Fw: [Parenting ABC] Dare to Love 美國孩子、中國爹娘
M Chen
-----Original Message-----
From: Winnis Chiang
Sent: Tuesday, February 14, 2012 12:55 AM
To: mark chen
Subject: [Parenting ABC] Dare to Love
TIPS FROM PARENTING ABC
Winnis Chiang, M.A., LMFT
Volume VIII, Issue 2, February 2012
THIS ISSUE: Dare to Love
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Dear mark,
Welcome to another edition of newsletter from Parenting ABC. If you
prefer to read ONLY Chinese, check out Chinese articles (not
identical to the English newsletters) at
http://WinnisChiang.blogspot.com ... Otherwise, please read on.
美國孩子、中國爹娘 (中文网页请点此连接)
http://WinnisChiang.blogspot.com
Linspirational, Linsanity, Linstant Classic, Linderella. These are
some of the words people created after Jeremy Lin (age 23) led New
York Knicks to five winning games in a row by last Saturday night.
How could someone moved from the bench to superstardom in one week?
Even Jeremy said it surprised him.
Jeremy's parents came from Taiwan. Jeremy is an Asian American, an
American-Born Chinese (ABC). I'm writing this before Valentine's
Day to remind all couples and parents the importance of loving one
another and believing in each other. As moms and dads, the best
gifts for our children are being in love with God and with each
other. With love and encouragement, dreams do come true!
I am grateful to know the Lin family, served with Shirley at
church, and watched their three sons grow. My son and Jeremy's
older brother were in the same youth group, and they have all
played basketball together. As I shared last time, my son,
daughter-in-law, and grandchildren were in town since December 19.
Although James and I were away in Germany for 11 days and they had
to go to L.A. and other places, we made the best of our time
together. They departed Sunday afternoon. It might be two years
before I hug them again, but I have to let go and let them follow
God's plan.
The three Lin boys learned to manage their time so that they have
time to play basketball. Their dad has been a devoted NBA fan. He
played basketball with his kids after they finished their homework.
Through out Junior High and High School, in spite of his busy
academic and basketball schedule, Jeremy attended worship and youth
group, taught Sunday school, and served as a game leader at many of
our Vacation Bible School programs. His parents helped him pursue
his dreams while learning to manage his time and priority, building
up his character in faith.
In March 2009, per request of his mom, I asked you to vote for
Harvard University senior guard Jeremy Lin who was one of 11
finalists for the coveted Bob Cousy Collegiate Point Guard of the
Year Award.
At that time I wrote, "Whether Jeremy wins or not, keep praying for
him as a beloved child of God. Pray for him and other ABCs as they
pursue their passions and dreams that seem far-fetched for OBC
parents like us! Remember that God designs them and God has a
purpose for them. Pray for those who are discouraged and feeling
unworthy. Pray that they know God accepts them and loves them
unconditionally. Pray that they would walk with Christ daily and
trust in God no matter what happens because God has His will, His
way, and His timing."
Jeremy did not make the final six. In his "faith and fate"
interview, he was asked, "Did you ever think, as a child, that you
would be in this place, a top prospect for the NBA, in the running
for the Bob Cousy award, given annually to the best point guard in
the college game?"
Jeremy replied, "I didn't expect to play in college. Honestly, I
didn't know if I was going to be able to play in high school. I was
always one of the smallest guys. I went into high school at 5'3",
125 pounds, and every day I came home from practice asking my
parents if I would grow taller. So, physically, I was so far
behind. I was just trying to make the varsity team, let alone play
in college. I had no idea what God had in store for me. That's why
everyday, when I wake up and go to practice, I remind myself to be
grateful that I have been so blessed. I could try to take credit
for whatever success I've had, but honestly I see my basketball
career as a miracle. That puts things into perspective for me."
It seems that for nearly all of his basketball years, he has had to
prove some critics wrong and fight for the opportunity to prove
that he belongs.
In his senior year, he led his Palo Alto High School to win the
California Interscholastic (CIF) Division 2 state title. He made
the All-State First Team and was named the Northern California
Division Player of the Year. But he was not offered any
scholarships by Division One schools. In the end, he enrolled in
Harvard with a guaranteed spot on their basketball team. He
developed further, and in his last three years, made the All-Ivy
League First Team.
When he was undrafted in the 2010 NBA Draft, he was devastated.
Eventually, he signed as a free agent with Golden State Warriors
for the 2010-11 season, making news as the "first
Taiwanese-American who made the NBA." However, he did not play much
in the NBA. He was sent to play in the D-league. Pressure was on.
Whenever he played well, he was happy, when he did not play well,
he was unhappy. He realized he had lost the joy of playing!
In December, he was cut by the Warriors, then picked up and cut by
the Houston Rockets. Good thing he already did his soul-searching
and was determined to trust and rely on God. He wants to play
basketball to glorify God. As a child of God, he has nothing to
prove, nothing to lose. The pressure was lifted.
When he joined the New York Knicks, he sat on the bench. Jeremy
might not have the chance to play, let alone to start the game.
Opportunity arose, he took it, and the rest is history!
How could an Asian-American from Harvard played with and outdueled
Kobe Bryant in Madison Square Garden? How could he made the Knicks
into such a different team? Nothing is impossible with God. Let's
continue to pray for Jeremy that he will remain in Christ, moment
by moment. May the Lord bless millions of people through him.
As parents from overseas, we often want our kids to play it safe.
"Do this, don't do that." We operate from fear, not love. But if we
follow Christ and do His will, nothing is impossible. Our kids need
acceptance, truth, grace and love.
The most common ways of expressing love are called "Five Love
Languages" by author Gary Chapman. Each person has his or her own
dominant (primary and secondary) love language(s) among Words of
Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and
Gifts. Only when love is "spoken" through our particular language,
can we "click" with the sender and feel loved.
Emotional love tanks need to be refilled constantly. Every negative
interaction may cancel out 5-7 positive interactions. Do not get
upset when your kids say, "You don't love me!" Listen to their
feelings and show empathy. Try different ways to express your love
until they get it. There is a Chinese saying, "You will only
understand parental love when you parent your own child." We can
all hope that some day our kids will look back and understand our
love and sacrifice. However, why wait if you can love and feel
loved now? Be bold. Dare to love. Try a different love language
today!
"Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have
boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in
this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out
fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been
made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us."
(1 John 4:17-19)
Since 2006, I have led workshops annually at BASS (Bay Area Sunday
School). Our next convention is on March 1, 2 and 3, 2012 in Castro
Valley. The website at www.bassconvention.org has information on
general sessions and workshops. You could also listen to recordings
from previous years.
I am leading two workshops in Cantonese on Saturday, March 3, 2012:
1. "Making Your Good Marriage Great" in Room N11 from 8:00 to 9:15
AM.
2. "Parenting American-Born Chinese" in Room N11 from 2:15 to 3:30
PM.
As a gift to you, I have compiled some articles and videos that
Jeremy's mom sent me in the past in my Chinese article page
http://winnischiang.blogspot.com
Happy Valentine's Day and See You at BASS!
Winnis
For Chinese articles and English newsletter archive, go to:
http://winnischiang.blogspot.com
http://parentingabcnewsletterinenglish.blogspot.com
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Reprinting this Article and Contacting Winnis
You can use the articles from [Parenting ABC] as long as you
include a complete attribution and, whenever possible, a live link
to our website. Please notify Winnis where and when the material
will appear. The attribution should include this information:
Winnis Chiang, LMFT and founder of ParentingABC.com, specializes in
helping Mandarin and Cantonese speaking high-tech Christian parents
to get along with, enjoy, equip and influence their American born
Chinese children.
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