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Jimbo

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Sep 29, 2003, 7:51:59 AM9/29/03
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Just checking!
Jim


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jacqui

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Sep 29, 2003, 4:20:11 PM9/29/03
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Well, there's you and me now!

Jacqui

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f781ce8$1...@127.0.0.1...

Geoff Bateman

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Sep 30, 2003, 7:09:16 PM9/30/03
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Greeting from the land of Oz. Just passing by and I thought I'd add my
name to the list also.

Geoff Bateman
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:3f79d4d1$0$64...@hades.is.co.za...

Jimbo

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Oct 2, 2003, 9:37:42 AM10/2/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:3f79d4d1$0$64...@hades.is.co.za...
> Well, there's you and me now!
>
> Jacqui
>
> "Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
> news:3f781ce8$1...@127.0.0.1...
> > Just checking!
> > Jim
How cozy!!!

jacqui

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Oct 2, 2003, 2:03:09 PM10/2/03
to
I love it that cozy! As long as others don't try to butt in! :>))


"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message

news:3f7c2a3a$1...@127.0.0.1...

Jimbo

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Oct 3, 2003, 4:42:02 AM10/3/03
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"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:cBidnfTJF64...@is.co.za...

> I love it that cozy! As long as others don't try to butt in! :>))
>
Two's company. Three means someone can hold the camera.

jacqui

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Oct 5, 2003, 3:07:17 PM10/5/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f7d3678$1...@127.0.0.1...

> "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> news:cBidnfTJF64...@is.co.za...
> > I love it that cozy! As long as others don't try to butt in! :>))
> >
> Two's company. Three means someone can hold the camera.

Providing the camera person is a professional, does not interfere and
has a very good market that will bring the highest prices!! :>)))


Jimbo

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Oct 6, 2003, 4:34:09 AM10/6/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:gJqcnUYsbf7...@is.co.za...
That rules me out. I can't hold the camera still. But I'm happy to be
interfered with.

Jimbo

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Oct 6, 2003, 4:34:09 AM10/6/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:gJqcnUYsbf7...@is.co.za...
That rules me out. I can't hold the camera still. But I'm happy to be
interfered with.

jacqui

unread,
Oct 6, 2003, 2:12:43 PM10/6/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message news:3f813...@127.0.0.1...

> "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> news:gJqcnUYsbf7...@is.co.za...
> >
> > "Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
> > news:3f7d3678$1...@127.0.0.1...
> > > "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> > > news:cBidnfTJF64...@is.co.za...
> > > > I love it that cozy! As long as others don't try to butt in!
:>))
> > > >
> > > Two's company. Three means someone can hold the camera.
> >
> > Providing the camera person is a professional, does not interfere
and
> > has a very good market that will bring the highest prices!! :>)))
> >
> That rules me out. I can't hold the camera still. But I'm happy to be
> interfered with.

Oh, I see. You thought you were going to hold the camera. I thought you
were going to get someone else to do the filming, while you did the
interfering! :>)


Jimbo

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Oct 7, 2003, 5:05:29 AM10/7/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:L8GcnZQ2AJ5...@is.co.za...
OK - you've talked me into it. Now... which is my good side?

jacqui

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Oct 7, 2003, 2:37:03 PM10/7/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f82823a$1...@127.0.0.1...

Hold on. Let me get some of those clothes off first. Can't see much with
them hiding all the good things! Ah yes, I see............well, the
front ain't half bad!

Hmmmmmmmmm


Jimbo

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Oct 8, 2003, 4:21:18 AM10/8/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:mjmdnf3fu7W...@is.co.za...
Ha imagination is a wonderful thing.
Now why don't you slip out of your clothes nice and slowly while I admire
you.
Mmm! You've done this before...

jacqui

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Oct 11, 2003, 1:32:39 PM10/11/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f83c90d$1...@127.0.0.1...

Well, you do seem to be experienced in thsi, but don't you think there
are too many people waiting with abated breath to see what will happen
next??


RFinn39

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Oct 11, 2003, 6:26:06 PM10/11/03
to
no I don't think so
native american;( ASSiniBIONE) looking for all

Jimbo

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Oct 13, 2003, 4:39:58 AM10/13/03
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"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:tISdnRtxUrx...@is.co.za...
Just me!

jacqui

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Oct 13, 2003, 1:59:43 PM10/13/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f8a64e2$1...@127.0.0.1...

Ha! AND the other 10 million people reading this NG!! :>)) Stripping in
public is not really my forte!!!!!


jacqui

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Oct 14, 2003, 1:44:58 PM10/14/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f8a64e2$1...@127.0.0.1...

But wht about all those others waiting with abated breath to see what
happens??


Jimbo

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Oct 15, 2003, 6:08:38 AM10/15/03
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"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:ISSdnYkzSJp...@is.co.za...
There are only 3 people who read this newsgroup.

jacqui

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Oct 16, 2003, 1:36:19 PM10/16/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f8d1cba$1...@127.0.0.1...

