Don't worry, good times are here.

[Fat-Pie NEWSLETTER]

What's this? 

It's the Fat-Pie newsletter steam train. This ride doesn't care for technology's advances; we're happy in the past. In the future people will revisit this technology nostalgically, but until then, we are in the uncanny zone of not quite outdated enough to be cool but not modern enough to be useful. If you're too young to even grasp the concept of what is happening here then let me break it down: It's like a really massive tweet that you get to take home with you. It's like a snapchat, but with no pictures and you get to read it again. It's like a meme, but I thought of it myself. Yes, back in the olden days, we thought of things ourselves.

I've already taken up too much of your day here. If I go on any longer, there is a danger you might remember some of this a few hours from now. That is counterproductive to our modern internet culture. Just stop and think about how much stuff you forget every day. That's the problem: too much to remember. 

On the subject of remembering things: Did you forget that I do a series called The News Hasn't Happened Yet ? Probably. In fact I already released this episode 5 months ago and quickly retracted it. Who knows why? You'll have to ask me in the past. I'm a completely different person now. I mean, of course I am. I regenerate daily. Every sleep brings a new me.

Let me refresh your memory: I put my face on things and make them say what I want them to say. Clever eh? Well it used to be, but you can get apps that do this in real time now. They don't make stupid satire with them though. I'm thinking I might go back to 2013, and this would have been really impressive. Anyway, it's the content that matters, not the concept. I hope.

All blabbering aside I might as well show you the bloody thing. It's here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkSoAE1bizs

I certainly didn't use a dedicated app to do this though. Those things work fine until you turn your head –we aren't quite there with the realtime tech. I painstakingly do it by hand (on After Effects). I wonder if I would still make these if it could be done really quickly? I think I am addicted to spending too long making things. The first Salad Fingers took me a single day to make. That's how it goes online: the more time it takes to make = the less likely people are to share it.

One time I searched online for "Skellow" (place near Doncaster) and found Google had accidentally associated a dirty image with the town (a naked man with a towel on his erect cock). I tweeted it and got recognition from the media. I had reporters ringing me up. I was in the Daily Mail and other well-known news sources. I had retweets from famous people. It still remains as possibly the most attention I have ever gotten and it took me less than a minute. I'm thinking I might pack in the animation and videos, and just concentrate on finding more towns that have been erroneously associated with pictures of erect penises. AI gave me that one. In the future AI will make all the comedy. I shit you not.

It's all good though. One day I will explode. 

Summary:

The News Hasn't Happened Yet 2- Clonka Minkus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkSoAE1bizs

(Previous episode) The News Hasn't Happened Yet 1- Andrew Tolvern https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4-t6bmh4Uc

The time I was in the news - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2722143/DON-T-Google-Skellow-Search-engine-results-Yorkshire-village-reveal-rude-image-semi-naked-man.html (The supposed quotes from me were pretty much made up. That's the news for you)

I'd like to give a really loud and uncomfortably long shouted-thanks to my Patreon supporters who make the world better. You can thank them when the fat-pie content starts coming in faster. Also you can be one of us and feel partly responsible for the good times.

https://www.patreon.com/davidfirth

Remember: there aren't many good times left, and at least 3 of them are RIGHT HERE on the Fat-Pie newsletter. Tell your uncles.