[aka.alias] A Census Comedy of Errors
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aka.alias
Jun 19, 2011, 12:51:25 PM6/19/11
to andy.blo...@gmail.com
Like the good, dutiful Canadian citizen that I am, I filled out my census form and returned it the day after I received it. That was a while ago, but silly me, I didn't make an exact note on precisely when that was. I didn't think I would need to.
It was before any of the work disruptions due to the labour problems with Canada Post.
Yesterday, I returned from a seven day sojourn in British Columbia to find a sturdy, card-stock notice wedged into my door, informing me that my census form had not yet been received and that it was my "legal requirement ... to fulfill this legal obligation." Whoever left the notice took a moment to underline in ink the words "legal requirement", that being the written equivalent of a stern vocal admonition, or perhaps even a vague threat.
This morning, I dialed the number given on the card and patiently made my way through all the various choices and "please wait" options until I was finally connected to someone live. At that point, I told her I had indeed filled in and returned my form, but that it could now be languishing at the bottom of some postie's bag. She told me that there is a "lengthy process involved in getting each one into the system" and so, not to worry, says she. I said to her, "What you're telling me then is that the government is busily hacking down trees to make these unnecessary forms to stick on people's doors." She had no direct response to that, but did say that if the ever-mysterious "they" had not received my form in a couple of days (definite time line there, eh?) that someone would come by again, and if I happened to be out they would leave a reminder on my door, since it is a legal requirement that everyone fill out the forms. It was just like I had never told her I had already fulfilled the aforementioned legal obligation.
I had barely sat myself down with a cup of coffee, after that most dissatisfactory phone conversation, when there came a knock at the door. Upon answering said knock, I found myself looking at a fresh-cheeked young woman, perhaps a student, eagerly conducting the protocol of bothering people on a Sunday morning to remind them of their legal obligations to the government. After she told me that "they" had not yet received my census form, she offered to fill it out with me on the spot. I recited for her the whole litany detailed here, the whole comedy of errors that is the Harper government conducting a census. I included the part about the government killing trees needlessly, assuring her of course, that I realized it was none of her personal doing, but that I still found it distressful to know it was being done. She told me that if my form had not been received in a couple of weeks, "they" would send another reminder. Will that reminder be a person at my door, or another piece of dead tree left on my door? It would be of great interest to me to know exactly how many of those forms are being left on doors across the country; exactly how many trees are required to make those forms, and exactly how many of them are uselessly carrying coal to Newcastle, as was the one on my door.
At no point in my telephone call or my at-the-door encounter did I raise my voice. At no point did I resort to any four-letter words. I was, however, firm in telling both of my conversation partners that the government really needs to rethink and rework their badly flawed conducting of this census. It needs to be an efficient operation, rather than the sad little comedy of errors that it currently is.
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Posted By aka.alias to aka.alias at 6/19/2011 12:18:00 PM
It was before any of the work disruptions due to the labour problems with Canada Post.
Yesterday, I returned from a seven day sojourn in British Columbia to find a sturdy, card-stock notice wedged into my door, informing me that my census form had not yet been received and that it was my "legal requirement ... to fulfill this legal obligation." Whoever left the notice took a moment to underline in ink the words "legal requirement", that being the written equivalent of a stern vocal admonition, or perhaps even a vague threat.
This morning, I dialed the number given on the card and patiently made my way through all the various choices and "please wait" options until I was finally connected to someone live. At that point, I told her I had indeed filled in and returned my form, but that it could now be languishing at the bottom of some postie's bag. She told me that there is a "lengthy process involved in getting each one into the system" and so, not to worry, says she. I said to her, "What you're telling me then is that the government is busily hacking down trees to make these unnecessary forms to stick on people's doors." She had no direct response to that, but did say that if the ever-mysterious "they" had not received my form in a couple of days (definite time line there, eh?) that someone would come by again, and if I happened to be out they would leave a reminder on my door, since it is a legal requirement that everyone fill out the forms. It was just like I had never told her I had already fulfilled the aforementioned legal obligation.
I had barely sat myself down with a cup of coffee, after that most dissatisfactory phone conversation, when there came a knock at the door. Upon answering said knock, I found myself looking at a fresh-cheeked young woman, perhaps a student, eagerly conducting the protocol of bothering people on a Sunday morning to remind them of their legal obligations to the government. After she told me that "they" had not yet received my census form, she offered to fill it out with me on the spot. I recited for her the whole litany detailed here, the whole comedy of errors that is the Harper government conducting a census. I included the part about the government killing trees needlessly, assuring her of course, that I realized it was none of her personal doing, but that I still found it distressful to know it was being done. She told me that if my form had not been received in a couple of weeks, "they" would send another reminder. Will that reminder be a person at my door, or another piece of dead tree left on my door? It would be of great interest to me to know exactly how many of those forms are being left on doors across the country; exactly how many trees are required to make those forms, and exactly how many of them are uselessly carrying coal to Newcastle, as was the one on my door.
At no point in my telephone call or my at-the-door encounter did I raise my voice. At no point did I resort to any four-letter words. I was, however, firm in telling both of my conversation partners that the government really needs to rethink and rework their badly flawed conducting of this census. It needs to be an efficient operation, rather than the sad little comedy of errors that it currently is.
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Posted By aka.alias to aka.alias at 6/19/2011 12:18:00 PM
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