Ah..well...that's different then, isn't it? Where do we start?


Jimbo

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Oct 17, 2003, 8:42:27 AM10/17/03
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"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:IMidnSmmo4F...@is.co.za...
Your place, on the sofa

jacqui

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Oct 17, 2003, 1:53:43 PM10/17/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f8fe3be$1...@127.0.0.1...

Well, there's a bit of luck! My sofa happens to be so big and comfy!
Where to from here, lover?


Geoff Bateman

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Oct 17, 2003, 5:31:35 PM10/17/03
to
I wish you two would calm down and stop panting for a few minutes. How do
you expect me to record this on film if you continue to behave like a pair
of Tibetan Yaks in heat.

Geoff Bateman OAM


Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

<snip>

jacqui

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Oct 18, 2003, 12:28:37 PM10/18/03
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"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:XcZjb.154944$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> I wish you two would calm down and stop panting for a few minutes.
How do
> you expect me to record this on film if you continue to behave like a
pair
> of Tibetan Yaks in heat.
>
> Geoff Bateman OAM
> Never tell a lie when the truth will do
> ******************************************

Well, if we weren't panting, there would be very little to record this
on film!!
Another boring soapie?? Nah - not good enough.

And Tibetan Yaks??? Yeeech!


Geoff Bateman

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Oct 18, 2003, 7:01:22 PM10/18/03
to
Boring soapy! Never! Now Tibetan Yaks may be hairy, but I don't mean to
hint that you look like one. 'Tis their passion my dear. Yaks are
vigorous (in those temperatures it's understandable), but also inventive,
sensuous, considerate of their mate and somewhat noisy as passion mounts.
It is also a closely guarded historical fact that Vatsyayana, in writing the
sacred Indian love text 'Kama Sutra' obtained much of his material,
particularly the love positions, from close observation of Tibetan Yaks
doing their bit.

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:BYmdnc41Hsw...@is.co.za...

>
> "Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> news:XcZjb.154944$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > I wish you two would calm down and stop panting for a few minutes.
> How do
> > you expect me to record this on film if you continue to behave like a
> pair
> > of Tibetan Yaks in heat.
> >
>

Jimbo

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Oct 20, 2003, 5:37:57 AM10/20/03
to
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:6Djkb.156528$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Boring soapy! Never! Now Tibetan Yaks may be hairy, but I don't mean to
> hint that you look like one. 'Tis their passion my dear. Yaks are
> vigorous (in those temperatures it's understandable), but also inventive,
> sensuous, considerate of their mate and somewhat noisy as passion mounts.
> It is also a closely guarded historical fact that Vatsyayana, in writing
the
> sacred Indian love text 'Kama Sutra' obtained much of his material,
> particularly the love positions, from close observation of Tibetan Yaks
> doing their bit.

Hence the inspiration for the song - Yaketty Yak

Geoff Bateman

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Oct 20, 2003, 6:40:10 PM10/20/03
to
Well said Jimbo!
Your comment sent me to my dusty record collection and there it was - on a
45 EP along with classics 'Do You Wanna Dance', 'High School Confidential'
and 'Jennie Lee'.

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

Jimbo

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Oct 21, 2003, 4:12:24 AM10/21/03
to
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:evZkb.159133$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Well said Jimbo!
> Your comment sent me to my dusty record collection and there it was - on a
> 45 EP along with classics 'Do You Wanna Dance', 'High School Confidential'
> and 'Jennie Lee'.
>
> Geoff Bateman OAM
Showing your age there!

jacqui

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Oct 20, 2003, 1:54:34 PM10/20/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f93ad0a$1...@127.0.0.1...

> "Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> news:6Djkb.156528$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > Boring soapy! Never! Now Tibetan Yaks may be hairy, but I don't
mean to
> > hint that you look like one. 'Tis their passion my dear. Yaks
are
> > vigorous (in those temperatures it's understandable), but also
inventive,
> > sensuous, considerate of their mate and somewhat noisy as passion
mounts.
> > It is also a closely guarded historical fact that Vatsyayana, in
writing
> the
> > sacred Indian love text 'Kama Sutra' obtained much of his material,
> > particularly the love positions, from close observation of Tibetan
Yaks
> > doing their bit.
>
> Hence the inspiration for the song - Yaketty Yak

Aaaah - so THAT is what inspired that song. Hmm.......Exuse my
ignorance........what song Yaketty Yak????????? Must be my blond hair
(on my head, silly!!)


jacqui

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Oct 20, 2003, 1:58:44 PM10/20/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:6Djkb.156528$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Boring soapy! Never! Now Tibetan Yaks may be hairy, but I don't mean
to
> hint that you look like one.

Puleeze! Thanks for that. Only hairy where it it is important (like on
my head??)

>'Tis their passion my dear. Yaks are vigorous (in those temperatures
it's understandable), but also inventive,
> sensuous, considerate of their mate and somewhat noisy as passion
mounts.

