Our Visit to Xiaoqing's Family
Yao, Yiping
Dear F7er Friends,
(I am sorry for my belated email, for which I have been writing for a period of time.)
As indicated in my previous email, my wife and I were planning on visiting Xiaoqing’s family on Tuesday, January 1, 2013.
But, on December 30, 2012, Xiaoqing called me and we had to reschedule our visit to Monday, December 31, 2012, due to the incoming snow storm at the time.
So, we drove to Cincinnati on Monday morning, and arrived at Xiaoqing’s home around noon.
Only Xiaoqing was at home. The night before, Xiaoqing and Jessica had dinner at a friend’s home, and Jessica stayed there for their kids’ sleeping-over.
Xiaoqing’s house was adorned with Christmas decorations, inside and outside, as my wife first noticed. Xiaoqing told us that they did this every year in the past, so this year was no exception. Usually, Xiaoqing did the outside, and Guowei did the inside. This year, Xiaoqing did the outside just as before, but Jessica did the inside, since Jessica usually helped mom doing the inside decorations.
While my wife and I were walking into Xiaoqing’s home, one thing I paid the attention to was Guowei’s cremation urn. But I did not seem to see it. And Xiaoqing did not mention it either. This gave me some comfort, knowing that Xiaoqing is not seeing Guowei’s urn that may serve a reminder every day, as we all had initially worried when we first learned that Xiaoqing is going to keep it at their home. I also noticed that the “Getting Well Soon” balloon (we thought it was meant for Guowei) that was in a noticeable spot in the kitchen when we visited Xiaoqing’s home after Guowei’s service was moved to an unnoticeable corner on the floor of the dining room. I thought this was a good sign of Xiaoqing’s moving forward.
So, my wife and I sit down with Xiaoqing, and we started to talk. I had a few things in mind and meant to ask Xiaoqing:
1. Guowei’s Memorial Collection: I told Xiaoqing that we have collected all of the writings, poems, emails, and so on, from our classmates, and put them together into Guowei Memorial Collection, and want to save it for the permanent memory of Guowei. I asked what Xiaoqing thought about it, and Xiaoqing first thanked everyone, and he thought it is wonderful that we have such a big family with such close friends, and we all remember Guowei. Xiaoqing is also OK to put his eulogy in the Collection. I also told Xiaoqing that once we finish collecting, editing, and formatting, we will have him to take a look and to have the final words.
2. Guowei’s family, her mother and her sister: I asked Guowei’s mother and sister about their health and how they are doing. They are fine. I also told Xiaoqing that several classmates in China would like to visit Guowei’s mother and to give her support and comfort. I asked Xiaoqing what he thought about that. Xiaoqing thought that, right now, Guowei’s mother and sister are still in a very sad and grieving stage, and they need a sort of closure. So, anyone or anything that may remind them Guowei might upset them. So, now it may not be a proper time to visit them. Xiaoqing himself is going to visit them this coming spring (around February/March time frame) when the weather gets warm, and hopefully, he can bring some closure to Guowei’s family.
I also asked Xiaoqing’s parents, and how they are doing. They are fine as well.
After we talked for a while, Jessica called, and asked her dad to pick her up. So, I drove my wife and Xiaoqing to their friend’s house and picked Jessica up. Then we went to the Twin Dragon Chinese Buffet Restaurant, not far from their home, and the same restaurant that we went after Guowei’s service, for lunch. Xiaoqing’s family visited this restaurant quite often, and the owner of the restaurant is also in the same church as Xiaoqing family’s, and the church sometimes use the restaurant for gatherings. Jessica liked sushi. And we all cheered for Happy New Year.
After lunch, we went back to Xiaoqing’s home, and continued our talk.
Later that day, Xiaoqing and Jessica would go to friend’s place for the New Year’s Eve celebration, so my wife and I left at around 4, 5 o’clock, knowing that Xiaoqing and Jessica would not be alone and would be with friends.
All in all, my impression is that Xiaoqing (as well as Jessica) is gradually moving forward with their lives, and is doing quite well. We also talked about the differences between eastern and western cultures, especially in dealing with tragedies and grieving, and Xiaoqing told me that Jessica is raised as a Christian child, so, I think Jessica is doing very well, considering that Jessica had very close relationship with her mom, she is still a teenager who needs her mom dearly, and Guowei loved her deeply (my own observation as well, which I am also writing as part of the Memorial Collection). Xiaoqing is very grateful for everything from their church friends and from our Tsinghua friends. One thing Xiaoqing feels he is at peace is in knowing that Guowei was very very happy in the past few years of their family life together. Xiaoqing shared many of their pictures with us.
