Fwd: Tony's BIG Adventure : A True Love Story

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Paul Mracek

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Mar 21, 2025, 1:09:02 PM3/21/25
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A classic love story.  Happy birthday Tony!! 



---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Stephen Goas <stephe...@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 23, 2013 at 2:52 PM
Subject: Re: Tony's BIG Adventure : A True Love Story
To: brosbr...@googlegroups.com <brosbr...@googlegroups.com>
CC: brosbr...@googlegroups.com <brosbr...@googlegroups.com>, Daniel Barnett <dlba...@gmail.com>, Jack Peard <jack...@gmail.com>, JAMES HOWARD III <bi...@billyhoward.net>, hjad...@gmail.com <hjad...@gmail.com>, andrew.s...@gmail.com <andrew.s...@gmail.com>, Cole Scott <csco...@gmail.com>


This is hands down the best email I have ever read.

Stephen Goss
Sales Engineer
Filtrex Corporation 
806 Race Rd
Baltimore, MD 21221

On Mar 23, 2013, at 2:24 PM, Paul Mracek <pmr...@gmail.com> wrote:

Tony's BIG Adventure : A True Love Story

Cast (in order of appearance)
  • Paul
  • Mandy
  • Hunter
  • Emily
  • Tony
ACT I : Missing In Action

Scene: In Paul's apartment.  Out of breath, Paul wipes mouth after eating Mandy's Fourth Meal.

***RING*** Caller ID : Hunter ***RING***

Hunter, to Paul : Hey man, Emily is freaking out.  I can't understand a word she's saying, and it would take me 30 minutes to hop a cab back to the apartment.  Can you go help her out?

Paul : Sho 'nuff.  Actually, looks like she's calling me now.

***RING*** Caller ID : Emily ***RING***

Emily, to Paul : Oh my god, Tony ran away!  We were so close to the apartment, then he just ran off and I can't find him!  He's probably passed out in a bush somewhere.  I took his phone and wallet from him at the bar so he wouldn't lose them, and that's totally fucking backfiring right now.

Paul: Take a deep breath, I'll be over in a minute. (hangs up phone)

Paul, to Mandy (putting on his clothes) : I'll be back in a minute.  

Mandy (drunk from euphoria and tequila) : No don't leave me alone in this apartment! 

Paul : Ok, put some clothes on, but you have to promise me you don't get lost.  That's the last thing I need.

END SCENE

ACT II : Kissing Concrete

Scene: Paul and Mandy cross the street to see a PISSED Emily walking out of the gate.

Emily : What the fuck!  I dragged his ass out of the cab, I go to open the apartment door, and I turn around and he's gone!  God damnit, after everything I did for him to make this birthday special!

Paul : We'll find him, don't worry.  You say he's so drunk you had to wake him up to get out of the cab?  Sorry, that's probably my fault with the delicious tequila and cinnamon orange shots.  

Emily : Yeah, he's wasted but its not your fault.  I really think it was Billy at the bar feeding him shots.

Paul : Well, he hasn't quite mastered the use of his opposable thumbs, being an early descendent of primates and all. Its safe to say he can't figure out how to work a latch to get out of the apartment gate, no?

Emily : That makes sense.

Paul : Let's focus our search inside the gates to start.

Emily : Ok, we got out of the cab here.  And you can see he's not in any of these bushes.  Follow me, let's go look on the other side of the apartment by the pool.

Emily leads the search party past the apartment, down and around a few sets of steps.

Emily : OH MY GOD! Is that him passed out up there on that sidewalk? [points to a walkway that is approximately 10 stairs above the group] 

Group runs to the lifeless corpse

END SCENE

ACT III : To the Boudoir!

Scene : The group has identified the sack of shit as Tony.  He has yet to move since the group arrived.

Emily (repeatedly, open palm smacking Tony in the face) : Wake up you asshole!  We gotta get you in the apartment!

Mandy : He's out cold.  Maybe we should carry him.  Emily, you grab that leg, I'll grab this one, and Paul can grab his arms.

Paul : Fuck man, we've got like, 15 steps to carry him down.  But yeah, you're right.

Team takes their positions.  They heave the 220 pound sack of potatoes into the air and stumble forward 3 feet.  Emily saves his head from crashing into the concrete path.

Paul : Jesus this is going to take forever.  And we still have to go down 10 stairs and then up another 5?  Fuck us.  Here, let me reposition myself (wrap my arms around Tony's chest and clasp my fists together.  Team lurches down the first 2 or 3 stairs.)  Ok, this is working better.

Halfway down the steps, the limp figure starts to stir.

Tony : Grrrawhataresfdjfkjsdoingzxcvzxxletmegoasdjafkajimnotgoingzxccz (attempts to stand up)

Paul : Great, you're up buddy!  Keep walking with me.

Paul continues to hoist 70% of Tony's body weight upright with his arms around his chest, but at least his legs are kind of standing up.  Mandy and Emily walk alongside steadying the pair.  They struggle down the last few stairs to a flat walkway.

The body goes limp again, almost causing Paul to drop him, but the two remain standing, Paul holding up 100% of his weight.  

Tony : EMILY!  Suck my dick!  Now, do it!  Suck my dick damnit! 

Emily : Shut the fuck up, I'm not doing that.

Tony (unzips pants) 

Mandy : Oh my god, he pulled his penis out!

Tony : Seriously, I'm not fucking going anywhere til you suck my dick!

Emily : God damnit Tony, you piece of shit.

Emily is exasperated.  She knows what she must do.  The group is fatigued from carrying Tony around, and this is the best way to keep him awake.

Emily kneels in front of Tony.  Tony moans.  Paul is unsure if its a blessing or a curse that he can't see anything from his position holding Tony upright from behind.

Tony : Oh yeah, suck it! (legs becoming a little more steady underneath himself)

Emily stands up after 5 to 10 seconds.  

Tony : What are you doing?  Keep sucking, damnit!

Emily (sensing the opportunity of the night) : You gotta chase me before I go any further!

Emily runs up ahead to the next set of stairs, then turns back to taunt Tony.

Emily : Come and get it big boy!

Tony, with renewed vitality, starts stumbling forward.  His motor skills are that of an overgrown 4 year old with his dick in his hand.  Paul must still hold him upright and harness the energy that the stallion is producing and guide it in the right direction.  The duo make it up the same stairs Emily was atop.

Emily (spanking her butt 10 feet in front of them, almost to the apartment door) : Ohh baby, take me to the bedroom!

Tony is running and grunting at full bore.  He easily drags Paul past the threshold of the apartment door, and into his bedroom.

Paul : Hey Emily, I'm just going to try and throw him on the bed and you can let him pass the fuck out.

Tony's bed is waist high.  Paul walks him over to it and is about to push Tony onto it.

Tony : Come here babe. give me what I deserve! (in 1 deft movement, slides both his jeans and his underwear down to his ankles)

Paul, still holding Tony upright, peers downward and sees Tony's bare ass inches away from his crotch.

Paul : Hahahahahahahahhah, Emily, he's all yours.  My job here is done!

END SCENE
CURTAINS

Epilogue

As the title says, this is a true story in all its glory.  Some dialogue re-created to the best of my ability, but this is exactly how it went down.  

Quoth Emily this morning, "much persuasion," indeed!  She is such a champ, Tony. You better not fuck that up before the wedding despite your best efforts last night.

Attached you can see the aftermath from Andrew's phone.

--
Paul Mracek

1415 Brookhaven Circle
Atlanta, GA 30319

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