Fairly Universal Nonsense for September 04, 2008

[J NA]

When in doubt empty the magazine.

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A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store
was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said,
"Hello!" Her face was beaming.

He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever
having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she
had made a mistake and apologized.

"Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you, I
thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked
out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell
is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't
keep track of who fathers her children!"

Then he got a little panicky. "I don't remember her," he thought
but, MAYBE..during one of the wild parties he had been to when
he was in college, perhaps he did father her child! He ran from
the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you
the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really
drunk and had wild crazy sex on the pool table in front of
everyone?"

"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your
son's teacher!"
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A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were
married twenty-five years before he died," she said,
dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those
years."

"Amazing," said the councelor. "How did you do it?"

"I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward."
--------------------------------------------------

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a
lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where
were you the night of August 24th?"

"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"

"Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand.
"I don't mind answering the question."

"I object!" the defense said again.

"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."

The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there
is no reason for the defense to object."

So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the
night of August 24th?"

The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"
--------------------------------------------------------

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer
guy, and asked him to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons
and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

"It was an 'ID ten T' error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An 'ID ten T'
error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again?"

Harold grinned ... "Haven't you ever heard of an 'ID ten T' error before?"

"No."

"Write it down, and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down. 'I D 1 0 T'

I used to like Harold.

--
You are reading Fairly Universal Nonsense: The biggest and best (humble too) joke newsletter on all the Internet (no lie Ive looked around) If you like it then forward it to a friend and tell them to sign up. If you are that friend sign up at: http://fairlyuniversalnonsense.googlepages.com/home

If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, praises, snide remarks, or anything else you can think of, then I would appreciate it if you would email them to me at jess...@gmail.com. Yes, there is a jessebg1 but you wont get a response. Sometimes it seems that I am sending these jokes to nobody so it would be nice to get some feedback as to how I am doing. Yes, I would even like your complaints and snide remarks.

Feel free to send this Newsletter to your friends, enemy's, or other groups. I don't care. Just keep the title, content, and this little rant on the bottom intact.

--
You are reading Fairly Universal Nonsense: The biggest and best (humble too) joke newsletter on all the Internet (no lie Ive looked around) If you like it then forward it to a friend and tell them to sign up. If you are that friend sign up at: http://fairlyuniversalnonsense.googlepages.com/home

If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, praises, snide remarks, or anything else you can think of, then I would appreciate it if you would email them to me at jess...@gmail.com. Yes, there is a jessebg1 but you wont get a response. Sometimes it seems that I am sending these jokes to nobody so it would be nice to get some feedback as to how I am doing. Yes, I would even like your complaints and snide remarks.

Feel free to send this Newsletter to your friends, enemy's, or other groups. I don't care. Just keep the title, content, and this little rant on the bottom intact.