Practice, letting go, surrender

[Don Salmon]

(i apologize for the small font - it was "12" in MS Word but somehow shrunk when I pasted it here - I'll look at gmail again and see if I can figure out how to change it)

Hi folks:

There’s been quite a bit on philosophy on this list recently. I thought I’d mention something relevant to practice.

First a personal note – I think most of you are aware that Jan and I have been students of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother for most of our adult lives.  However, not having a living teacher, we have occasionally studied with others – from the Sufi, Tibetan Buddhist and other traditions.  The last 7 years we studied with a yoga-vedanta teacher, Roy Eugene Davis. We have especially enjoyed the fact that he had started a center here in Asheville in 2010.  Well, the center has not been financially viable and closed last week.

 

Thought still very much connected to Roy, we continue to feel that it’s beneficial to have regular contact with a teacher.  With that in mind, I happened upon “Windhorse Zen”, where there is a husband and wife team who studied with Philip Kapleau for several decades.  We both like them very much and have been surprised to find how much we like the discipline of the zendo (it doesn’t hurt that they have spectacular mountain views – almost a 270 degree view! – at the center, about 30 minutes northwest of Asheville.

 

Last night I had “dokusan” – private interview with the teacher – for the first time. Of course, what actually transpires in the interview is supposed to remain private.  But I thought it would be interesting to share an issue I’ve noticed in recent months – something I imagine, from letters I’ve read, everybody here has experienced. I thought of writing as I just came across a passage from FMW that expresses beautifully what I was talking about.  But first I’ll try to put it in my own words.

 

Last month, at a 4 day retreat at Roy’s (in Georgia), I was sitting in the meditation hall and thoughts were unusually quiescent.  In this quiet space, I became aware of an extremely subtle “effort/resistance” which I had long been aware of, but never in such a subtle manner. One aspect of it was the feeling – entirely non-verbal – that now that it is still and quiet – no thoughts – there is still something that “I” must do in order to “go deeper.”   Letting go of that, I then became aware of a subtle resistance, born of fear – the fear of dissolution.  Allowing that simply to be, the words came to mind, “Trust the aspiration of the heart.”  The roshi (teacher) said essentially the same thing last night.

 

This morning, when I came across this passage, it resonated quite deeply with my exploration of this resistance to letting go of all “personal” effort.

 

 ***** (from FMW)

"Again and again I found the statement that, if a man would attain the transcendent  realization, he must renounce all, and not merely part, of what he personally is. I did not find this an easy step to consummate. For years I resisted it, offering part of myself, yet holding back a certain reserve. During all this time, I realized only imperfect and unsatisfactory results, and often regretted the experiment. But it was not long before I found that I had gone too far to turn back. I had realized enough to render forever barren the old pastures, and yet not enough to know either peace or satisfaction. For some years, I rested in this position of indecision, without achieving much visible progress. Yet meanwhile, as time rolled on, progressive exhaustion of the world-desire developed, while concomitantly there grew a greater willingness to abandon all that had been reserved and so complete the experiment.”

-       Franklin Merrell-Wolff. from “A Mystical Unfoldment” in Experience and Philosophy. 1994. p. 253

[Chuck Post]

Thanks for that, Don.   

That quote from Franklin is important.  I had almost forgotten it.   Do you plan to submit it to the FMW Fellowship site?  You may be aware of the  current call for favorite Franklin quotes on the site.   

[if you have already submitted one, do you mind if I steal this one for my own submission?....]

Chuck

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[Don Salmon]

I didn't know about the call, but it's fine for you to steal it (though I expect a commission of some kind - material or non-material is fine).

** (apologies for the length below:>)) - don't worry, the Krishna Prem quotation is worth it.

Following up on that theme, I was talking to Jan this morning, on the way back from the vet (with our dear cat crying in the back seat, anxious to get back home), about how in one way, at the very peak of practice, jnana and bhakti are so similar.  The Jnani keeps rejecting all as not self, and the bhakta keeps rejecting all as "not-mine, only Yours).   In both cases, surrender of self is the penultimate stage of sadhana.

