Returning Catholic

[beatr]

Fr. Joe,

I have a question about returning to the Catholic faith, or more
precisely, becoming a practicing Catholic as an adult.

I was baptized as Catholic soon after I was born, but I never received
Catholic education. That is, I never prepared for a First Communion,
never studied Catechism, etc. I attended Mass sporadically during my
life. But I always cherished the time when I was a child and attended
Mass with my grandmother, who was a devout Catholic. Unfortunately, my
parents did not put too much value in Catholic education, so my sister
and I received none.

Recently I have decided to enroll in a RCIA program in a local church.
The program will start next month if they have enough students. If
not, I may have to look for another church offering this program.
I am determined to complete Catholic education and receive the
Sacraments (somehow I have been feeling an internal call to do this,
and this feeling has been growing for the past year).

My question for you is: how should I proceed on the Sacrament of
Penance? I have never confessed my sins to a priest before, and I
don't know how to prepare for this. Should I prepare a list of sins,
should I cover my childhood, etc?
I appreciate if you can give me your thoughts on this.
Thank you.

[Father Joe]

First, non-catechized Catholics like you would indeed properly go
through the RCIA program although if there are few candidates some of
us do private instructions. The main thing is to get the religious
formation you need. Second, the parish catechists and clergy are
there to help you and will give you the required guidance. You have
already been baptized and you would have to go to Confession prior to
receiving Confirmation and Holy Communion at the Easter vigil (Holy
Saturday night). What do you know of the Sacrament of Penance? Some
candidates wait until the subject is covered in the instructions. The
parish may also want to record the date of your first Confession (some
places do and some don’t) so you will need to mention this to your
pastor. How do you proceed?

You must understand what the sacrament is about and how it works. You
can go face to face or kneel behind a screen. The sacrament has
important parts. You cross yourself in the name of the Father and of
the Son and of the Holy Spirit and tell the priest the last time you
went to Confession (in your case it is the first time). You then tell
the priest your sins. As best as you are able, you tell him any
mortal sins (most serious). You are not obliged to tell all venial
sins (lesser), but it is good to give a sampling of the ones which
most plague you. You can guess if you are not sure how many times a
certain sin was committed. Don’t go into a lot of detail, just
quickly list the sins. The priest may give some counsel, but usually
he quickly moves to giving the penitent a penance (usually certain
prayers to say). You would fulfill your penance after leaving the
confessional box or reconciliation room. After you have told your
sins and the penance is given, you say an act of contrition prayer.
Then the priest gives you absolution of your sins and finishes with a
prayer or blessing. You can give a sampling of the sins going back to
your childhood, but emphasize the more serious offenses. It is
preferable to confess sins from memory over writing lists. If you do
write down notes, please remember to destroy them. There is some
peril with written lists and I discourage them. Be thorough but
concise and to the point. There may be others needing to go to
Confession, too. After yours sins have been forgiven, put them behind
you. Remember, any sins you forget to confess will also be
forgiven.