(Here I want to say sorry that I didn’t include or address to our S7er friends – including my previous update. I certainly would want to share with them about the status of Xiaoqing’s family. So, I will let you all to decide if we want to forward this email in its entity to S7ers or just a summary update. I am also sorry that I did not write this in Chinese. Sometimes, I feel that I am unable to express myself in either languages, English or Chinese. I may try Google translation later.)
Finally, here is a quote from a 2010 French movie, Sarah's Key, which has deeply engraved in my memory and I feel I would like to share with you all, although I’m not sure if everyone would feel it is proper:
This is the narrative from the beginning of the movie:
Sometimes our own stories are the ones we can never tell.
But if a story is never told, it becomes something else.
Forgotten.
And at the end of the movie:
When a story is told, it is not forgotten.
It becomes something else.
The memory of who we were. The hope of what we can become.
Thank you!
And my belated new year’s wish:
Happy New Year!
As well as my early Chinese new year’s wish:
Happy Chinese New Year!
Best,
Yiping Yao
Enterprise Services
Hewlett-Packard Company
Telephone: +1 614 823 4712
Mobile: +1 614 323 8958
Home: +1 614 733 0590
Email: yipin...@hp.com
975 Eastwind Drive, Suite 115
Westerville, OH 43081
USA
Please consider the environment before printing this email.
Xiaol...@csiro.au
Thanks Yiping for telling a beautiful story we won’t forget.
Xiaolin
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LIKE QIAN
js...@comcast.net
Many thanks for visiting the Huang family.
It is a beautiful story by itself.
Chiuping
From: "Yiping Yao" <yipin...@hp.com>
To: f7...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Monday, January 21, 2013 10:22:13 PM
Subject: Our Visit to Xiaoqing's Family
Cassy Hee
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Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2013 13:12:31 +0900
Subject: Re: Our Visit to Xiaoqing's Family
From: like04...@gmail.com
To: f7...@googlegroups.com
Dear F7er Friends,
(I am sorry for my belated email, for which I have been writing for a period of time.)
As indicated in my previous email, my wife and I were planning on visiting Xiaoqing��s family on Tuesday, January 1, 2013.
But, on December 30, 2012, Xiaoqing called me and we had to reschedule our visit to Monday, December 31, 2012, due to the incoming snow storm at the time.
So, we drove to Cincinnati on Monday morning, and arrived at Xiaoqing��s home around noon.
Only Xiaoqing was at home. The night before, Xiaoqing and Jessica had dinner at a friend��s home, and Jessica stayed there for their kids�� sleeping-over.
Xiaoqing��s house was adorned with Christmas decorations, inside and outside, as my wife first noticed. Xiaoqing told us that they did this every year in the past, so this year was no exception. Usually, Xiaoqing did the outside, and Guowei did the inside. This year, Xiaoqing did the outside just as before, but Jessica did the inside, since Jessica usually helped mom doing the inside decorations.
While my wife and I were walking into Xiaoqing��s home, one thing I paid the attention to was Guowei��s cremation urn. But I did not seem to see it. And Xiaoqing did not mention it either. This gave me some comfort, knowing that Xiaoqing is not seeing Guowei��s urn that may serve a reminder every day, as we all had initially worried when we first learned that Xiaoqing is going to keep it at their home. I also noticed that the ��Getting Well Soon�� balloon (we thought it was meant for Guowei) that was in a noticeable spot in the kitchen when we visited Xiaoqing��s home after Guowei��s service was moved to an unnoticeable corner on the floor of the dining room. I thought this was a good sign of Xiaoqing��s moving forward.
So, my wife and I sit down with Xiaoqing, and we started to talk. I had a few things in mind and meant to ask Xiaoqing:
1. Guowei��s Memorial Collection: I told Xiaoqing that we have collected all of the writings, poems, emails, and so on, from our classmates, and put them together into Guowei Memorial Collection, and want to save it for the permanent memory of Guowei. I asked what Xiaoqing thought about it, and Xiaoqing first thanked everyone, and he thought it is wonderful that we have such a big family with such close friends, and we all remember Guowei. Xiaoqing is also OK to put his eulogy in the Collection. I also told Xiaoqing that once we finish collecting, editing, and formatting, we will have him to take a look and to have the final words.