I can understand them Yaks being vigarous in that snow. Inventive,
sensous etc.?? You sure you don't know me???????? :>))

> It is also a closely guarded historical fact that Vatsyayana, in
writing the sacred Indian love text 'Kama Sutra' obtained much of
> his material, particularly the love positions, from close observation
of Tibetan Yaks doing their bit.

Well, so much for the closely guarded historical fact. Ain't so closely
guarded anymore!! And the Kama Sutra? Well, it may surprise you guys,
but I'm an avid student of that beautiful publication. And a lot of
those positions are very exciting!


Geoff Bateman

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Oct 21, 2003, 7:37:47 PM10/21/03
to

So true, so true. The days of hoop petticoats, spruco, black jeans, peddle
pushers, pony tails and real rock and roll. Them was the days!
--
Geoff Bateman OAM

Geoff Bateman

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Oct 21, 2003, 8:13:02 PM10/21/03
to
Being a student of the Kama Sutra, you most likely have a copy of "The
Perfumed Garden" by Sheikh Nefzawi. I realize he is a bit of a Johnny come
lately, having written his manuscript in the 15th century but it is an
intriguing publication, particularly from a male perspective.
Anyway, let's not get too serious, I like the bit about you being inventive
and sensuous. A sense of humour also! And last but not least - hair on
the head only? - that's my girl.
I hope you've noted this Jimbo.

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

<snip>

Jimbo

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Oct 22, 2003, 4:41:25 AM10/22/03
to
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:iYjlb.160610$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Being a student of the Kama Sutra, you most likely have a copy of "The
> Perfumed Garden" by Sheikh Nefzawi. I realize he is a bit of a Johnny
come
> lately, having written his manuscript in the 15th century but it is an
> intriguing publication, particularly from a male perspective.
> Anyway, let's not get too serious, I like the bit about you being
inventive
> and sensuous. A sense of humour also! And last but not least - hair on
> the head only? - that's my girl.
> I hope you've noted this Jimbo.
>
Duly noted. We're building up an interesting profile. My FBI training is
coming in useful.

Jimbo

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Oct 22, 2003, 4:47:02 AM10/22/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:fI2dnQwd8fN...@is.co.za...
>

> Well, so much for the closely guarded historical fact. Ain't so closely
> guarded anymore!! And the Kama Sutra? Well, it may surprise you guys,
> but I'm an avid student of that beautiful publication. And a lot of
> those positions are very exciting!
>

I was putting the Kama Sutra into practice a few years ago.
I turned over two pages at once and sprained my ankle. Could have been
worse I guess.

Hey Jacqui - why don't you throw out the "garbage" and write me an email

I could use a penpal. It would give me something to read after lock-up
You could even visit me and smuggle in some cigarettes.

Anyway - gotta get back to the exercise yard.
Bye for now!

jacqui

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Oct 22, 2003, 2:10:52 PM10/22/03
to
Oh well, at least you guys have stopped Yaketty Yakking about ME for a
change. :>))


"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message

news:frjlb.160573$bo1.1...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

jacqui

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Oct 22, 2003, 2:10:56 PM10/22/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:iYjlb.160610$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Being a student of the Kama Sutra, you most likely have a copy of "The
> Perfumed Garden" by Sheikh Nefzawi. I realize he is
> a bit of a Johnny come lately, having written his manuscript in the
15th century but it is an intriguing publication, particularly from
> a male perspective.

Nah... I'm not into modern literature!! LOL


> Anyway, let's not get too serious, I like the bit about you being
inventive and sensuous. A sense of humour also! And last but
> not least - hair on the head only? - that's my girl.

> I hope you've noted this Jimbo.

Some like it hot - some love to play in the shade of the garden!


jacqui

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Oct 22, 2003, 2:11:01 PM10/22/03
to

"Jimbo" <jim...@garbagehotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f964...@127.0.0.1...

> "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> news:fI2dnQwd8fN...@is.co.za...
> >
>
> > Well, so much for the closely guarded historical fact. Ain't so
closely guarded anymore!! And the Kama Sutra? Well, it may
> > surprise you guys, but I'm an avid student of that beautiful
publication. And a lot of those positions are very exciting!
> >

> I was putting the Kama Sutra into practice a few years ago. I turned
over two pages at once and sprained my ankle. Could have
> been worse I guess.

Not very fit for an FBI agent, are you?? Or are you a paper jockey???


>
> Hey Jacqui - why don't you throw out the "garbage" and write me an

email. I could use a penpal. It would give me something to
> read after lock-up. You could even visit me and smuggle in some
cigarettes.

Did so, Jimbo. Let me know if you got it?? And cigarettes. You bad, BAD
boy!! (Says she, lighting up a Camel Light!)


>
> Anyway - gotta get back to the exercise yard.
> Bye for now!

You do that. And don't only exercise the ankle. You gotta be fit, boyo!!

