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Over the last 40 years I have asked over 2000 women clients this question:

Why don’t you want to have sex with your husband/boyfriend?

They have shared many reasons (see below) but those reasons ALL fall into two simple and distinct categories.  I have decided to share the reasons in hopes my men (and women) readers will pay attention, make a few changes, and then get happy.

A little background information could also be helpful.

Feminine is always attracted to masculine
Every intimate, loving relationship (straight and gay) has a masculine and a feminine.  It seems that this is a Law of Relationships and cannot be avoided.  In heterosexual couples generally the man displays the masculine energy and the woman the feminine.  Gay couples always have one partner who is more masculine and the other more feminine.

Whether straight or gay, the feminine is attracted to the masculine and vice versa.  This seems to be a Law of Nature.  When an imbalance occurs, dysfunction follows.  If, for example, a woman displays too little feminine energy for her man, he loses interest.  When a man displays too little masculine energy for his woman, she loses interest.

Read this:   Sex Etiquette for Roommates
What follows are reasons or examples of things men do or don’t do that cause loss of sexual interest in their partners.  Most, if not all, can be connected to Points 1 and 2, too little masculine energy or behavior or too much childishness.

Why won’t your wife (girlfriend) have sex with you?
There are two basic reasons that apply to over 95% of men who have this difficulty.

Reason 1 – You don’t act like a man.
What do I mean by “you don’t act like a man”?  I mean your woman, the one you want to be sexually attracted to you, sees your behavior and your attitudes and thinks you are too wimpy, too neurotic, too careful, not assertive enough, too much of a whiner, not protective of her, don’t take the lead enough, too often anxious and indecisive, boring, run away from conflict, too passive, lack passion, lack self-respect, too much of a nice guy when you need to be tough, avoid dealing with difficult people and situations, and don’t take risks.

Read this:   The DOs and DONTs of Sleeping with Multiple People
Notice, I did not say you don’t make enough money or are not is great shape.  These may be a factor in extreme circumstances but they are not in the top 20 reasons why you don’t get what you want from her.

Yes, we are in an age that encourages men to be more sensitive and vulnerable and feeling aware. Those qualities may make her like or even love you but they will not make her feel like jumping your bones.  Your woman wants a man, a real man, and not a wimp (see all qualities above).  I know this is hard to hear but you want more sex right?  If you want her to get excited about you, get turned on and ready to give you the best sex you ever had, you need to read the list above and face the facts.  DO NOT, DO NOT, become defensive and start listing the ways you are not the way she thinks you are.  Being defensive is another guaranteed way to make her cold as ice.

So here is an even harder question: Are you man enough to face the truth about your level of manliness and make positive changes?  If you are then here are some suggestions that I have given to many men in your position.  The ones who found the balls to follow my guidance are having lots more sex (with their wives).  No kidding.

Read this:   5 Things You Should Do If You Can't Have An Orgasm
Why did I say this takes balls?

Because it does.  It takes real courage to face one’s inadequacies (especially as it relates to being a man) and do something positive about them.  Remember, courage is a big turn on to your woman.

If you want more sex, pay attention and make some manly decisions.  She will love (want) you for it!

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