1) Use the worst case time for all heads. The fire code limits flooding time so this number won't be that large for a properly designed system
2) A primary factor is the volume of pipe to be flooded between the water source and the open head. You could have a CTRL for each head with a different delay time.
3) Run FDS. See the sequence of head operations. Rerun FDS with explicit times for water delivery based on the sequence.