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EYE ON: Those special Church ladies

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eye WEEKLY

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Oct 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM10/9/96
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eye WEEKLY October 10, 1996
Toronto's arts newspaper .....free every Thursday
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NEWS & VIEWS NEWS & VIEWS

THOSE SPECIAL CHURCH LADIES

by
DOUGLAS WHITE

I wish fat socialist lesbians who hate men would fuck off and keep
their big fat mouths shut and mind their own business.

I'm sick and tired of these people yapping at me when I'm out with my
dog.

"Don't you realize dogs are not allowed in here?"

Another favorite is: "Don't you think it's a little hot (or cold) for
your dog today?"

Or how about: "I hope you're planning on cleaning that up..."
Meanwhile, I'm standing behind the dog waiting for the shit to come
out with a plastic bag on my hand.

Who do these fucking bitches think they are? This morning I was in my
garden, weeding, with the radio going, when an FSL (Fat Socialist
Lesbian) came over to where I was working.

"I can hear that radio in my apartment," she said.

I said, "I'll turn it down."

She said, "You'll turn it off."

This afternoon I was riding my motorcycle. I stopped for a moment and
an FSL walked past and said: "You are polluting the air," and walked
away.

I've been told the same thing while driving around in my small pick-up
truck.

Yesterday I was walking past the 519 community centre. My dog refused
to follow me, so I yanked on his leash. Immediately an FSL walked up
from behind me, saying: "Child abuse is a crime... so is dog abuse."

What is it with these people? What makes you think I want to hear your
bullshit? Who gave you permission to judge my actions? Were you abused
as children? Why don't you get some counselling and get off my back!

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