Talking to the hard of hearing
MikeMldvn
Tips for the *normal-hearing* when talking to the hard-of-hearing
The *Healthy People 2000: National Health Promotion and Disease
Prevention Objectives* report states that *hearing impairment* becomes
increasingly common after age 50. The national average was *88.9* per
1,000 people for 1986-88. The year 2000 target is *82* per 1,000 people.
Hearing impairment affects 23% of people aged 65 thru 74; 33% of those in
ages 75 thru 84, and 48% of those who are 85 and older. These figures are
considered underestimates.
*Healthy People 2000* also states: "...patient and family
communication training, and environmental structuring can help to enhance
the... quality of life for the hearing-impaired...." Greater awareness of
adverse effects on a person with hearing impairment, and using such easy
tips as in the following list, will facilitate communication for both the
hard-of-hearing and the *normal-hearing* person.
The original list, posted previously online, was based on suggestions
provided by an expert and teacher on talking to the hard-of-hearing. The
list has been expanded to include suggestions and comments from experts in
audiology, geriatrics and gerontology, and from the hearing-impaired.
Please consider showing, circulating, or giving a copy of this list to
persons who are hard-of-hearing (or to their friends/family), to health
care providers and their staffs, parents and teachers, managers and staff
at older adults' residential communities and convalescent and long-term
care facilities, children and adult day care centers, recreational
activities staff, etc., and to others who may have oral communication with
persons who are hearing-impaired. Also to posting on bulletin boards in
factories, offices and other places of business, and where older people
reside or the hard-of-hearing (any age) gather:
1. Whenever possible, face the hard-of-hearing person directly, and
on the same level.
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2. Your speech will be more easily understood when you are not
eating, chewing, smoking, etc.
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3. Reduce background noises when carrying on conversations -- turn
off the radio or TV.
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4. Keep your hands away from your face while talking.
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5. If it's difficult for a person to understand, find another way of
saying the same thing, rather than repeating the original words; move to a
quieter location.
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6. Recognize that hard of hearing people hear and understand less
well when they are tired or ill.
*
7. Never talk from another room. Be sure to get the attention of
the person to whom you will speak before you start talking.
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8. Speak in a normal fashion without shouting. See that the light
is not shining in the eyes of the hard-of-hearing person.
***
Comments from the electronic online community: members and/or subscribers
of AOL's SeniorNet and AARP, mailing lists GERINET and Beyond Hearing, and
several UseNet newsgroups:
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9. I teach nursing assistant training at a long term care facility.
Needless to say, we have a number of residents whose hearing is impaired.
Add these to your hints, especially if you are a caregiver:
a. A woman's voice is often harder to hear than a man's, because of
the pitch. Make a conscious effort to lower the pitch of your voice if
you are a female.
b. Speak slowly and clearly.
c. If the person wears a hearing aid, make sure it has batteries,
that the batteries work, the hearing aid is turned "on" and that the
hearing aid is clean and free from ear wax.
d. If you know (or if it becomes evident) from which side the person
hears best, talk to that side.
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10. (There were several opinions/practices on the preceding 9. d.
tip ("which side"); also, see #24):
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a. It is better to speak directly face-to-face. Face-to-face
communication in situations where relatively diffuse lighting is adequate
and lights the speaker's face allows the hearing-impaired listener to
attend to the speaker's facial expressions, as well as lip movements.
*
b. Individuals with hearing impairment can also benefit from seating
themselves at a table where they can best see all parties (e.g. the end of
a rectangular table). Asking people to let you know beforehand when they
are going to change the subject of conversation can also be helpful, as it
can often prevent an unfortunate "faux pas."
*
c. Sometimes a person who is HOH has a "good" or "better" side --
right or left -- ask them if they do. If they indicate a preference,
direct your remarks to the "good" side or face-to-face, as they wish.