I've always been attracted to both jnana and bhakti paths, and found few who integrated them well. Sri Krishna Prem (who was described by no less than Ramana Maharshi as exhibiting "a rare combination of bhakti and jnana") has always been helpful to me as a guide to bringing the two together.

 I remember a letter he wrote to his dear friend, Dilip Kumar Roy (a disciple of Sri Aurobindo and also one of the great Indian classical musicians of hte early 20th century).  Prem talked about an intellectual, Vedantic friend of his - brilliant, and wise in yogic terms - simply couldn't understand what Prem was telling him about devotion to Krishna.  

As Prem put it, (I'm quoting from memory), "he wanted to unite with the Divine also, but in his safe, 'cap-and-gown' intellectual way. No matter what questions he asked, I could only say, 'it's because that's what Krishna does, that's who Krishna is.' "

And make no mistake - Krishna Prem was widely recognized in India as having an extremely rare grasp of the most subtle intellectual fine points of various Indian philosophies (and western philosophy and literature as well - in his final years - his late 60s - when he was extremely ill with cancer, he was studying Persian so he could read Rumi in the original). Yet this brilliant man had the most simple, pure devotion. 

Once, he was riding on a train (Prem was British, with particularly "pinkish" white skin which did not do well under the hot sun).  A rather stuffy, proper British woman, obviously horrified that he was wearing a dhoti, said to him, "How could you possibly leave behind all that is fine, and cultured and civilized. What could you possibly have gotten to leave all that behind?"

Prem, who was also holding a small statue of Krishna, clasped it closer to his chest and replied simply, with a broad, loving smile, "I have my Krishna, Madam."

Here is a passage from Prem's commentary on the Bhagavad Gita, chapter 6, the closing verses.

He is describing the disciple who has had enough insight and experience of the Atman that he is able to sit in meditation with the mind silent, fixed on the Self (or Atman or whatever you want to call it:>)))

He writes,

"If only the effort is steady his ultimate triumph is secure, and at last, like a tree long bound by winter frosts, bursting suddenly into glorious bloom, the arduous struggles of many lives will bear fruit and he will burst into the Light and attain the Brahma-sansparsha, the contact with the Eternal, no longer sensed as a vague background, no longer even glimpsed fitfully through the inner door, but felt in actual contact, contact that will drench the soul in bliss.

"Gone is the sense of a separate finite self, with its individual gains and losses, its personal hopes and fears, and in its place comes the experience of the One Atman abiding in all beings, of all beings as eddies in that all-pervading ocean of bliss.

"This stage may be reckoned as the third great landmark on the Path. The first was the Entry on the Path; the second, the consciousness of the Divine Birth in the heart; and now, with the overwhelming perception of the unity of all life in the one Self, the third, termed in some traditions the Mystic Marriage, may be said to have been accomplished.  It is the fifth (in some traditions sixth) or Dhyana Paramita of the Buddhists, after which the shining path of Prajna lies open before the disciple's feet. Thrice great is he who has traveled thus far. The bridge which separated self from Self has been crossed, and now no obstacle remains to prevent the Divine Light from irradiating the personality with its wondrous rays.

"Wherever he may be, and whatever he may be doing, the yogi is now established in the ever-living Divine Unity.  The touch of the Eternal krishna has awakened the flame of love in his heart, love the great liberator, the breaker-down of all barriers. Borne out of himself on its rushing wave, he sees no more himself or others, but everywhere and in all things the blue form of Krishna flashes forth>  Beneath the frowning brows of his foe no less than within the smiling glances of his friend he perceives the gleaming eyes of his Divine Lover, and he pours himself forth in utter worship of the Unchanging one seated within the hearts of all.

"Worship is a word which conjures up before us ideas of hymns and formal offerings, of churches and temples and of rewards in heaven; but the worship which the disciple now offers is something quite different. It is the worship which gives itself because it can do no less, the worship of self-forgetful service compelled by the sovereign power of love.

"What need has he of temples when every form enshrines his Lord, and how shall he withhold his service when he sees the Divine beauty distorted by the gloomy ugliness of the world, the Divine bliss masked by the myriad sorrows of men?