Bye for now as well also too!


jacqui

unread,
Oct 22, 2003, 2:11:06 PM10/22/03
to
OK OK - now I got it. It's part of the chorus! A bit before my time,
methinks, but still a good song. Surely better then some of the junk
they call "POP" music these days!!!

J


"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message

news:evZkb.159133$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

jacqui

unread,
Oct 22, 2003, 2:11:17 PM10/22/03
to

"Jimbo" <jim...@garbagehotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f964...@127.0.0.1...
> "Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> news:iYjlb.160610$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > Being a student of the Kama Sutra, you most likely have a copy of
"The
> > Perfumed Garden" by Sheikh Nefzawi. I realize he is a bit of a
Johnny
> come
> > lately, having written his manuscript in the 15th century but it is
an
> > intriguing publication, particularly from a male perspective.
> > Anyway, let's not get too serious, I like the bit about you being
> inventive
> > and sensuous. A sense of humour also! And last but not least -
hair on
> > the head only? - that's my girl.
> > I hope you've noted this Jimbo.
> >
> Duly noted. We're building up an interesting profile. My FBI training
is
> coming in useful.

FBI?? F bloody I????? So you're obviously an investigative fellow??


Geoff Bateman

unread,
Oct 22, 2003, 5:48:33 PM10/22/03
to
You get to exercise!! And they don't switch the power off at lockup!
Damn, some blokes get it easy.
You've got a good point. This thread is becoming rather long, but then
again, it's the only life this NG has. Would you go private and deny
lurkers their daily dose of adrenaline pumping excitement?


Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

jacqui

unread,
Oct 22, 2003, 2:23:25 PM10/22/03
to

"Jimbo" <jim...@garbagehotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f964...@127.0.0.1...
> "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> news:fI2dnQwd8fN...@is.co.za...
> >
>
> > Well, so much for the closely guarded historical fact. Ain't so
closely
> > guarded anymore!! And the Kama Sutra? Well, it may surprise you
guys,
> > but I'm an avid student of that beautiful publication. And a lot of
> > those positions are very exciting!
> >
> I was putting the Kama Sutra into practice a few years ago.
> I turned over two pages at once and sprained my ankle. Could have
been
> worse I guess.
>
> Hey Jacqui - why don't you throw out the "garbage" and write me an
email
>
> I could use a penpal. It would give me something to read after
lock-up
> You could even visit me and smuggle in some cigarettes.
>
> Anyway - gotta get back to the exercise yard.
> Bye for now!

Hey Jimbo - the internet rejected your e-mail address as 'garbage!' and
bounced my mail to you right back to me! Better let me have a better
one.

Bye for now

J


jacqui

unread,
Oct 23, 2003, 2:11:14 PM10/23/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:RWClb.161353$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> You get to exercise!! And they don't switch the power off at lockup!
> Damn, some blokes get it easy.
> You've got a good point. This thread is becoming rather long, but
then
> again, it's the only life this NG has. Would you go private and deny
> lurkers their daily dose of adrenaline pumping excitement?
>

As long as the address is valid! Not like some people that send me a
garbage address!! LOL


Geoff Bateman

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Oct 23, 2003, 5:55:22 PM10/23/03
to
There's definitely no flies on you my lass (figuratively speaking) I see
that you've easily deciphered the meaning behind the title of Sheikh
Nefzawi's classic work.

--

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message

news:KYadneJyS9E...@is.co.za...

Geoff Bateman

unread,
Oct 23, 2003, 6:07:04 PM10/23/03
to
Hey Jimbo! Now you're in a bind. How are you going to tell Jacqui that
you only get to send emails from the prison library computer, that you sell
copies of this thread to other inmates and since Jacqui revealed her
'passionate' interest in the Karma Sutra, sales have skyrocketed.(spies are
everywhere)
Jacqui my dear, have patience, Jimbo is not intentionally secretive, it's
just that he's a natural born cad
and can't help himself.

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:UoGdnRswQt1...@is.co.za...

Jimbo

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Oct 24, 2003, 4:58:41 AM10/24/03
to
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:ciYlb.162882$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
Hello friends. I was in solitary yesterday. They caught me downloading some
mpeg files from some of the more, er... *specialist* binary newsgroups.

And indeed you're right, I only get an hour on the library computer. So I
have to make the most of it.

Perhaps the *clue* to my email address was too cryptic. So here is my
email address. Help yourselves spammers!!

jim...@hotmail.com

But as we seem to be providing a public service to the community it is
perhaps unfair to go private.

p.s. I resent being labelled a cad - you bounder!

jacqui

unread,
Oct 24, 2003, 2:21:53 PM10/24/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@bo.selecta> wrote in message news:3f98e9c5$1...@127.0.0.1...

