MICHAEL: Divorce/Annulment Question

[Father Joe]

QUESTION: My first wife decided she no longer wanted to be married
and divorced me. At that time the only way I could remain a Catholic
in good standing would be to get an annulment. I decided not to do
that because it would involve making statements about my exwife and
myself that were not true. I was single for 7 yrs and then met and
married *****. She is also divorced and is the mother of 4 daughters.
I feel very fortunate to have met and married *****. My beliefs are
still the same as they were. I guess I am still a Catholic at heart
but cannot practice my religion.

RESPONSE:

First, it is unfortunate that your first wife divorced you. However,
I must take a certain exception with the assertion, "the only way I
could remain a Catholic in good standing would be to get an
annulment". This is not strictly true. If the fault was hers and you
were convinced that you were still married, then you would need no
annulment to practice your faith. You would, however, have to remain
chaste and refrain from any romantic entanglements that could lead to
adultery. Despite the civil divorce, your marriage would still be
recognized as authentic by the Church. The only qualification here is
if your wife, herself, pursued an annulment. The fact that she no
longer wanted to be married makes me think there might have been a pre-
existing impediment regarding her consent, deliberation, and honesty.

Second, the problem here was initiated by your wife, but you actually
must accept significant blame in that you regarded a romantic
relationship as more critical than your unity with Christ and
fellowship within the Church. You and your second wife are both
divorced. Without declarations of nullity, your new bond is
considered both illicit and invalid. You say you feel fortunate for
meeting her, but together you have committed the mortal sin of
adultery. If you are truly thinking with the Church, then you must
know that such a sin forfeits the gift of eternal life. How can that
be a demonstration of true love and faith? I suspect that on a
practical level, despite protestations, you actually dissent against
Church teachings. What does it mean to still be a Catholic in your
heart? Are you talking about sentiment? Sorry, sentiment be damned,
what matters is faith and obedience! You cannot practice your
religion because you have chosen not to do so. The fault is not the
Church nor her ministers. It is yours.

What must you do now? You must place your arrogance aside and apply
for an annulment. Your new partner must do the same, regardless as to
whether she is a Catholic or not. Contact your priest and the
Tribunal immediately. Annulments are not guaranteed, but you should
be honest throughout the entire process. If you lie about anything, I
assure you that it will come out with the interviews of witnesses. If
you want your new relationship recognized and validated by the Church,
you have no other option short of murdering the former spouses. And
that is something I think we can all agree, is not a genuine or moral
option. Do you want God to bless your marriage and spouse? Do you
want to consecrate your home to God? Do you want the graces for a
good life together? Do you want your partner to go to heaven?
(Remember, that no act of charity or work has any value whatsoever for
a person whose soul is dead and blackened by mortal sin.)

Do you not want the priest's absolution? Do you not want to receive
Holy Communion again?

Contact your priest and Tribunal, right now! Make no excuses or
rationalizations or procrastinations! Pick up the phone and call
before you do anything else! If it is late at night, call and leave a
message on the answering machines. Give no room to selfishness or
embarassment. Call!

[Alexis]

Research conducted by various pro-life groups have revealed that, any
couple terminating a pregnancy, will get divorced in three years. This
includes termination of pregnancies due to the use of abortifacients
such as pills, IUCD, norplant, injections etc. which far outnumber
clinical termination of pregnancy.

If a couple has used any abortifacient both the spouses are guilty of
sin and its consequences. Most often we do not see our own mistakes
but keep blamming the other spouse for all the problems. This blame
game started with Adam & Eve and still continue.

So ask your self whether you have been a true Catholic, have you
"practiced" the faith one hundred percent. if not you will have to go
to the root of your problem and start rectifying this. I had similar
issues with my wife, but the Holy Spirit taught me certain prayers of
sanctification which restored my marriage partially. I am still
working out on my sanctification and hope things will return to normal
soon, in my marriage.

If you are interested I will give you these prayers, and am sure it
will rectify your life. I have seen this happening to various people
who tried these prayers

Alexis