"Great is the tapasvi, the ascetic who disciplines himself; great the Jnani standing firm int eh calm knowledge of Reality; great, too, is the man of action, for he is the instrument, albeit unconscious, of the unresting cosmic tides.  But greater than all is the yogi, for he combines in himself all three.  United with the Divine Lover in his heart, he sees Him as the one Self in all and, offering his disciplined personality on the altar of self-sacrifice, he serves unrestingly the Wisdom-Love that ever plans the welfare of the worlds. "Sa me yuktatamo matah - He in my opinion is the greatest yogi of all."

[doro...@cox.net]

Hi Don,
I am sorry to hear the center you mentioned isn't viable. We struggle a bit at Franklin's
Great Space Center here outside of Lone Pine. Lots of friends and family pitch in to do the hard work (e.g., chainsawing),
but taxes are the issue...

Thank you for your quote of Franklin's. I am always a little concerned about quotes taken out of context,
but this has always been an important one.

That fear that stands behind resistance is an interesting phenomenon. I do recall reading (and I did experience)
that this is not unusual when one goes deeper, even though one does so with a certain gentleness.
Thank you for putting it into your own words!

Doroethy

- Franklin Merrell-Wolff <http://www.integralscience.org/gsc/#bio>.
from “A Mystical Unfoldment” in *Experience and Philosophy*. 1994. p. 253

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Doroethy

[Don Salmon]

Hi Doroethy,

Thanks for your sympathy.  It was quite a surprise.  One never knows how a contemplative center will work out in these days.  And I do hope that the Great Space Center is receiving the support it so richly deserves.

As for Jan and me, what also came as a surprise is that we were ready to move on.  Once we got used to the change, we realized we wanted something more disciplined, more structured. I chanced upon the "Windhorse" Zen center about 30 minutes north of here. We met both of the teachers (husband and wife) and fell in love with the place (the 270 degree view of the mountains didn't hurt either:>)

meanwhile, for both of us, our devotion and commitment to the vision of Mother and Sri Aurobindo deepens each day.  And my appreciation for Franklin's love of Sri Aurobindo's vision is very great as well.

I continue to enjoy Ron's book. I'm learning a great deal about FMW's philosophy I never understood before.  The section on phenomenology was in itself reward enough for getting the book. I felt the same thing about the limitations of the phenomenological approach when I first came across it in 1990 but I've never seen it articulated so clearly as Ron does in just a few pages.

Thanks again for writing, and much gratitude for your continued dedication to Franklin's teaching.

Don

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[William St. George]

Here is a fine quote from Plotinus: (Enmead VI., 9,4.).

Plato says of Unity that it is unspeakable and indescribable. Nevertheless we
speak of it, we write about it, but only to excite our souls by our discussions,
and to direct them towards this divine spectacle, just as one might point out
the road to somebody who desired to see some object. Instruction, indeed,
goes as far as showing the road, and guiding us in the way; but to obtain the
vision of the Divinity is the work suitable to him who desires to obtain it.

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[William St. George]

For years I have wondered about how much of my waking consciousness is linked to the brain and nervous system and how much is not.  For example if someone who was an accomplished meditator went into a coma would he experience something like sleep  and dreams or would he remain conscious with that part that is not brain dependent.  We know from recent accounts that some people stay conscious when the brain is virtually shut down as during brain surgery in lowered temperatures. 

So recently it has occurred to me that there is a part of me for many years that seems to sit on the world boundry.  On one side is the world image we are all very familiar with and on the other side is the silent nothingness the streches endlessly..  Or at least that is the sense it gives.  So the world or univese as such seems to float in this vast void.  And I have this ever present awareness of Its presence . . . and there is a kind of elusive comfort in knowing that it is there always.  There is nothing dramatic in this which is almost hidden.  Quite possibly many people could have this awareness but would not think it much to notice. 

I don't intend to go into a coma to verify my hypothesis.  But there may be another way to do this.  It would involve a brain scan while one was doing what in yoga is called pratyahara or withdrawal of energy from the senses.  During that process the world image vanishes.  And people who get stuck here experience emptiness.  Perhaps someone who has spent a lifetime doing Yoga could volunteer for this and stay a long while in the stage mentioned.  Would the brain go silent at some point? 