2. Guowei��s family, her mother and her sister: I asked Guowei��s mother and sister about their health and how they are doing. They are fine. I also told Xiaoqing that several classmates in China would like to visit Guowei��s mother and to give her support and comfort. I asked Xiaoqing what he thought about that. Xiaoqing thought that, right now, Guowei��s mother and sister are still in a very sad and grieving stage, and they need a sort of closure. So, anyone or anything that may remind them Guowei might upset them. So, now it may not be a proper time to visit them. Xiaoqing himself is going to visit them this coming spring (around February/March time frame) when the weather gets warm, and hopefully, he can bring some closure to Guowei��s family.
I also asked Xiaoqing��s parents, and how they are doing. They are fine as well.
After we talked for a while, Jessica called, and asked her dad to pick her up. So, I drove my wife and Xiaoqing to their friend��s house and picked Jessica up. Then we went to the Twin Dragon Chinese Buffet Restaurant, not far from their home, and the same restaurant that we went after Guowei��s service, for lunch. Xiaoqing��s family visited this restaurant quite often, and the owner of the restaurant is also in the same church as Xiaoqing family��s, and the church sometimes use the restaurant for gatherings. Jessica liked sushi. And we all cheered for Happy New Year.
After lunch, we went back to Xiaoqing��s home, and continued our talk.
Later that day, Xiaoqing and Jessica would go to friend��s place for the New Year��s Eve celebration, so my wife and I left at around 4, 5 o��clock, knowing that Xiaoqing and Jessica would not be alone and would be with friends.
All in all, my impression is that Xiaoqing (as well as Jessica) is gradually moving forward with their lives, and is doing quite well. We also talked about the differences between eastern and western cultures, especially in dealing with tragedies and grieving, and Xiaoqing told me that Jessica is raised as a Christian child, so, I think Jessica is doing very well, considering that Jessica had very close relationship with her mom, she is still a teenager who needs her mom dearly, and Guowei loved her deeply (my own observation as well, which I am also writing as part of the Memorial Collection). Xiaoqing is very grateful for everything from their church friends and from our Tsinghua friends. One thing Xiaoqing feels he is at peace is in knowing that Guowei was very very happy in the past few years of their family life together. Xiaoqing shared many of their pictures with us.
(Here I want to say sorry that I didn��t include or address to our S7er friends �C including my previous update. I certainly would want to share with them about the status of Xiaoqing��s family. So, I will let you all to decide if we want to forward this email in its entity to S7ers or just a summary update. I am also sorry that I did not write this in Chinese. Sometimes, I feel that I am unable to express myself in either languages, English or Chinese. I may try Google translation later.)
Ruixin Yang
Thank you for the detailed story.
I think it is proper to and should share the story with our S7 friends.
Yiwu, Meng, Xiaoyu and Qingping, I think you have no less accurate judgement than me to decide what
to share between us. So please feel free to take actions.
-- Regards! --Ruixin
--
Jinhui Huang
Sent from my iPad
Please consider the environment before printing this email.
--
翁惠芳
首先感谢一平的努力，让我们知晓晓晴的近况，随着时间的推移，晓晴会慢慢走出来的！
昨天，学校放假了，我又去看了一次陈达卫，他还是住在母亲家里，也见到了他80多岁的老母亲，2个孩子也由于放假了，都在家里，我是和他爱人约好的，所以也在家。家里现在用了一个保姆，所以家里的一般事宜就可有保姆打理了。没有和他爱人约好，我是不敢去的，因为他已经不能为你开门了，走路都要有人搀扶，还颤颤巍巍的。年底的时候由于起不了床了，所以又一次住院，到元旦以后才出院，家里也不惜金钱，用最新最好的药延长他的生命，现在每天用一种瑞士出产的药，名字我也记不得，有定点靶向的作用，一粒药就是660元，他爱人说，似乎有点作用，现在能起床了，坐在轮椅上，我这次看到他，感觉不如上次，更老态了，而且脸上都发了很多东西，他爱人说是吃这个药的副作用，据说越是有副作用说明疗效更好。
看到他，感觉很悲哀，他是从血液指标显示不正常开始追踪癌症，到底是哪部分的癌症现在都说不准，就是反复的化疗放疗，开始说肺部，后又说是脑部，但经过开刀等治疗，指标仍然异常，其实一开始，他个人并没有什么不舒服的感觉，就是单位体检查出血液指标有问题。因为他爱人是医生，比较重视。我设想如果是一个后知后觉的人，只要自己能吃能睡，感觉精气神尚可，不去治疗，不去接受开刀伤元气，不去做那么多的放化疗杀死自己健康的细胞，也许还糊里糊涂的快乐活着，当然，这是我的一种假设，我不太相信医院，我相信我自己对身体的感觉。
