Fairly Universal Nonsense for September 14, 2008

[J NA]

Experience is what you get just after you need it
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I work for a small software company with approximately fifty
employees. My Boss was the company's third employee.  At a
meeting with a potential client, our team introduced our-
selves one by one. When it was my Boss' turn, he said, "I've
been with the company for it's entire 10 year history. I
started as a 'lowly programmer' and now I am a senior
manager."

When it was my turn, I rose and said, "I'm new with the
company. I'm still a lowly programmer."
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The Garda, a disagreeable sort, stops a local farmer on a minor infraction and proceeds to berate the poor man this way and that, dressing him down most unfairly. After the lecture, which the farmer takes well, the constable starts writing the poor man up. While he's writing, he keeps swattin' at flies circling his head.

"The circle flies botherin' ya, are they?" says the farmer.

"Why do ya call 'em circle flies, old man?"

"We call 'em that on the farm 'cause we find 'em flying around and around the horses' behinds." says the farmer.

"Are you callin' me a horse's behind?" snarls the Garda.

"Oh saints, no," protests the farmer. "T'wouldn't think of such a thing." And the Garda goes back to writing.

"...kinda hard to fool the flies, though."
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Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad about him passing away.

She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died."

The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he'd give her three more words at no charge.

Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: "Pete died. Boat for sale"

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