*
d. See that the light is not shining in the eyes of the
hard-of-hearing person... change position so that you are not standing in
front of a light source such as a window, which puts your face in
silhouette and makes it hard to speech read.
*
e. Avoid abrupt changes of subject or interjecting small talk into
your conversation, as your hard-of-hearing listener will be using context
heavily to understand what you are saying.
*
f. If the hoh person wears an aid, trying raising the pitch of your
voice just slightly. If hoh is not *aided*, try LOWERING the pitch of
your voice.
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g. If all else fails, rephrase or try a relative, whose voice will
be familiar to the HOH person.
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h. Don't talk too fast... slow down.
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i. Pronounce words clearly. If the hearing-impaired person has
difficulty with letters and numbers say: M as in Mary, 2 as in twins, B as
in Boy, and each number separately: five six instead of fifty-six; because
m, n and 2, 3, 56, 66 and b,c,d,e,t and v sound alike.
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j. Keep a note pad handy and write your words and show them if you
have to -- just don't walk away leaving the hearing-impaired puzzling over
what you said and thinking you don't care.
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k. Be patient.
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11. I have very good hearing but work with a person who not only
mumbles but walks away as he is talking to you. I think he is so
preoccupied with what he is thinking about that he thinks everyone will
follow him as he goes to whatever he intends doing next.
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12.. I know exactly what you mean! I've had that problem all my
life. <sigh> I never considered myself "handicapped" or "disabled" but
other people sure made it hard for me to "fit in." I, too, avoided
joining clubs and going to meeting because of the difficulty. That is the
problem with deafness, it is so isolating. As Helen Keller once said,
"Being blind takes away things, but being deaf takes away people."
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13. I do agree that other people often just don't think about the
HOH. I have a so-called friend who, when I once told her that her extra
low voice is hard on me, rolled her eyes to heaven and sighed. I almost
told her to go to hell. That's not friendship, in my opinion.
I once asked a speaker to raise his voice a little. He looked at me with
disdain and said for me just to move up to the first row. His voice
almost got lower after that. Let there be peace on earth, and let it
begin with me. It's not easy being a good HOHer
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14. I have one relatively dead ear (left) and one relatively good
ear -- have a fairly adequate hearing aid in right ear, nothing in left
ear (because no use) -- I have discovered that I lip read a lot -- which
means that if you talk to a HOH person, face them. If you are around the
corner, or you turn away, you become much harder to understand. Also, do
not hesitate to let people know hearing is a problem. I have a friend who
is too proud to say, "please repeat" or "I missed your last remark" etc.
There are a few controlling, slightly sadistic folks who won't speak up
regardless of whether you ask them to. Not much you can do about them.
But they are far and few between. On the telephone I often have to ask
people to talk a bit more slowly and usually get prompt and satisfactory
results.
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15. In all fairness, I don't believe people are sadistic; they just
do not relate to hearing problems. They often feel "put upon" if they are
expected to accommodate our handicap. I have an EAR DOCTOR who turns and
walks away from me as he is giving me instructions. I've asked him
repeatedly to face me as he speaks, but he forgets. In small meetings, I
may ask a speaker to "speak up" and they do - for a few seconds - and then
fall back into their normal tones. Some, I hear perfectly well and
others, not at all. Hearing aids are not for everyone, I have learned to
my dismay. For me, they make speech louder, but not clearer.
*
16. I can hear some people perfectly well, and not others. What is
unbelievable is that my ear doctor will turn and walk away while talking
to me! I've told him repeatedly that I cannot understand him unless he
faces me when he speaks. People take note of that when you first mention
it, and moments later, they forget. It has come to a point that I avoid
meetings, even of small groups. If I ask the speaker to "speak up," they
do so, but only for a moment. Unfortunately, hearing aids have not
resolved my problem.