我向他传达了同学们的问候，他也再三感谢大家对他的帮助，他爱人一直说叫我组织在上海的同学聚会，他们来请客，我说今后有同学路过上海，有机会我会陪他们来的，我说同学都很关心他，又组织了部分捐款，给他们家助一臂之力，过一个愉快的春节。所以，春节前，我会在陈达卫账户上再汇出一笔钱，向大家汇报一下。
我给陈达卫和女儿们拍了一张照片，见附件，女儿今年读小学四年级了。
翁惠芳
---------- Origin message ----------
>From："LIKE QIAN" <like04...@gmail.com>
>To：f7...@googlegroups.com
>Subject：Re: Our Visit to Xiaoqing's Family
谢谢一平的真诚，细心和努力。很高兴听到晓晴的最新消息。
力克
2013/1/22 Yao, Yiping <yipin...@hp.com>
> Dear F7er Friends,****
>
> ** **
>
> (I am sorry for my belated email, for which I have been writing for a
>
> ** **
>
> As indicated in my previous email, my wife and I were planning on visiting
>
> ** **
>
> But, on December 30, 2012, Xiaoqing called me and we had to reschedule our
> visit to Monday, December 31, 2012, due to the incoming snow storm at the
>
> ** **
>
> So, we drove to Cincinnati on Monday morning, and arrived at Xiaoqing’s
>
> ** **
>
> Only Xiaoqing was at home. The night before, Xiaoqing and Jessica had
> dinner at a friend’s home, and Jessica stayed there for their kids’
>
> ** **
>
> Xiaoqing’s house was adorned with Christmas decorations, inside and
> outside, as my wife first noticed. Xiaoqing told us that they did this
> every year in the past, so this year was no exception. Usually, Xiaoqing
> did the outside, and Guowei did the inside. This year, Xiaoqing did the
> outside just as before, but Jessica did the inside, since Jessica usually
>
> ** **
>
> While my wife and I were walking into Xiaoqing’s home, one thing I paid
> the attention to was Guowei’s cremation urn. But I did not seem to see it.
> And Xiaoqing did not mention it either. This gave me some comfort, knowing
> that Xiaoqing is not seeing Guowei’s urn that may serve a reminder every
> day, as we all had initially worried when we first learned that Xiaoqing is
> going to keep it at their home. I also noticed that the “Getting Well Soon”
> balloon (we thought it was meant for Guowei) that was in a noticeable spot
> in the kitchen when we visited Xiaoqing’s home after Guowei’s service was
> moved to an unnoticeable corner on the floor of the dining room. I thought
>
> ** **
>
> So, my wife and I sit down with Xiaoqing, and we started to talk. I had a
>
> ** **
>
> 1. Guowei’s Memorial Collection: I told Xiaoqing that we have collected
> all of the writings, poems, emails, and so on, from our classmates, and put
> them together into Guowei Memorial Collection, and want to save it for the
> permanent memory of Guowei. I asked what Xiaoqing thought about it, and
> Xiaoqing first thanked everyone, and he thought it is wonderful that we
> have such a big family with such close friends, and we all remember Guowei.
> Xiaoqing is also OK to put his eulogy in the Collection. I also told
> Xiaoqing that once we finish collecting, editing, and formatting, we will
>
> ** **
>
> 2. Guowei’s family, her mother and her sister: I asked Guowei’s mother and
> sister about their health and how they are doing. They are fine. I also
> told Xiaoqing that several classmates in China would like to visit Guowei’s
> mother and to give her support and comfort. I asked Xiaoqing what he
> thought about that. Xiaoqing thought that, right now, Guowei’s mother and
> sister are still in a very sad and grieving stage, and they need a sort of
> closure. So, anyone or anything that may remind them Guowei might upset
> them. So, now it may not be a proper time to visit them. Xiaoqing himself
> is going to visit them this coming spring (around February/March time
> frame) when the weather gets warm, and hopefully, he can bring some closure
>
> ** **
>
> I also asked Xiaoqing’s parents, and how they are doing. They are fine as
>
> ** **
>
> After we talked for a while, Jessica called, and asked her dad to pick her
> up. So, I drove my wife and Xiaoqing to their friend’s house and picked
> Jessica up. Then we went to the Twin Dragon Chinese Buffet Restaurant, not
> far from their home, and the same restaurant that we went after Guowei’s
> service, for lunch. Xiaoqing’s family visited this restaurant quite often,
> and the owner of the restaurant is also in the same church as Xiaoqing
> family’s, and the church sometimes use the restaurant for gatherings.
>
> ** **
>
> After lunch, we went back to Xiaoqing’s home, and continued our talk.****
>
> ** **
>
> Later that day, Xiaoqing and Jessica would go to friend’s place for the
> New Year’s Eve celebration, so my wife and I left at around 4, 5 o’clock,
> knowing that Xiaoqing and Jessica would not be alone and would be with
>
> ** **
>
> All in all, my impression is that Xiaoqing (as well as Jessica) is
> gradually moving forward with their lives, and is doing quite well. We also
> talked about the differences between eastern and western cultures,
> especially in dealing with tragedies and grieving, and Xiaoqing told me
> that Jessica is raised as a Christian child, so, I think Jessica is doing
> very well, considering that Jessica had very close relationship with her
> mom, she is still a teenager who needs her mom dearly, and Guowei loved her
> deeply (my own observation as well, which I am also writing as part of the
> Memorial Collection). Xiaoqing is very grateful for everything from their
> church friends and from our Tsinghua friends. One thing Xiaoqing feels he
> is at peace is in knowing that Guowei was very very happy in the past few
> years of their family life together. Xiaoqing shared many of their pictures
>
> ** **
>
> (Here I want to say sorry that I didn’t include or address to our S7er
> friends – including my previous update. I certainly would want to share
> with them about the status of Xiaoqing’s family. So, I will let you all to
> decide if we want to forward this email in its entity to S7ers or just a
> summary update. I am also sorry that I did not write this in Chinese.
> Sometimes, I feel that I am unable to express myself in either languages,
>
> ** **
>
> Finally, here is a quote from a 2010 French movie, Sarah's Key, which has
> deeply engraved in my memory and I feel I would like to share with you all,
>
> ** **
>
> This is the narrative from the beginning of the movie:****
>
> ** **
>
> Sometimes our own stories are the ones we can never tell.****
>
> ** **
>
> But if a story is never told, it becomes something else.****
>
> ** **
>
> Forgotten.****
>
> ** **
>
> And at the end of the movie:****
>
> ** **
>
> When a story is told, it is not forgotten.****
>
> ** **
>
> It becomes something else.****
>
> ** **
>
> The memory of who we were. The hope of what we can become.****
>
> ** **
>
> Thank you!****
>
> ** **
>
> And my belated new year’s wish:****
>
> ** **
>
> Happy New Year!****
>
> ** **
>
> As well as my early Chinese new year’s wish:****
>
> ** **
>
> Happy Chinese New Year!****
>
> ** **
>
> Best,****
>
> ** **
>
> Yiping Yao
> Enterprise Services**** > Mobile: +1 614 323 8958**** > Email: yipin...@hp.com****
>
> ** **
>
> 975 Eastwind Drive, Suite 115
> Westerville, OH 43081
> USA
>
>
> Please consider the environment before printing this email.****
>
> ** **
冯振宇
你好！感谢你代表大家去看望老陈。在慰问和帮助老陈的问题上，我完全同意你的所有决定。如果还有什么新建议请提出来，大家可以一起讨论决定。看到老陈现在的情况，一是衷心祝福老陈能在和病魔做斗争的路上不断取得好的进展，二是祝福大家身体康健，开心快乐，都有一个幸福的晚年！
冯振宇
2013.01.25
---------- Origin message ----------
>From："翁惠芳" <hfw...@ecust.edu.cn>
>To：f7...@googlegroups.com
>Subject：Re:Re: Our Visit to Xiaoqing's Family
>Date：2013-01-25 13:49:58
js...@comcast.net
真感谢访问! 我看到了照片。担心。诉我该怎么做有帮助.
希望老陈靠内在的力量变得更强。
老冯是非常正确的。大家幸福的晚年.
Cassy Hee
Date: Sun, 27 Jan 2013 18:52:32 -0800
From: yuanh...@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Solid77 FW: Our Visit to Xiaoqing's Family
To: yipin...@hp.com; cass...@hotmail.com
To: sol...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Saturday, January 26, 2013 3:10 PM
Subject: Solid77 FW: Our Visit to Xiaoqing's Family
Yiping just visited Xiaoqing for us recently. I am forwarding his email to share the news about Xiaoqing I know you care a lot of.
We are very lucy to have S7ers as our dear brothers and sisters, and be able to share our happiness and tragedy as a big family!
Yiping wrote a nice story, by which I am deeply moved!
Best wishes for New Year for all of you!!!
Xiaoyu
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