Is this either interesting or valuable?  Am I watching too much science fiction on Netflix?  Maybe.  Still it might be nice to know that brain damage would not necessarily put an end to one's real life but only to the appearance in the world image.  The same with all the ailments the mind might be subject to in old age.  If the hypothesis is true, then one could still be sane within a body that has lost its moorings. 

[Don Salmon]

Hi Jack - my first thought was to re-cognize what you call the "brain" in light of what Franklin has said about ponderability and substantiality.  Or the Buddhists might say, "deconstruct" the brain, see its lack of inherent existence, and your question will melt away. 

But I just came across this interesting passage from William Samuel's "2 + 2 = Reality" and thought it might be interesting to ponder along with your question.

Have fun!

The tangible 'universe' is the total of the objects of perception, and they are all perceived within this Awareness. One of these objects is this body called 'me' and 'mine'. Just who is this 'me'? This body is no more than any other object of perception within Infinite Awareness, yet the claim is that this particular body called 'me' contains Awareness within it. Is this not what mankind believes? “I am aware,” he says. “I have a mind of my own that is aware. This is my awareness and I want it to show me abundant dollars, happiness, or something else.”

This 'me' who contains awareness is an impossible impostor and a liar from the beginning. It is no more possible to imprison the Divine Awareness of Infinite Being and confine it within an object of its perception than it is possible to confine the alphabet to the letter A or jam the infinity of arithmetic into one number. All there is to 'mankind', to the old man who needs to be put off, is the belief that this Awareness here and now reading these words is confined within a body—that is beholden to a body—that it is the servant of a body—that it is the function of the body's brain or a personal mind.

To accept such a state of affairs as fact is the cause of mankind's troubles. It is like attempting to look at Infinity through a knot-hole, like looking at the infinity of arithmetic through a single number called 'me'. To accept such a state of affairs as fact would seemingly reverse Reality; it makes a multiplicity of singleness and brings space and time into being with beginning, end, birth, death and duality ad infinitum.

Suppose the infinity of arithmetic could be confined within one number, say the number 7. Suddenly number 7 says, “I am aware. I am alive. I have a mind of my own. I am 'here', located in a 'place' that follows number 6 and precedes number 8. Rank, sequence, beginning and end are established. I look about me, outside and around me, and see an infinite universe. To all appearances, since I consider myself only a number, I am just one of countless numbers. Some are greater than I and some are less than I. Limited in space, I am finite and measurable. All I see is likewise measurable, limited and finite with a beginning and end. But I see magnificent order in my universe

2+2=Reality By William Samuel Page 10

and that is what I call God. God certainly seems 'out there' and far from me way down here. Since I am just this one number, limited in time and space, I am separate and apart from all I see. I am here and 'things' are there, a measurable distance away, and I am always stuck to 'here' and 'now'. I 'need' this or that to help me sustain my place in existence or to go here and there. I am incomplete. I am 'more' or 'less' than that. This is 'good'. That is 'bad'. I'm really quite miserable and wish God would do something about it.”

Well now, isn't this ridiculous? The principle of arithmetic cannot be stuffed into a number. The number is 'in' the principle. The number has no mind of its own and only the principle is being anything at all. There is no beginning or end to any of the numerals because a beginingless and endless principle is continually being ALL it is, including an infinity of perfect numbers.

Just as the confined or limited view of arithmetic is a distortion, exactly so the confined and limited view of Reality is a distortion. Just as it is impossible to put the principle of arithmetic into a single number (or into all of them together), it is not actually possible to confine this alone Awareness to a single finite body. The view of the universe via a possessed, imprisoned Awareness is called the 'human experience' and it is fraught with endless perplexities. To end the perplexities, one stops believing himself a separate ego who is aware. One identifies as AWARENESS ITSELF. This one will discover himself unconfined, uncontaminated, unfettered and free. This one will discover that the only Awareness going on is God's Awareness of being all God is.