Depression And Divinity

[ShuutokuTentei]

Depression And Divinity

Certainly there is nothing divine about depression, or is there?
If I were to line up one hundred Christians and ask them if they would
like God to gift them with depression, it is entirely likely I would
be looked at as if I were a salted nut bar. Those that did dash to
the head of the line for a good healthy dose of depression would
likely be too depressed to get depressed. All in all, this would most
likely leave me in a state of depression, whereas, I would retreat
within myself wondering what in the world I have to be depressed
about! Anyone who has ever suffered depression has asked themselves
this very same question over and over. What in the world do I have to
be depressed about? I have a great family, great kids, great pets, a
great job, great in laws, and even a few great outlaws. Most of all I
have a God who loves me more than I love myself. What else could I
possibly hope for?
When I Google depression, I get seventy six million hits. Logic
dictates that the knowledge contained within seventy six million hits,
should and would have lent itself to a cure for this most pernicious
disease yesterday, yet its persistence and insidious nature remains a
dark specter in the lives of between fifteen and twenty million
Americans today. There are some reports that depression is more
pervasive than cancer, AIDS, or heart disease. It is estimated that
in the next ten years depression will be the most common health
problem in the world. Questions are being asked if all the
antidepressants on the market, and all the therapeutic regimes
developed, have actually had an impact on depression. Depression
often goes hand in hand with addictions of all types magical or
monstrous. The three top causes of teen death are accidents,
homicide, and suicide likely depression induced. Are you depressed
yet?
So, depression is not a plague sent by God as a divine punishment
of the faithful, it manifests itself on both the evil and the good.
Before you label me stuporous and jocular, I assure you I find no
humor in depression albeit some of the funniest comedians to grace the
stage with unending hilarity suffered from severe depression. “I
can’t get no respect!” Some of the funniest people on the planet are
just a cylinders turn away from eternity. I could smack you in the
face with the names of so many well know people who wrestle(d) with
depression, you would scream, “Say it ain’t so”! There is ample
evidence to suggest that depression has been around since the
beginning of time. But did it mirror depression that we experience in
today’s world? Let us leave the confines of the twenty-first century
and step back into Biblical times.
Imagine Adam and Eve thrown out of paradise on their derriere’s
listening to the gate slam behind them. Now they not only have to
face the stress and worry of moving, an uncertain future, but have
managed in one fell swoop to anger and disappoint the creator of the
universe. Noah is standing in his back yard silently mumbling to
himself, “He wants me to build what and this is not even a union
job.” Lot’s wife turns into a pillar of salt, and his daughters
seduce him. Moses leaves to go up the mountain in celebration of the
salvation of the Israelites and when he gets back they are dancing
around a golden calf thumbing their noses at Yahweh. In 586 BC every
Babylonian in the world sacked Solomon’s Temple and the Hebrews are
forced into Babylonian exile. So much for freedom. Saul, hunts David
from pillar to post with mayhem and murder on his mind. The
Israelites suffer a cataclysmic defeat at the hands of the Philistines
and the Holy Ark Of The Covenant is captured. Jesus learns of John
the Baptist’s beheading. Lazarus lay dead, and where is Jesus? Why
was he so untimely? We find the three Mary’s standing at the foot of
the cross abject and devastated. Paul, perhaps the greatest of all
apostles, takes a trip to Damascus and ends up going blind. John the
Devine is exiled to Patmos to endure visions of the Apocalypse. Are
they depressed yet?
“Gee Dad can’t I be what I wanna be when I grow up”? “But I
wanna be a beach bum and ride the waves all day, and you want me to be
a lawyer.” Well now that I am a lawyer, I am as happy and as snug as
a bug in a rug. I think. Life is full of choices, and that fact
alone gives some people safety and security, and for others it leaves
them feeling insanely insecure. Just how does one end up on one side
of the fence or the other? Is it genetics, or environment? Life is
full of demands, and that fact alone gives some people the challenges
they need, and others it leaves them feeling terrified about the
future. Just how do people get themselves into demanding life
situations, or are those demands thrust upon them whether they like it
or not? Well, as it turns out, “It’s six of one, and a half a dozen
of the other.” In other words, I’m not sure there is an adequate
answer to the question, save and except, that too often the soup we
end up in, is what we ordered for ourselves. Whether you like the
soup or not you still have to pay for it!