Was this for the FBI, or for your personal pleasure??? :>))

jacqui

unread,
Oct 24, 2003, 2:29:34 PM10/24/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:ciYlb.162882$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Hey Jimbo! Now you're in a bind. How are you going to tell Jacqui
that
> you only get to send emails from the prison library computer, that you
sell
> copies of this thread to other inmates and since Jacqui revealed her
> 'passionate' interest in the Karma Sutra, sales have
skyrocketed.(spies are
> everywhere)
> Jacqui my dear, have patience, Jimbo is not intentionally secretive,
it's
> just that he's a natural born cad
> and can't help himself.
> Geoff Bateman OAM

Nah - never thought he was, a cad that is. Sounds like a pleasant
cobber, actually.

jacqui

unread,
Oct 24, 2003, 2:30:20 PM10/24/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@bo.selecta> wrote in message news:3f98e9c5$1...@127.0.0.1...

Don't talk about that! I wonder what qualifies me all of a sardine to be
bombarded by Viagra adverts?? From countries like France, Sweden et al!
Now I have read that there is a Viagra being developed for women, and
maybe, MAYBE, one day, when I'm old and grey, I might think of it. Only
think, mind you! But that still doesn't give every Tom, Dick and Mary
the right to try and sell me men's Viagra! Or to advertise some pill
that will allow me to have an erection longer!! Wouldn't that be a
sight - me in a nudist camp, proudly exposing my breasts, with an
erection that will last for hours!!!!! I killfile them all, but they
keep on coming back with a different address.

jacqui

unread,
Oct 24, 2003, 2:30:24 PM10/24/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@bo.selecta> wrote in message news:3f98e9c5$1...@127.0.0.1...

Said Jimbo as he slapped Mr. Bateman lightly with his white glove on the
cheek. "I challenge you to a duel at sunrise tomorrow morning, you
bounder! And as you insulted me first, I get to chose the weapons. Water
pistols it will be!!" Oh my, where is chivalry gone these days! If only
gentlemen like that still existed, and if only they would duel for my
favours. Sigh. That must have been a wonderful time. And how could
anyone complain that we are off thread! There is SO much life in this
NG, and it's so quiet. Just the three of us!! WONDERFUL! I can just
about hear the birds twitter in the trees. :>))


jacqui

unread,
Oct 24, 2003, 2:30:28 PM10/24/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:e7Ylb.162871$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> There's definitely no flies on you my lass (figuratively speaking) I
see
> that you've easily deciphered the meaning behind the title of Sheikh
> Nefzawi's classic work.

So glad you said figuratively speaking!! I do shower, you know. And
pretty regular too, like every month that has 28 or 29 days!! :>))

And Sheik Nefzawi - what can one say that hasn't been said by far more
qualified people!

Geoff Bateman

unread,
Oct 24, 2003, 8:51:52 PM10/24/03
to
Duel? Duel? Who said anything about a duel? Here I am doing my damnest
trying to undermine Jimbo and win the very edible Jacqui for my self.
However, being a bloke of principles, I will be there...BUT, the water
pistols must be filled with Fosters and the loser must shout the next two
rounds (I trust youse both are from Oz)
In fact, before we get drunk and disorderly and covered in Fosters, I
propose we all three meet at an appropriate website and solve some of the
world's problems. I'll bring the grog. Jimbo can you manage a couple of
gym mats and about 20 or so cushions of various sizes (you can get day leave
and use some of the dough from 'movie' sales) and Jacqui, just bring your
delectable, delicious and very edible self. (and your copy of the Karma
Sutra)
PS Sorry about the 'cad' name Jimbo, makes you sound like a pom and that's
worse than being called a lawyer. How about a 'robber's dog' mate?
That's got a nice ring to it and suggests character.

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

Jimbo

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 4:29:55 AM10/28/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:naadnaU_vcb...@is.co.za...

There is a kind of natural balance. The junk emails I get are aimed at
either wanting me to add inches or remove inches. Apart from Helga's
Farmyard Fun. I didn't explore that one. And the link to a watersports
site had nothing to do with surfing.

As for viagra for women, in my experience as women get older they get
hornier. Well... I haven't tested the theory beyond 55 actually. But I
believe it to be true.

By the way - any women reading this who would like to participate in a
controlled, scientific study - let me know.

Jimbo

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 4:30:56 AM10/28/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:-_CdnZJ6X67...@is.co.za...

NP: Me and Julio down by the schoolyard

Jimbo

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 4:33:51 AM10/28/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:IOjmb.164052$bo1.1...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Duel? Duel? Who said anything about a duel? Here I am doing my
damnest
> trying to undermine Jimbo and win the very edible Jacqui for my self.
> However, being a bloke of principles, I will be there...BUT, the water
> pistols must be filled with Fosters and the loser must shout the next two
> rounds (I trust youse both are from Oz)
> In fact, before we get drunk and disorderly and covered in Fosters, I
> propose we all three meet at an appropriate website and solve some of the
> world's problems. I'll bring the grog. Jimbo can you manage a couple
of
> gym mats and about 20 or so cushions of various sizes (you can get day
leave
> and use some of the dough from 'movie' sales) and Jacqui, just bring your
> delectable, delicious and very edible self. (and your copy of the Karma
> Sutra)
> PS Sorry about the 'cad' name Jimbo, makes you sound like a pom and that's
> worse than being called a lawyer. How about a 'robber's dog' mate?
> That's got a nice ring to it and suggests character.
>
> Geoff Bateman OAM

Well I am a pom actually mate. No point trying to hide the fact. I won't
bore you with the euphamisms we have for Aussies.
I'm sure you've heard them all :-)

Robber's dog - I would wear as a badge of honour.

