disinhibition biofeedback training

[kurokawa8]

I was practicing my near-infrared hemoencephalography (basically using an electronic headband to show the amount of bloodflow in my frontal lobes on my computer screen in real time, and then using my force of will to increase the bloodflow in my frontal lobes AKA biofeedback AKA exercising my brain) when I happened to be quite drunk.  I have been practicing for sixteen years and I have never tried it drunk.

My results were astounding.  I was able to increase bloodflow to my frontal lobes by massive amounts I was never able to get before.  Clearly it was disinhibition.

In consequent nIR HEG sessions I remembered what the disinhibition felt like even though I was sober and I was able to use that memory to increase the blood flow substantially.   Eventually I realized not only was I using biofeedback to increase bloodflow to my frontal lobes, but I was also training myself in disinhibition!  <--!!!  learning disinhibition!!!

Inhibition has been the major stumbling block in my EMDR sessions.  When I do EMDR the inhibition is so intense I retch and gag after only a few minutes.  I definitely feel like EMDR hurts me and serves only to reinforce my primal repression.

I intend to slowly and carefully pair vodka with HEG to learn disinhibition and eventually pair it with EMDR.  Hopefully I can finally reach the mountain I've been climbing to experience what I call "flavor"-that exact thing I see in others I don't see in me.  Maybe a better word would be affect.  Sorry I just don't seem to have the words to describe it.  That was a joke.

After my trip this winter I will begin with the training.  On top of all this I'm also arranged to work with a sexual surrogate along with a therapist from IPSA.  I'll report next year.  Wish me luck.