(Almost) Murder, she wrote

[Michael Cash]

Yesterday morning I was sitting at a warehouse I sometimes go to,
waiting for the People Who Work By The Clock to decide that it was
time to unload. While sitting there, I heard an ambulance. Much to my
surprise, the ambulance came up the driveway.

After we finally got started unloading, I had a chance to ask one of
the guys there what had happened. The ambulance came at 8:15 or so,
and they normally don't do any work until at least 8:30. I thought the
chance that it was a work-related injury must be pretty small.

I was right.

It turns out that a couple of guys at that place had been pissed at
each other, at least from the day before. One of them decided that he
would pick up a hammer and attempt to pulverize the other one's skull.
I didn't see the hammeree, but from what I heard, the hammerer
deserves an "A" for effort. There will probably be a more formal
assessment of his performance, though. One which involves a number
grade instead of a letter grade.

Next time I go back I'll find out if the hammeree survived his
bashing, and if the charges will be, as those of us there speculated,
attempted murder.

[Dick Muhfukkin Bagswing]

Being that I am a nosy assed hillbilly at heart,I will want ALL of the
details as they unfold!

Brian