Gym mats, cushions, beer, Jacqui and the Karma Sutra. You know how to party
mate. I'll be there.

Jimbo

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 4:44:25 AM10/28/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:naadnao_vcb...@is.co.za...

>
> "Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> news:ciYlb.162882$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > Hey Jimbo! Now you're in a bind. How are you going to tell Jacqui
> that
> > you only get to send emails from the prison library computer, that you
> sell
> > copies of this thread to other inmates and since Jacqui revealed her
> > 'passionate' interest in the Karma Sutra, sales have
> skyrocketed.(spies are
> > everywhere)
> > Jacqui my dear, have patience, Jimbo is not intentionally secretive,
> it's
> > just that he's a natural born cad
> > and can't help himself.
> > Geoff Bateman OAM
>
> Nah - never thought he was, a cad that is. Sounds like a pleasant
> cobber, actually.
>
Scene 1:
In a damp cellar, a dishevelled figure is hunched over a keyboard, his
wizened, twisted face bathed in the ghostly glow of the computer screen. A
rat scurries across the antique desk, disturbing the cobwebs and raising a
cloud of dust.

"Pleasant cobber? Ha. She's taking the bait.
The nice guy routine is working just as I knew it would. She's convinced
those pictures of Mel Gibson that I emailed to her are really me.
Once I have crushed this interfering Geoff character like an insect, she
will be mine, MINE! MINE!"
HWAR HWAR HWAR HWARRRRRRRRRR!"

The rats, cockroaches and other denizens of his underground kingdon fled as
his evil laugh echoed off the cold walls.

Geoff Bateman

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 5:56:03 PM10/28/03
to

Fear not fair Jacqui! I shall save you from ravishment by this evil beast.
Forsooth! I shall stand firm between he and thee, resolute in the face of
even the most perilous brand of insect spray. (I pray that you wish to be
saved? After all, who'd want to be ravished in a cold, dark dungeon in the
company of rats and cockies?)

Geoff Bateman OAM


Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

jacqui

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 2:25:54 PM10/28/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@bo.selecta> wrote in message news:3f9e3713$1...@127.0.0.1...

It depends of course where you want to add or remove the inches. Now I
couldn't imagine ANY man wanting to ADD inches to his wasteline.

> Apart from Helga'sFarmyard Fun. I didn't explore that one.

Probably missed a good one. Imagine playing with all those chicks!


> And the link to a watersports site had nothing to do with surfing.

(Thinks) never tried it in the bath!)


>
> As for viagra for women, in my experience as women get older they get
hornier.

Wow!! Something to look forward to. Only 30 years to go!!!


> Well... I haven't tested the theory beyond 55 actually. But I believe
it to be true.

Stick around, guy, for another 30 years. I'll give you an invite!!!
:>))

>
> By the way - any women reading this who would like to participate in a
controlled, scientific study - let
> me know.

Send the application form soonest!

jacqui

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 2:26:44 PM10/28/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@bo.selecta> wrote in message news:3f9e3750$1...@127.0.0.1...

You an Julio? Birds?? Kinky, man!!


jacqui

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 2:27:40 PM10/28/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@bo.selecta> wrote in message news:3f9e37ff$1...@127.0.0.1...

So glad to see you've added me onto your list! Made my day!! Thanks.


jacqui

unread,
Oct 28, 2003, 2:28:21 PM10/28/03
to

"Jimbo" <j...@bo.selecta> wrote in message news:3f9e3a79$1...@127.0.0.1...

The next Alfred Hitchcock in the making!


Jimbo

unread,
Oct 30, 2003, 4:27:27 AM10/30/03
to
> > As for viagra for women, in my experience as women get older they get
> hornier.
>
> Wow!! Something to look forward to. Only 30 years to go!!!
>
>
> > Well... I haven't tested the theory beyond 55 actually. But I believe
> it to be true.
>
> Stick around, guy, for another 30 years. I'll give you an invite!!!
> :>))
>
> >
> > By the way - any women reading this who would like to participate in a
> controlled, scientific study - let
> > me know.
>
> Send the application form soonest!

A message to all the women who have written to me. Thanks for the
overwhelming response. I am working my way through them now. But I'd like
to say a special thanks to Jacqui from South Africa for the pictures. It's
a pity your face was obscured by someone's leg (I think it was a leg) but I
can see you have very nice skin. I hope the sofa that was shown in the
final picture has loose covers that you can get dry cleaned.

