[The Next Thing That Can Go Wrong
Laurice Whack
My wife and I are currently on our 2nd trip to Europe. Last year, we loved our trip to Paris, Barcelona, Italy, and Dublin. This year, we're traveling in Belgium, the Rhine Valley, and Amsterdam. We're currently in Bruges getting ready to head to the St. Bernardus B&B in the countryside tomorrow.
Overall, we've had a great time attending Ghent Festival, tasting Belgian beers, friets, chocolates, etc. However, we've had some misses/roadblocks so far - oversleeping our Brussels walking tour, missing the Ghent alterpiece by 15 minutes, taking a midnight trip to the hospital (everything turned out ok), some disappointing meals, and generally trying to squeeze in too many things and feeling like we're missing some of things we came for. Can anyone help with advice on how to see the bright side of things and keep a positive attitude? Personal experiences, tips, etc... Thanks!
When things go wrong on a trip, it's not fun.
It seems that you've already identified what's not working for you, and what you can change, as you said, "trying to squeeze in too many things and feeling like we're missing half of what we came for."
Because the current travel behavior isn't working as well as you'd like, you can change it.
Here's what we've done, it's a matter of personal travel preference, so what works for me won't necessarily work for you, but here's some things that have worked for me: since European trips, all the way from N. America, are inherently stressful, we've slowed things down, staying longer in places, less on the move.
Staying longer in one place. Spending more unscheduled time, waking up some mornings with no itinerary works for us.
Now that wouldn't work for a lot of travelers, some would find this boring. But it's an example of what you can do to slow things down. Sometimes less is more, seeing less can enhance the quality of your trip, depending upon you and your travel style.
Once you get back home your clearest, funniest and most memorable moments will be all the things that went wrong. We often remember the day we almost missed our train to Paris after having our German train break down, leaving us standing in a field waiting for alternate transportation. Or the time we jumped on a train going in the wrong direction to an unknown location, and the nice young girl who redirected us and eventually got us on the right "track". Or the trip where EVERY SINGLE restaurant we picked had no one else in but us two. It was like we had cooties or were wearing signs that said "Under Quarantine". Or our most recent travels on a RS tour where we went to a Mexican restaurant in Finland (just couldn't swallow another bite of fish) that had the worst food we have ever eaten, and I spilled an entire beer over another tour member's food. Priceless memories. Every moment of travel should be savored. Don't worry about what you didn't see, just enjoy the things you do. For example, I am sure everyone will be interested to hear your hospital story. That had to be quite the experience. Here's to the rest of your travel adventures- may you create many wonderful memories together!
Because, as you said, trying to squeeze in too many things isn't working for you, I have a feeling that you'll do some things differently for the rest of this trip and on your next Europe trip.
And then future trips will get better and better, as you discover what works better for you and your travel companion!
In all seriousness, you're on vacation (hardly an unenviable situation) experiencing some inconvenient first-world problems...how do you feel better when things go wrong at home? You muddle through it and keep your spirits up by focusing on what's going well. Humor and humility always seem to help.
I know someone who traveled to Peru and promptly wound up in the hospital with altitude sickness. She said the hospital folks were so kind to her that it was really a very special part of the experience.
Since day one (1972) my wife has always had the attitude, "We will see that the next time." And we move on. We have always planned a blank day (nothing scheduled) every four or five days. Sleep in, do laundry, catch things we may have miss earlier - in other words - slack in the schedule. That really suits our style of travel.
By the way - next time after the first trip was 1990. But our next trips after have been much closer to one and two year intervals. And we are still says, "We will catch that next time."
We had have disappointing meals in the US so why should Europe be any different. But we have had many great one also. We have never had a bad trip. Have had some challenges. Our our last trip had two planes canceled - not postponed or delayed - canceled !!! Talk about screwing up the schedules. And we missed a connecting airline flight with non refundable ticket. Part of travel. It is just attitude. It happens, move on. There is always next time.