*
17. Had an interesting work experience. Many years ago [pre-computer
age], I taught at The New York School of Printing in NYC, a boys' [not PC
these days] vocational high school. Many deaf [also not PC "hearing
impaired"] boys were channeled there, because printing presses in those
days made a huge noise. I taught 11th grade English, and I was told that
all I had to do was be sure to face those students. They did just as well
as the rest of the class.
A dear friend of mine is blind - she holds a regular, full-time job, is
married, cooks, plays "beep" ball [noisy version of baseball], goes to
Marlin games, rides a tandem bike with her husband, "watches" movies, and
has the most marvelous guide dog in the world. She prefers the word
"blind." She says, "I'm not visually-impaired - I'm blind!"
As those of you who have met me in the chatroom know, I am also
"impaired" - I am keyboard/challenged. Only 4 of my fingers can type, so
I must look down at the KB. Here, though, I rarely make a mistake; I can
review what I've written. ;-)
*
18. Appreciated your list of suggestions when talking to the hard of
hearing. My mother, in her 80's is extremely hard of hearing. We've all
gotten used to it, but occasionally it creates peculiar situations when
she answers a question different from the one you asked because she only
gets 3 or 4 words in the sentence and guesses at whatever else was said.
For a while, my father thought she was in early stages of Alzheimer's
because she gave these screwy responses. Believe me, we were all happy to
find out that her non sequiters were the result of hearing loss. So maybe
you should remind people that the hearing impaired may appear senile
because they are only getting part of what is said and responding as best
they can without realizing the response may be inappropriate.
I love it when my kids come back from visiting my parents. They plant
themselves directly in front of me and speak distinctly and slowly and
they never call to me from another room. Unfortunately the effect wears
off after half a day.
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19. As someone who was born with only 50% hearing and down to 20/30,
I know the suggestions you've posted will be most helpful to everyone with
a hearing loss.
The "keep hands away from mouth" part really helps if the person is a
lip-reader also. I found dangling cigarettes, gumchewing, and mumbling the
hardest to "read."
I hope with education, people will begin to be less rude to the
hearing-impaired. I had a supervisor once who would turn her back on me
because she didn't like me "looking at her" when she talked. She also wore
braces and it was extremely difficult to understand her.
Unfortunately, some people still equate "deaf" with "dumb." Hearing-
impaired may have difficulty communicating but that doesn't mean there's
anything wrong with their ability to think. Don't leave them thinking you
lack manners and education.
*
20. My niece lost her hearing at the age of 10. They never
determined why it happened. The toughest thing for me was to tell her that
I didn't understand what she was saying... so I stopped. Then one day my
brother asked if I was upset with her. Of course I said "no". Then he told
me that it hurt her when I didn't ask her to repeat herself until I
understood. We began to talk and when we had difficulty with each other,
would reach for pencil and pad. It became a game! We would spend more time
working to understand because to write it down meant we hadn't yet
succeeded to complete the bridge. Today, we still have to ask each other
to repeat, but never have to reach for a pencil. She is the mother of two
older teenagers, is employed at the University of -- Library and is an
avid cyclist.... far from being "Dumb".
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21. The one time I purchased a hearing aid, I thought it was
necessary to put up with discomfort in order to get used to it. Returned
from a trip with a badly infected ear caused by a "spur" on the plastic.
Your friends may hypersensitive to the material that the hearing aids are
made of. Ear doctor was concerned that I had not consulted him before
purchase. He said a hearing aid will make things sound louder, but not
clearer because of my type of hearing loss.
*
22. I have three lady friends that refuse to wear their hearing
aids. Their ears get red and swollen when they wear them and I'm tired of
having to talk so loud. Does anybody know what the aids could be coated
with to stop this irritation to their ears. I use clear nail polish on my
glasses and watch to keep them so I can wear them, but the hearing airs
are made of different material and I don't want to make their ears worse.
