Generation Gap
Diesel Dan
YOU'RE LOST BETWEEN A BABY BOOMER AND A GEN X'ER IF...
You remember when Jordache jeans were cool
In your fifth grade class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with
the collar up
You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song
The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories
You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"
Three words: Atari, IntelliVision and Coleco, sound familiar
You remember the days when "safe sex" meant that your parents were
gone for
the weekend
You remember Friday Night Videos before the days of MTV
A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid
While in high school, you and your friends discussed elaborate plans
to
get together again at the end of the century and play Prince's "1999"
until you passed out partying
You remember when music that was labeled alternative, really was.
You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan
You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars
behind
you
You've ever conversationally used the phrase, "Jane, you ignorant
slut!"
You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you
really understand that it would have been much better had you known
about drugs at the time
You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the
following phases:
When I was younger...
When I was your age...
You know, back when...
Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the
English language.
You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing.
You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran,
Madonna or Cyndi Lauper video
The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during "Crazy
for
You," by Madonna
You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the
streets and made your old Big Wheel quite obsolete.
The phrase "Where's the beef," still doubles you over with laughter.
You honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever
possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON
Your hair at some point in time in the 80's became something which can
only be described by the phrase, "I was experimenting"
This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life:
Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the
creatures are WAY cool.
Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and
you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the
characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there.
Return of the Jedi hits the theaters, you are now a teenager and you
cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts or Han
Solo's butt.
You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the
last five years, okay
You're starting to believe now that maybe having the kids go to school
year round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all
You're doing absolutely nothing pertaining to your major
You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon
U2 is too popular and mainstream for you now
You ever used the phrase "Kiss mah grits!" in conversation
You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the
first scene
You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or
Wonder
Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man
You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding on General
Hospital
You remember, "Hey, let's be careful out there."
You're parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it
was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway
You know who shot JR
This rings a bell: "...and my name is Charlie. They work for me."
You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on after all
You know all the words to the double album set of Grease
You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut
You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed 867-5309 and
asked for Jenny
All skate, change directions, means something to you
You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear
You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history
class
so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High
You owned a preppy handbook
You can clap along to "Mickey" with the best of them.
The cop, the sailor, the biker, the cowboy, the Indian, and the
construction worker.
You remember when leg warmers were the thing to wear.
Some of your favorite commercials involved Count Chocula,
Frankenberry,
and Boo-Berry.
You tried dancing like the gopher on CADDYSHACK.
"Come On Eileen" will always have a place in your heart.
You remember cigarette commercials on TV.
You can relate to most outfits worn on American Bandstand reruns.
You can name at least 6 Superfriends.
"PUPPY POWER!!" means something to you.
You always wondered why the professor could make a damn car with
bamboo,
but he could never build a boat to get them off the island.
You know by heart the theme songs to "Happy Days", "Laverne and
Shirley", and "Three's Company"
You get fond memories watching "Muppet Show" reruns.
You remember Michael Jackson as a black man.
Parachute pants
You needed one glove just like Michael.
One word - breakdancing.
You remember running around outside, pointing up in the sky, yelling
"Da
plane, da plane!!"
You could never believe the things you saw on "That's Incredible".
You know at least 10 Helen Keller jokes.
You were too young to go see the Blue Lagoon so you just had to settle
for second hand reports
You remember when there was only PG and R none of this PG-13 crap
You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry
the emotional scars to this day
You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch
You actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on "In Search
Of..."
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those brick sized
packages
of Bazooka gum
Bo and Luke Duke
VCRs cost $2,000
There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together
Rotary dial telephones
You actually believed that Mikey, famed for his Life cereal
commercials, died after eating a packet of pop rocks and
drinking a Coke
The theme song to Greatest American Hero still comes back to you on
occasion
"Bueler? Bueler?"
Diesel
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