[aka.alias] Bacon-izing America's Waistlines
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aka.alias
Jul 8, 2011, 10:28:50 AM7/8/11
to andy.blo...@gmail.com
The home of the brave and the free is getting more and more obese every day. Latest figures show that Colorado is the last state left where obesity rates have not yet topped 20% of the state's population. Before Colorado gets too puffed up with pride, however, it should be noted that their rate is 19.8%.
Ever ready to help out with the problem, the fast food chains continue to pump out the products that will pad the waistlines of their customers. One of the most unbelievable offerings is the recently announced bacon sundae available at Denny's. “Bacon is magical,” chirps the enthusiastic writer for Denny’s website. “Bacon transforms classic foods into colossally awesome ones.”
I know the sundae is now old news, but the rising obesity rates stateside is today's news, and the two really go together. For the fast food chains, the bottom line is strictly their profit. They don't give a damn about any of their customers, other than as someone who might come into the store with money to spend, and Denny's bacon magic is a perfect example of that attitude.
Anyone who chooses one of those artery slammers needs help. It would be wonderful if Denny's and the other chains that offer obesity-to-go could come up with something else that was magical, as well - something like a new technology that would show the diner a video of their arteries, and an interior close-up of any abdominal fat they are likely lugging around, while they munch away on their purchase. The vid should include numbers, too, like the 810 calories, 2 grams of saturated fat, and 460 milligrams of sodium packed into one of those bacon sundaes.
A magical finishing touch for the vid could be to have it include the fact that you have to burn 3500 more calories than you take in to lose just one pound, and then have it go on to show some numbers from the Mayo Clinic website. There they would see that if they want to ingest that sundae without having it load the lard onto their waistline, they are going to need an hour of jogging at a steady 5 miles/hour pace to use up the 810 calories and maintain their bodily status quo. Make that seat magically impossible to get out of until all the above has been viewed, and then presto! away would go another happy and satisfied consumer of garbage masquerading as food.
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Posted By aka.alias to aka.alias at 7/08/2011 09:43:00 AM
Ever ready to help out with the problem, the fast food chains continue to pump out the products that will pad the waistlines of their customers. One of the most unbelievable offerings is the recently announced bacon sundae available at Denny's. “Bacon is magical,” chirps the enthusiastic writer for Denny’s website. “Bacon transforms classic foods into colossally awesome ones.”
I know the sundae is now old news, but the rising obesity rates stateside is today's news, and the two really go together. For the fast food chains, the bottom line is strictly their profit. They don't give a damn about any of their customers, other than as someone who might come into the store with money to spend, and Denny's bacon magic is a perfect example of that attitude.
Anyone who chooses one of those artery slammers needs help. It would be wonderful if Denny's and the other chains that offer obesity-to-go could come up with something else that was magical, as well - something like a new technology that would show the diner a video of their arteries, and an interior close-up of any abdominal fat they are likely lugging around, while they munch away on their purchase. The vid should include numbers, too, like the 810 calories, 2 grams of saturated fat, and 460 milligrams of sodium packed into one of those bacon sundaes.
A magical finishing touch for the vid could be to have it include the fact that you have to burn 3500 more calories than you take in to lose just one pound, and then have it go on to show some numbers from the Mayo Clinic website. There they would see that if they want to ingest that sundae without having it load the lard onto their waistline, they are going to need an hour of jogging at a steady 5 miles/hour pace to use up the 810 calories and maintain their bodily status quo. Make that seat magically impossible to get out of until all the above has been viewed, and then presto! away would go another happy and satisfied consumer of garbage masquerading as food.
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Posted By aka.alias to aka.alias at 7/08/2011 09:43:00 AM
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