I thought things were going rather well until they found them
dead with a note taped to their dresser mirror. How can this be, how
can this happen? I just saw them yesterday and they were laughing and
cutting up. What did I miss, where did I do wrong? What could I
have done to prevent this? I thought they were happy and well
adjusted. I knew they had some problems, but no problems so serious
they would have succumbed to suicide. Just because they had a failed
relationship? How could they do this to me? Where can I go to rend
my garments to free myself from this guilt? Often, the more logic we
muster to understand such a tragedy the further we get from peace of
mind. It just makes no sense at all. We tell ourselves it’s not our
fault, we can’t be with someone twenty four hours a day, yet for many,
the guilt takes a lifetime to abate. For some the guilt never leaves
them, it becomes a tolerable, strange bedfellow they carry around with
them. If I could just go back in time I know I could stop them from
getting to such a place in their life. If I had just one more day,
one more hour, one more minute.
Welcome to the twenty-first century ladies and gentlemen. Now
she puts away her husband, and he puts away his wife, and they put
away their lovers, mistresses, office colleagues, co-workers, and
neighbors as easily and as often as they change their soiled linens.
It’s really very trendy. Reality television is in for both Christians
and pagans alike. Everybody loves to saunter down Wisteria Lane at
least once. There are more bored housewives on led televisions than
chickens in everybody’s pots. Best of all you can watch them on fifty
inch screens, and in high definition. Yes! Then you have the
internet. “Hey Beave, did you see all the stuff on there”? You can
find anything you want on the internet. As a matter of fact, believe
it or not, you are just two little mouse clicks away from an addiction
that defies all other addictions combined. I’ll tell you what, lets
evade all this perversity, get a bunch of us together, and get lost on
a deserted tropical island. Surely we can get away from all this
stress and back biting while having a bit of privacy. Oops, got to
remember to pack my supermarket tabloids though.
But I just adore those little cheese stick appetizers followed by
seven layered Lasagna made with imported mozzarella and ricotta
cheese, nesting next to those delicious Italian sausages that melt in
your mouth, all of which are topped off with white chocolate raspberry
cheesecake and Rose’ champagne. Then to the easy chair I go, leaning
back, delighting in several glasses of Jacobazzi wine, whereas I
contemplate my toes barely visible. I reach for the comfort of my
cigarettes, sigh a deep sigh, anticipating the menthol laden vapors
filling my lungs. As the smoke fills the room, I think how nice it is
to be alone. Then I realize that I’m always alone. I have not had a
date for months. For that matter have not had the opposite sex throw
me a glance in, well I can’t remember. What’s wrong with me? Just
because I put on forty pounds and smell like an ashtray. I think I
will just take two pain killers, a sleeping pill, and go to bed.
In my early teens, in an effort to be cool, I flippantly asked my
Grandfather “Anything happening”? He quickly retorted “Nothing
happened but the dog died”! In disbelief and shock I said, “How did
the dog die”? Here is where he launched into a most puzzling
diatribe. “The dog ate some burned horse hair because the barn burned
down. The barn burned down because the flames jumped from the house
to the barn. The house burned down because the candles fell over in
the house. The candles fell over while they were around great aunt
Essese’s coffin. Aunt Essese died because of a runaway buckboard
caused by a snake who spooked the horses. So nothing happened but the
dog died”! It has taken me a good bit of living to understand what he
was trying to convey to me however slapstick. It is said that fashion
is cyclic. Perhaps so it is that life is cyclic with one event
triggering yet another. The question we need to ask ourselves is
whether we can truly exercise control over the snake crossing over our
path when we least expect it.
Ok, now here is a new and revolutionary idea, blaming it on the
Devil. After all, the Devil made me do it, which led to my
circumstances, which lead to my life falling apart, which led me to
feeling alone and isolated, which led me to withdraw from society,
which led me to start drinking, which led me to drug addiction, which
led me to sex addiction, which lead me to attempt suicide, which led
me to depression. Argh! I feel like my foot is nailed to the floor
and I just keep going around in circles. I suppose if one wants to
pass the buck, what better personage to pass it to then the Devil.
Surely, he is the prince and power of the air, yet shall we not take
some responsibility for what we do and say? When we stand before God
do you think he is going to allow us to blame everything on you know
who? Jesus rebuked the Devil. Jesus took responsibility for his
actions. As well, Jesus expected everyone else to take responsibility
for their actions. Gods expectation was that Jesus take
responsibility for his actions. So how much better are we?
There is a lightning bolt coming to a house near you, or so it
may seem. Everyone is subject to Gods caress, or thump, depending on
your perspective. Depression moreover does not discriminate. It
strikes all races, all cultures, both sexes, the young and the old.
It strikes the Christian community, Jewish community, and the Islamic
community. It is an equal opportunity pestilence. In spite of that
fact, for some people it remains a dirty little secret that is better
kept in the dark and to themselves. I mean not to imply that we
should all drive to Chicago, go to the top of the Sears Tower, and
yell “I’m depressed”! Frankly if one were to do so, your likely to
have about one hundred other people shout, “Me too, just don’t jump,
somebody will have to clean up the mess.” Thus, we know we are not
alone in our plight. We know that others suffer as we do. We know
they are struggling to find a solution to the problem. Yet, we still
feel desperately alone, desperately vulnerable, desperately hopeless
and helpless. In spite of the best assurances of our well wishers
that God will not forsake us, we often feel abandoned. Why has God
not heard my cries?
