Fairly Universal Nonsense for September 12, 2007

[J NA]

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
--------------------------------------------

How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative?

Easy. Watch a man drowning fifty feet offshore.

The conservative will throw out 25 feet of rope and shout "swim for it!"

The liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope, drop his own end, and go off
  to do another good deed.
-------------------------------------------------------

Today I picked up my mother-in-law at the airport. She's
getting a little up there. She's at the age where she
doesn't remember things too well. So when I saw her I
said, "Thanks for coming. Have a nice flight!"
------------------------------------------------------

This guy couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver
for vacation, so he called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to
Denver is $300," said a cheery salesperson.

"And what about Salt Lake City?"

"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake--$99.00, but there is a
stopover."

"Where?"

"Denver."

--
You are reading Fairly Universal Nonsense:  The biggest and best (humble too) joke newsletter on all the Internet (no lie Ive looked around) If you like it then forward it to a friend and tell them to sign up. If you are that friend sign up at:   http://fairlyuniversalnonsense.googlepages.com/home

If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, praises, snide remarks, or anything else you can think of, then I would appreciate it if you would email them to me at jess...@gmail.com.  Yes, there is a jessebg1 but you wont get a response.  Sometimes it seems that I am sending these jokes to nobody so it would be nice to get some feedback as to how I am doing.  Yes, I would even like your complaints and snide remarks.

Feel free to send this Newsletter to your friends, enemy's, or other groups.  I don't care.  Just keep the title, content, and this little rant on the bottom intact.