Geoff Bateman

unread,
Nov 2, 2003, 5:03:29 PM11/2/03
to

No posts!!
Do you two people realize that in not posting a word or two, the chance of
establishing a new record for the longest thread is kaput!

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message

news:7uCnb.168988$bo1.1...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

Father Tiresias

unread,
Nov 3, 2003, 2:09:33 AM11/3/03
to
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:Rafpb.176024$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

>
> No posts!!
> Do you two people realize that in not posting a word or two, the chance of
> establishing a new record for the longest thread is kaput!
>
And here's me thinking I had been posting all sorts of nonsense. Well I will
keep posting regardless.

I'm convinced we are the only three people here...

Geoff Bateman

unread,
Nov 3, 2003, 4:12:20 PM11/3/03
to
Father! Father!!!
Have I stumbled into a confessional or something? Is this the correct
NG? Just a minute while I have a look at the name plate on the door.
Hmmmm..... seems to be the correct cupboard.
What's up Dad - hope this is not an attempt to rid this conversation of
lust and lecherous thoughts. Rats and cockroaches, yes, but not the good
stuff.

Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************

"Father Tiresias" <bli...@bythegods.com> wrote in message
news:3fa5ff2c$1...@127.0.0.1...

jacqui

unread,
Nov 3, 2003, 1:56:27 PM11/3/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:Rafpb.176024$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

>
> No posts!!
> Do you two people realize that in not posting a word or two, the
chance of
> establishing a new record for the longest thread is kaput!


Aw!! Gee whizzz. That's the worst news I've heard for yonks!!!! But what
has happened to the hero that wanted to discuss intimate things with
me???

However, part of this is my own fault. I had a computer problem, and
lost all my mail and NG contents. Still don't know what happened.
Managed to get back again, but it tells me thee are 60 messages in this
newsgroup, and I only get 3!! Is Jimbo blocking my outside communication
capability?? Is he jealous??

jacqui

unread,
Nov 3, 2003, 1:56:52 PM11/3/03
to

"Father Tiresias" <bli...@bythegods.com> wrote in message
news:3fa5ff2c$1...@127.0.0.1...
> "Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> news:Rafpb.176024$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> >
> > No posts!!
> > Do you two people realize that in not posting a word or two, the
chance of
> > establishing a new record for the longest thread is kaput!
> >
> And here's me thinking I had been posting all sorts of nonsense. Well
I will
> keep posting regardless.
>
> I'm convinced we are the only three people here...

Father, dear Father. Forgive me, but I have to tell you that there is a
lurker or two around as well.


Jimbo

unread,
Nov 4, 2003, 4:29:36 AM11/4/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:27udneYvhOA...@is.co.za...

>
> "Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> news:Rafpb.176024$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> >
> > No posts!!
> > Do you two people realize that in not posting a word or two, the
> chance of
> > establishing a new record for the longest thread is kaput!
>
>
> Aw!! Gee whizzz. That's the worst news I've heard for yonks!!!! But what
> has happened to the hero that wanted to discuss intimate things with
> me???
>
> However, part of this is my own fault. I had a computer problem, and
> lost all my mail and NG contents. Still don't know what happened.
> Managed to get back again, but it tells me thee are 60 messages in this
> newsgroup, and I only get 3!! Is Jimbo blocking my outside communication
> capability?? Is he jealous??
>
Hello again. I've been travelling to foreign parts but I'm back.

I certainly would not block your communications even if I knew how.. But
you have reminded me of a very old joke.

A man is walking across a very narrow bridge and there is a woman walking
towards him. There just wasn't enough room for two people to pass on the
bridge. So he had to decide whether to block her passage or toss himself
off.

I know what I would have done.

And as for intimate things. Let's see... well I'm a bit of an amateur
photographer and a magazine here is running a competition where the theme is
"cold". And my idea is an extreme close up of a very cold, very erect,
female nipple. So the thing is Jacqui, I need a model if you're interested.
And assuming your nipples are up to the job.

I can supply some ice cubes. If they don't work I think some tweaking and
nibbling would help. Would certainly help me anyway.

I don't want Geoff to feel left out. Perhaps he could erect the tripod.

jacqui

unread,
Nov 4, 2003, 2:22:26 PM11/4/03
to

"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:Uwzpb.177359$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

> Father! Father!!!
> Have I stumbled into a confessional or something? Is this the
correct
> NG? Just a minute while I have a look at the name plate on the door.
> Hmmmm..... seems to be the correct cupboard.
> What's up Dad - hope this is not an attempt to rid this
conversation of
> lust and lecherous thoughts. Rats and cockroaches, yes, but not the
good
> stuff.
>
> Geoff Bateman OAM
> Never tell a lie when the truth will do
> ******************************************
AS long as you have been a good boy, there ain't nuttin' to worry about,
Geoff. Mind you - he might make you say a few hail mary's just for good
luck!


jacqui

unread,
Nov 4, 2003, 2:22:44 PM11/4/03
to

"Jimbo" <jim...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3fa7718b$1...@127.0.0.1...