For some it is fashionable to be depressed. For some to be
depressed implies that you need regular psychologist or psychiatrist
appointments year, after year, after year. For some if you need a
life time psychologist or psychiatrist, it implies you have money or a
very good insurance package. Of course attached to all of this, is
the big house with the thirty year mortgage, three cars under the
carport, the Harley for nice sunny days, the time share, a television
and computer in every room, with Egyptian cotton towels in the two and
one half baths. Nice Huh? For others depression represents getting
through the day, wondering how they are going to make the mortgage
this month, what the evening meal may or may not be, worrying when the
car is going to give up the ghost, and how they are going to pay for
the kids shoes. Once upon a time to have enough was considered a
blessing. Now we want more, and more, and more. Our blessings of
plenty has turned on us, and for the most part, we are completely
oblivious to it.
Mad magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman is famous for saying “What me
worry?” There is something very comforting about this goofy looking,
red haired, freckle face kid with big ears, and incredible gap between
his front teeth. He actually looks like he really does not have a
care in the world. We cannot say this to be so for millions and
millions of people today. Worry is to the right of you, to the left
of you, front and back of you, up and down of you. Worry is
everywhere. No matter where you go, where you run, worry is
everywhere. Often worry turns into obsession most foul. With the
world in the turmoil it is in, and the country full of people without
jobs, without hope, without a shred of promise to look toward, is it
any wonder that Christians pray for the return of Jesus yesterday!
What happened to those days when you just had plain old Charlie
Brown like depression? Today you can’t just be depressed, they have
to stick some other malicious malady with it. There are those that
say depression is anger turned inward, and who am I to argue with
those that say that. Perhaps depression is anger turned inward. I
say it is lack of love sent outward. Are people who love harder, love
more, love freely, love without thought, and love without condition
less prone to depression? Are those that are gifted with faith,
hope, and belief somehow immunized from the ravages of depression. To
feel hopeless and helpless is to be in a dark place. To step into the
light of God is to get the endorphins flowing, the pupils dilated, the
coldness turned into warmth, the negative turned into the positive.
Did he not promise to never leave you, and always be with you until
the end? How is it that we read that, remind ourselves of that,
reassure others of that, but deep down question it? It is pretty
simple, either we trust what he tells us or we do not. The choice is
up to you.
Many places in the world that are not crisscrossed by modern
highways have paths by which people traverse the distances. Some
paths are well lit, while others are in constant darkness. In life we
learn about the places on the path and the possible dangers that lay
ahead or behind. Most of all we are taught to stay on the path, for
to step off could mean sudden tragedy or sudden death. Outside the
path coexists reward and that which may devour us. If we were to
recognize depression sunning itself in the middle of the path directly
ahead of us, we would likely develop a strategy to go around it, or go
back, but certainly not rush head long into it. We know that
depression can strike anyone, anywhere, at any time. It is when we
step off the path that we are most vulnerable. It hides behind the
rocks and the trees waiting to strike when we least expect it. As
well, many of we out here in wonderland do not know our path, never
been on the path, and do not want to get on the path. We just want to
remain blissfully free to roam. Well I suppose that is a choice that
God grants all of us. It is called free will or free agency. So we
walk about singing “I got no strings on me.”
If you have not figured it out yet, in many respects depression
is divine. God knows exactly what depression is. He knows because he
knows his children. God knows what all of his children have
experienced since the beginning of time. God knows the path you are
supposed to be on. More importantly, God knows all the people that
are on the same path that you are intended to travel. God knows where
and when those paths intersect. How can he possibly help you if you
are out there fecklessly meandering around in the woods? Many of us
expect, or even demand, that God just intervene in some supernatural
way and miraculously free us from depression. Surely he has the power
to do so, but does he as a rule? Is not the answer self evident? God
is a user of all that he has created including the people on your path
and those that intersect it. He uses doctors and dentists,
psychologist and psychiatrists, Reverends and Rabbi’s, butchers,
bakers, and candlestick makers. Your redemption from depression is
directly proportional to your gift of redemption from God. God will
not demand that you get out of the woods and onto your path, but it
will certainly please him, and just possibly open a dialog with him,
if you make the effort. When you begin to walk down your path, God
will better be able to begin to help you, help yourself. You must
have the courage to take that first step. Reach out, take his hand,
and he will lead you. Be still and know.

ShuutokuTentei - RS2010
http://www.arkofthecovenantyhvh.com/