I'm sorry that everything hasn't worked out as you has planned but thank goodness the late night trip to the hospital turned out ok! Don't give up. Some trips work out better than others but as time goes by, you will be able to laugh at the things that went wrong...like that dump of a town in Indonesia where we could only find the most miserable, stinking hot, mosquito infested rooms with bus loads of mountain climbers arriving very noisily at 2:00 AM...it was a miserable night and one that we laugh about surprisingly frequently! Hang in there!
Travelor1234, we are getting to ready for another trip (Spain) in the fall. We had such a wonderful trip last year to Eastern Europe that we can hardly wait for this one.......here is perhaps the problem for you and maybe us? Such wonderful times before and the expectation level is so high to achieve once again that wonderful holiday already once had. Maybe you just have to slow down, as you already said, forget about your last trip and think only about this trip and what is waiting for you to enjoy. Sleeping in, while yes, you missed something, but who doesn't want to sleep in!!! Lucky you, a good rest! Slow down, down worry about everything to see and just like the last poster said "catch it on the next trip"
-Make lists of three tiers - must dos, want to dos, and if-possibles. Have, at most, one must do per day with some days of no "musts". Limit the musts to true essentials for you - if you don't care all that much about the eiffel tower, it's not a must even if everyone else thinks it is. Be extremely selective about the "musts", and be happy if you get to a want-to-do instead of mourning all the if-possible's you missed. The idea is that you need to be OK only seeing the musts and missing everything else (although you will have time for some of the wants as well, especially if you take the next point on my list!).
-Take more time per place - less moving around means more time to make up for "mistakes", and you feel more comfortable in your spot. Also, pad your time. A lot. If your train arrives at 3 and it's a half hour to the hotel...plan on it taking an hour or more. Less stress about "delays" and you won't schedule something too close. Get there early? Great, you have time to relax or to go to the want-to-do down the street. Bonus!
-try your best to remember that the things that go "wrong" make good stories and memories later. No one cares about my trip to the Louvre - it's been done by plenty of people - but they love my story of getting caught in a rainstorm, falling and twisting my ankle (mildly), accidentally limping into a hospital that I thought was a hotel, and getting driven to my hotel by the doctor, who didn't speak English, and my French was limited to 20 words. If everything turned out OK from the hospital, this may be your story!
-I don't really know how to do this, but I've found that over time focusing on experiences not "sights" to be extremely helpful. Just wandering around Venice with no plans to go into a museum or eat a spectacular meal. Stop at a cafe to enjoy the scene, but don't worry about the meal living up to expectations. You're in Venice - savor it, don't run to get to the 10th church of the day before closing. More of an in-the-moment kind of approach. For ME, the only way to do this is a combo of careful planning (so I know the must-sees and can feel comfortable with skipping other things) and travel experience. On your first trip, it's hard to have this perspective, but if you keep it in mind it will develop. I'm still working on it, and some days I'm terrible at it, but it's coming.
-Re-live your trip in your mind after you get back. Right away, and months later. See what stands out to you. Then do more of that kind of thing, less of the things that don't stay with you. This will vary by person, but whatever sticks with you is what matters for your travels. On a trip recently, one of the things that stands out most is a day in a park with a beautiful view, kids playing with local kids on a playground, going to a neighborhood store to get a picnic and just being there. So, more of that.
"...since European trips, all the way from N. America, are inherently stressful, we've slowed things down, staying longer in places, less on the move. Staying longer in one place. Spending more unscheduled time, waking up some mornings with no itinerary works for us. "
It's exactly the same for us. We learned very early on that too much in too little time created more opportunities for wrenches in the machinery, and amplified our reaction to even minor inconveniences (those things that can go wrong). We may travel between fewer individual places but time in one spot allows us to choose a day trip or outdoor activity when the weather is most favorable, or to simply have an adventure day scouting what isn't on the list.
Some things are simply out of a tourist's control. How much hand-wringing have we seen because Trevi Fountain has been covered in scaffolding for months? It happens. The good news is that for every Big Thing that is closed or being restored, there's usually something equally as interesting/pretty/important not too far away. Shrug it off and go find that thing: you'll have a valuable insight to share with others who are going to run into the same problem. Pat yourself on the back for being resourceful enough to make something delicious out of that sour lemon. Those little pats can go a long way where overcoming disappointment is concerned.
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