Fairly Universal Nonsense for October 22, 2006

[J NA]

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being
called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to
prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or
something?"

The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up
for two weeks studying.

The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde
comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a
dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!"

The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He
says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?"

The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy!
It's M!"
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 Say, Joe," a man said to his friend, "how do you like your new job?"
"It's the worst job I have ever had." "How long have you been there?" asked his buddy.
"About three months." Said Joe. "Why don't you quit?" said his friend.
"No way. This is the fist time in 25 years that I have looked forward to going home after work.'
---------------------------------------------

"Did you have trouble at the airport this week? I had to
throw away all my make-up. They said it's because of this
terrorist plot they foiled over in England. I believe
it's an elaborate ruse perpetrated by the big cosmetics
industry. Maybe it's not terrorism. Maybe it's Maybelline."
 --Jimmy Kimmel
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The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water
mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on,
you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of
fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and
cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered
corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
----------------------------------------------------

Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grand-
father about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000
Leagues Under the Sea."

The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept
him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband in-
terrupted Mark, "What made the submarine sink, was it the
octopus?"

With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "No, Grampa, it was
the 20,000 leaks!"

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