FUN Newsletter for October 13, 2008

[J NA]

"I had surgery this year. Nothing serious, thank God. But
just before I went under I heard the one thing you don't
want to hear, 'Where's my lucky scalpel?'" --Jonathan Ketz
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Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the
expenses that came with it, my brother Dustin was complaining
about the high cost of auto insurance. "If you got married,"
teased my dad, "the premium would be lower."

Dustin smiled. "That would be like buying an airline just to
get free peanuts."
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An elderly lady goes into the doctor and tells him - "Doctor, I don't know what the problem is, but I've been farting all the time. It's not really a problem socially because they don't make any noise and don't smell. I just can't stop farting all the time. In fact while I've been in here I must have farted at least 20 times."

The doctor nods and gives her some pills. "Here take these for two weeks and come see me again when you are done."

So she takes the pills and returns two weeks later as instructed. Infuriated, she confronted the doctor. "What kind of medicine is this? I'm still farting just as much? They still don't make any noise, but now they stink terribly!"

The doctor nodded, "It's alright, now that we have your sinus' cleared up, we'll work on your hearing next!"
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Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all
excited about their decision to get married. They go for a
stroll to discuss the wedding. On the way they pass a
drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the
owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes, Sir."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart
medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol,
antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."

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