The News Hasn't Happened Yet!

[Fat-Pie NEWSLETTER]

Hey old school non-unsubscribers. I bet you have nothing better to read right now than my silky words of utter delight. Well I will keep it brief since it's getting harder to pay attention in this current age. 

I have made a new video. I know I don't make many and I bet some of you have completely forgotten who I am but trust me on this one, you still care. I can tell. I have made a new video. I bet some of you have actually died. I bet some of my faithful fatpieateers have actually died in the 12 years this list has been going. RIP. Let's take a moment to remember the fallen subscribers and hope there are ways to receive junkmail in heaven. I have made a video. It's really good. I put my face on some news footage and made it a bit silly, but at the same time satirizing how it feels to watch the news these days. You don't need me to tell you this. In fact, I feel it cheapens the piece. Make of it what you will. I was just having fun really. 

I am making some more episodes too, because they are fun to make and it takes some of the thicker people (not you guys but some of the dumb tits out there) a bit longer to get used to certain ideas - they need multiple examples. It might scramble the minds of some. If it were a bit broader and could easily be summed up in a few words then it might have gone viral but my stuff typically doesn't, because it's not as good as stuff like that woman laughing in the Chewbacca mask or Janet Jackson's boob falling out. One day I will get there.

I think the couple of paragraphs I wrote here to pad out the link make it worth it. Those bytesized bellends who only follow me on twitter don't get this kind of in-depth analysis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUD26D7dJX0

Don't unsubscribe because it will devalue the economy. And the only remaining good times can be found right here on the fat-pie newsletter.

See you in a couple of weeks when I am spamming the hell out of episode 2.

Thanks for reading.

xx David xx 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO