Unsettling issue

[beatr]

Father Joe,

Thank you very much for a previous response to a question I posted.
Your response was very helpful to me.

I have a new question, and this is related to a recent issue which has
unsettled me. My mother passed past year. I have a sister who is
single and had lived with my mother all of her life. My sister has
been very sad since the death of my mother, and it has been very
difficult for her to live alone. She has been complaining to me that
she cannot sleep, and that she did not like to be alone. I have been
trying to advice her to take on more activities such as craft courses,
etc. but to not much avail.
A few days ago she told me that the reason why she didn't like to be
alone is because she has seen my mother in one or two occasions. My
mother did not have a "good death", she wasn't comforted by a priest
before dying and I am afraid there may have been some burdens in her
mind (regarding her life) during the last couple of weeks of her
life.
Recently, my sister decided to leave her apartment and rent a room in
the house of a lady who was seeking a roomate.
I have been praying for my mother's soul since she passed. I have been
praying the rosary very frequently for the past few months and have
asked Our Lady to guide my mother to heaven. I also pray for my
sister.

Father Joe, what is your advice on this issue? I am unsettled about
what my sister told me. Are there any special prayers or sacrifices I
could offer on behalf of my mother's soul?
Thank you so much for your help.

[Father Joe]

What your sister describes is not uncommon. Usually it is a trick of
the mind. After years as a caregiver, when a parent dies, we can get
a sense of the departed in familiar places. I suppose the force of
habit makes the mind see or hear the deceased. Some report smells
like familiar perfumes. Could it be more? As a priest, I would have
to say yes, but it would be less likely. It could be a loved one
asking for prayers of final deliverance (from purgation). There is
also another possibility which I hesitate to mention. A classmate in
seminary thought he saw his dead mother in a mirror. Well, to make a
long story short, it was not his mother.

If you would like to know more about that story, here is the link on
my blog. But please be warned, it is a bit unsettling and probably
not the thing to read at night. I do not think it should be shared
with your sister either:

http://fatherjoe.wordpress.com/stories/face-in-the-mirror/

I would simply recommend having a Mass said for your mother and maybe
a blessing of the house. It is also good to redecorate and clean
things out. Memories can haunt us. Sometimes it is necessary to make
a change. The living should not live with ghosts, even if just those
in the mind and heart.