You must die I alone am best!
I hope ya flip some guy the bird
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve
In front of the Beatles' tour bus
A Bookmobile and a Mack truck
Hauling hazardous biological waste
The Light turns red you have no brakes
And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape
So you can see the look on your face
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
I hope your Pinto begins to spin
Takes out a disabled Vietnam VeteranMows down a Nobel Peace Prize Winner
And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner
Perhaps even the British Roayl Family
And the Rabbi that's clutching the bottle-fed puppy
And we can't forget the newlyweds
And those Jerry's Kids are as good as dead
I hope this helps to emphasize
I hope this helps to clarify
I hope you die
I hope your cellmate thinks he's God
But C.N.N. refer to him as "Bowling Ball Bag Bob"
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse
Only this time the victim's a Clydesdale horse
While he masturbates to photos of livestock
He does the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to Christian Rock
Eats feces and quotes from "Deliverance"
And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson
And forces you to play a game called "Balls On Chin"
And whatever happens next is all a blur
But you remember "fist" can be a verb
And when you finally regain consciousness
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress
And the prison guard looks the other way
'Cause he's the guy ya flipped the bird the other day
I hope this helps to emphasize
I hope this helps to clarify
I hope you die
I hope you die
[THE INEVITABLE RETURN OF THE GREAT WHITE DOPE]
"A" is for "Apple"
"B" is for "Balloons"
"C" is for "Crayons"
"D" is for "Drum"
Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell
One thousand nine hundrer and seventy-two
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher
Genius with a penis the few the proud the me
I liked me so much I had to buy the company
Soul for sale sold to Satan for a hell of a lotta luck
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized
Idolized or despised bet I'm gettin' recognized
Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head
Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity
Teeter-tottering between brillance and insanity
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope
Conclusions you drew proportions you blew
Lost son of Iggy? False Bigger nose than Ziggy? True
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop no my pop's name is Dick
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class
One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass
Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke
I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke!"
I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how I planned it so
can it
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope
[THREE POINT ONE FOUR]
My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky
so my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their
pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me
I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina
Women are like dog doo hear me through don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX smart like Janeane Garafolo
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System gee
You know what I reall want in a girl? Me
I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina
Vagina vagina vagina vagina
Vagina vagina vagina vagina
[MOPE]
We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa
that ain't with us no mo.
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.
Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug
that never seen it comin'.
Yeah, Tupac Shakur.
Nah bitch, I'm talkin' 'bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit.
What? Falco?
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Tried to O.D. on the Cold-Eeze
"Golden Girls" got me "Sweatin' To The Oldies"
Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas
Wrote to Mayor McCheese "Send a Shamrock Shake please!"
Three O' Clock on the dot time to cruise for Eight graders
Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later
Reruns of Reruns so "What's Happening?"
Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again
Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy
Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty
Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it
Go through "National Geographic" and draw panties on the natives
So I like to dance naked in front of my pets
But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S.
Playin' spin the bottle with my mom
I watch "Cops" with no pants on
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five"
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Nowhere to go I can't wake up late
Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate
Stalemate jailbait in "My So-Called Life" imprisonment
Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it?
I like to pretend I'm speed reading
Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing
Don't need a shower today just some Brut by Faberge
Smell the ass of my jeans clean they'll do another day
And I recycle I sniff my own farts
I dial the wrong number hope a conversation starts
I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey
Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby
Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime
Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time
Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest
Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five"
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
Yo yo yo yo yo! what it is motherfuckers?
Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man.
Hey Pac-Man, what's up?
Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase?
No Pac-Man drugs are bad!
Nope can't help you man.
Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit!
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five"
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni