Fairly Universal Nonsense for November 06, 2008

[J NA]

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as
stray eyebrows.
- Janette Barber
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"One of our co-workers went missing for a few hours, and we
tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found
him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a
note on the man's chest...

"As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as
soon as you wake up, you're fired!"
-------------------------------------------------

A young college girl came running in tears to her father.
"Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she
cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that
big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks
in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of
my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
-----------------------------------------------

A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity.
Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the
wind direction and speed--driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long?
Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the
clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man, you'll never hit her from here!"
--------------------------

A day without sunshine is like, night.


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