedback as to how I am doing. Yes, I would even like your complaints and snide remarks.
Feel free to send this Newsletter to your friends, enemy's, or other groups. I don't care. Just keep the title, content, and this little rant on the bottom intact.
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