*
23. From a. I remember always wanting to sit to the right side of
the class, from where I was sitting facing the teacher. I never really
thought about why I always preferred that site. I didn't do so great in
class when I was placed on the left side of the classroom or put near the
back. I got too distracted when I sat in back - I obviously needed to pay
attention to hear what was being said. Visual distractions threw me then,
as they REALLY do now!
From b. Similar thing with me, except I prefer the left side. I
think I suggested to --- the sitting to one side thing quite a while
back. It does help. For example, I always sit at a "left corner" at dinner
if I can.
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24. Technically, it is asymmetrical loss, a thing I learned on a
listserve this spring. This means loss in both ears, but one different
from the other. The audiologist has always called it unilateral loss,
thus minimizing the impact of the loss in his "good" ear, the left ear.
We always sit to his left when we hold him, read to him or do anything
with him. When had access to his ALD (assistive listening device) at
home, it didn't matter which side we sat on. However, he just can't
understand what we say if we're on his right. I'm so used to being
careful about sitting on his left that when I sit next to anyone I'm
already checking which side of them I'm sitting on.
When I call to him I always tell him the room that I'm in, not just
say, "I'm here!" In school, we wanted a C-shaped arrangement with (him)
sitting so that he could lip-read the kids. They instead grouped the
tables into four and placed them throughout the room. The teacher is
supposed to use a conference mic but I'm starting to suspect she doesn't.
(He) does say he can hear the children.... but hearing and truly
understanding are often different. Might be part of the LaLaLand
syndrome.
He hears but doesn't always understand. He does automatically turn
his good ear to people now and says "What..." Very typical of the image
you have of a deaf old codger... except he's a little guy. It's good
though because finally he's advocating for himself and starting to let the
world know he doesn't understand. With all of his "whats" it's a lot
harder for the world to miss his hearing issues.
*
25. Inquiry: "Do you know of any mailing lists or USENET groups
for the hard of hearing? I lost all the hearing in one ear last year --
feels like I don't quite fit in with the deaf organizations, but it would
be nice to get some practical advice and support from others who've been
there."
(This was one of several about online resources for the HOH and deaf. I
checked around (online only) and got good feedback re web and other online
resources. I have no experience with these sites, listservs, etc., so
cannot vouch for their usefulness. Nevertheless, if not useful in
themselves, they may have links or suggest leads to other locations. M.)
-- THE AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE DICTIONARY ON CD-ROM by Martin L. A.
Sternberg. It is from HarperCollins Interactive and was available from
EggHead Stores for about $50 or so about a year ago.
-- Higher Learning Systems has a CD-ROM that teaches American Sign
Language (ASL), at <http://www.webcom.com/hls/>.
-- Try these websites for software, books, videos on ASL:
<http://www.weizmann.ac.il/deaf-info/sign_study.html>
<http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/jbarr/signlang.htm>
-- Canadian Hearing Loss website
<http://www.tiger.ab.ca/hearing/>
-- Hands Across Communications
<http://www.paccenter.com/hac/>
-- DeafWeb National Organization List
<http://www.wolfenet.com/~hydronut/natlorgs.htm>
-- League for the Hard-of-Hearing
<http://www.lhh.org/>
-- DEAF-L listserve (Info re: deaf culture, medical advancements
re: deafness)
-- Subscribe to: list...@siucvmb.bitnet
Message: subscribe Deaf-L firstname lastname
*
-- Self Help for Hard of Hearing People, Inc.
7910 Woodmont Ave - Suite 1200
Bethesda, Maryland 20814
301-657-2248 Voice
301-657-2249 TTY
301-913-9413 Fax
e-mail: 7116...@compuserve.com
Web site: http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/shhh/
Self Help for Hard of Hearing People, Inc., (SHHH) is a non-profit
worldwide educational organization dedicated to the well-being of people
of all ages and communication styles who do not hear well. SHHH is the
largest international consumer organization of its kind. They have
chapters in 49 states and in other countries and several hundred thousand
members.
Mike Moldeven (mike...@aol.com)