> "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> news:27udneYvhOA...@is.co.za...
> >
> > "Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> > news:Rafpb.176024$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > >
> > > No posts!!
> > > Do you two people realize that in not posting a word or two, the
chance of
> > > establishing a new record for the longest thread is kaput!
> >
> >
> > Aw!! Gee whizzz. That's the worst news I've heard for yonks!!!! But
what has happened to the hero
> > that wanted to discuss intimate things with me???
> >
> > However, part of this is my own fault. I had a computer problem, and
lost all my mail and NG
> > contents. Still don't know what happened. Managed to get back again,
but it tells me thee are 60
> > messages in this newsgroup, and I only get 3!! Is Jimbo blocking my
outside communication
> > capability?? Is he jealous??
> >
> Hello again. I've been travelling to foreign parts but I'm back.
>
So you told me, so that part I can vouch for.

> I certainly would not block your communications even if I knew how..
But you have reminded me of a
> very old joke.
>
> A man is walking across a very narrow bridge and there is a woman
walking towards him. There just
> wasn't enough room for two people to pass on the bridge. So he had to
decide whether to block her
> passage or toss himself off.
>
> I know what I would have done.

Jumped over the bridge and let her pass, 'cause she wasn't me? You could
have blocked my passage, then we could have a nice chat!!


>
> And as for intimate things. Let's see... well I'm a bit of an amateur
photographer and a magazine here
> is running a competition where the theme is "cold". And my idea is an
extreme close up of a very
> cold, very erect, female nipple. So the thing is Jacqui, I need a
model if you're interested.
> And assuming your nipples are up to the job.

Oooh yes - they will do quite nicely. And you won't even need ice.


>
> I can supply some ice cubes. If they don't work I think some tweaking
and nibbling would help.
> Would certainly help me anyway.

Yes, the tweaking and nibbling bit sounds quite good.


>
> I don't want Geoff to feel left out. Perhaps he could erect the
tripod.

Don't let anybody ever accuse you of not being a gentleman!! :>))))


Jimbo

unread,
Nov 7, 2003, 1:00:47 PM11/7/03
to
HELP - I'M ALL ALONE!

Jimbo

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 7:29:57 AM11/11/03
to
Was it something I said?

jacqui

unread,
Nov 10, 2003, 12:48:43 PM11/10/03
to

"Jimbo" <jim...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3faf677f$1...@127.0.0.1...

> HELP - I'M ALL ALONE!

No no - don't despair. I'm still here. Just have been away for a break
for a few days, but I'm roaring to go again!!

jacqui

Jimbo

unread,
Nov 12, 2003, 3:35:44 AM11/12/03
to
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:f8-cnQxa-e0...@is.co.za...
Whoo hoo. And what a lovely tan.

jacqui

unread,
Nov 12, 2003, 1:45:19 PM11/12/03
to

"Jimbo" <jim...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3fb1f0ee$1...@127.0.0.1...

> "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> news:f8-cnQxa-e0...@is.co.za...
> >
> > "Jimbo" <jim...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
> > news:3faf677f$1...@127.0.0.1...
> > > HELP - I'M ALL ALONE!
> >
> > No no - don't despair. I'm still here. Just have been away for a
break
> > for a few days, but I'm roaring to go again!!
> >
> > jacqui
> >
> Whoo hoo. And what a lovely tan.

And ALL OVER as well, my boy!! Eat your heart out!!


Jimbo

unread,
Nov 13, 2003, 4:03:29 AM11/13/03
to

"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:1MidnVNPZcD...@is.co.za...
I'd rather eat your *heart* out.
Yummy

jacqui

unread,
Nov 14, 2003, 1:09:43 PM11/14/03
to

"Jimbo" <jim...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3fb348e1$1...@127.0.0.1...

>
> "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> news:1MidnVNPZcD...@is.co.za...
> >
> > "Jimbo" <jim...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
> > news:3fb1f0ee$1...@127.0.0.1...
> > > "jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
> > > news:f8-cnQxa-e0...@is.co.za...
> > > >
> > > > "Jimbo" <jim...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
> > > > news:3faf677f$1...@127.0.0.1...
> > > > > HELP - I'M ALL ALONE!
> > > >
> > > > No no - don't despair. I'm still here. Just have been away for a
> > break
> > > > for a few days, but I'm roaring to go again!!
> > > >
> > > > jacqui
> > > >
> > > Whoo hoo. And what a lovely tan.
> >
> > And ALL OVER as well, my boy!! Eat your heart out!!
> >
> I'd rather eat your *heart* out.
> Yummy

Now now, Sir, and which 'Heart" would you be talking about???


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