Refugees!
K H Petteri Bergius
countries, I would like to start a thread on refugee-related jokes.
Two Somali refugees were given a job as a van drivers for a bakery.
Unaccustomed to icy finnish roads they drove off the road to a field.
The van was full of chockolate muffins, which were spread to the field.
Two Finnish farmers drove by. They stopped their car when they saw the accident
and the two Somalis lying outside the van.
Suddenly one of the farmers run to the field and started to crush the
muffins under his feet. The other farmer asked: 'What the hell you are doing?'
The first farmer answered hastily: 'Come and help me before more of them hatch!'
Hans Peter Verne
> As Europe has received recently a number of refugees from most peculiar
> countries, I would like to start a thread on refugee-related jokes.
[joke deleted]
Your joke reminded me of this one. Originally told me about
a pakistani, but most any third-worldian will do... :
This pakistani has just gotten a job as a bus driver. His boss
tells him that he also has to sell tickets to the passengers.
The pakistani protests: Back home there is always someone else
on the bus selling the tickets! But to now avail, if he wants
the job, he must also sell tickets.
First day on work, and at 9.30 in the morning the pakistani
calls his boss: "Boss, that buss is run of the road, all wreck !!"
The boss asks how that happened. Pakistani: "Me not know, boss,
me be in back of buss selling tickets..."
Hugs,
--
Hans Peter Verne ( h...@kelvin.uio.no )
Dept. of Chemistry, University of Oslo.
`It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,
have you thought of going into teaching?' -- Terry Pratchett, "Mort"
Jan Dockx
Verne) wrote:
The difference, my friend, is that the original poster was laughing with
narrow-minded people. You're joke is racist, and not peculiarly funny
either.
I would apprciate it if this thread would keep up to reasonable ethical
standards.
Objoke:
Q: What is a New Zealander with more than 2 girlfriens?
A: A sheperd.
(sic: F.Z. in "Funny, the Movie")
--
Jan Dockx (Jan....@cs.kuleuven.ac.be)
K.U.Leuven; Department of Computer Sciences
Celestijnenlaan 200A / L00.10
3001 Heverlee
Belgium
tel.: 32/16/20 10 15 x3596
============================================
Wisdom is not beauty ...
Adrian Hurt
>In article <HPV.93Oc...@kelvin.uio.no>, h...@kelvin.uio.no (Hans Peter
>Verne) wrote:
>> In article <28vfq4$q...@kruuna.Helsinki.FI> ber...@kruuna.Helsinki.FI (K H Petteri Bergius) writes:
>>
>> > As Europe has received recently a number of refugees from most peculiar
>> > countries, I would like to start a thread on refugee-related jokes.
>>
>> [joke deleted]
>>
>> Your joke reminded me of this one. Originally told me about
>> a pakistani, but most any third-worldian will do... :
>
>The difference, my friend, is that the original poster was laughing with
>narrow-minded people. You're joke is racist, and not peculiarly funny
>either.
>I would apprciate it if this thread would keep up to reasonable ethical
>standards.
>
>Objoke:
>Q: What is a New Zealander with more than 2 girlfriens?
>
>A: A sheperd.
Your joke is racist, and not particularly funny either. I would appreciate
it if this thread would keep up to reasonable ethical standards.
My turn:
Two people in Britain were discussing their forthcoming holiday. One said
"I'm going to be driving over to France".
The other said "How are you going to do that? France is on the other side of
the English Channel."
"Silly! I'll use the car ferry."
"Yes, but it's dangerous over there. They drive on the right-hand side of the
road."
A few days later, they met again. The first one had changed his plan a
little; "I'm going to be flying over to France".
"Flying? I thought you were going to drive?"
"Yes, but I remembered what you said about them driving on the right-hand
side of the road, so I practised it on the M1. You're right - it is very
dangerous!"
Yes, I know. "Your joke is racist ..."
Next, please!
--
"Keyboard? How quaint!" - M. Scott
Adrian Hurt | JANET: adr...@uk.ac.hw.cee
UUCP: ..!uknet!cee.hw.ac.uk!adrian | ARPA: adr...@cee.hw.ac.uk
Van den Panhuyzen Tom
: The difference, my friend, is that the original poster was laughing with
: narrow-minded people. You're joke is racist, and not peculiarly funny
: either.
: I would apprciate it if this thread would keep up to reasonable ethical
: standards.
- What do you call a Belgian on a soap box ?
- A Grzegorz.
jhe...@ntc01.tele.nokia.fi
>> countries, I would like to start a thread on refugee-related jokes.
Well, an Englishman from London, a Cuban, a Scotsman and a Pakistanian
were hiking at the mountains and they stopped to have a rest near a
high and steep but wery beautiful cliff. The Cuban took a great cigar
and lit it. When he had hardly tasted it, he threw it away down the
cliff. The Scot was amazed and couldn't thin of why he threw it away
and asked "Why on Earth did yuyu do it?" and the Cuban replied "Well
at home in Havanna we have millions of this kind of cigars so to me t
hese cigars aren't so worthy."
Then the Scotsman took a bottle of good Scotsh whisky and opened the
bottle. When he had taken just one small sip, he threw it away. The
Englishman was stunned and asked him "Then why did you that?" and the
Scot replied "At home in Scotland we have thousands of bottles of good
whisky, so for me it was a cheap bottle, I can afford it."
Then the Englishman thought for a moment and pushed the Pakistanian down
the cliff.
--
Jukka Heino Email: jhe...@ntcclu.ntc.nokia.com
Esa K Viitala
> In article <Jan.Dockx-0...@troi.cs.kuleuven.ac.be> Jan....@cs.kuleuven.ac.be (Jan Dockx) writes:
> >In article <HPV.93Oc...@kelvin.uio.no>, h...@kelvin.uio.no (Hans Peter
> >Verne) wrote:
> >> In article <28vfq4$q...@kruuna.Helsinki.FI> ber...@kruuna.Helsinki.FI (K H Petteri Bergius) writes:
> >>
> >> > As Europe has received recently a number of refugees
> >> > from most peculiar
> >> > countries, I would like to start a thread on
> >> > refugee-related jokes.
> >>
> >> [joke deleted]
> >>
> >
> >reasonable ethical standards.
> >
> >Objoke:
> Your joke is racist, and not particularly funny either. I
> would appreciate it if this thread would keep up to reasonable
> ethical standards.
>
> My turn:
>
> Yes, I know. "Your joke is racist ..."
> Next, please!
There were some homeless alcoholics sleeping on a puplic market
place in Finland and a tourist bus passed by. Some tourists
asked about these poor people to which the guide answered that
"they were Russian tourists on their holidays visiting Finland".
Yeah, not funny, racist, and awful. Next?
--
Esa K Viitala, Simrad Albatross A/S, Truly great madness can not be achieved
PB 483, N-3600 Kongsberg, Norway, without significant intelligence.
tlf. +47 32 865415, fax. +47 32 735825 -- Henrik Tikkanen
Michel Jacquot
|> Two people in Britain were discussing their forthcoming holiday. One said
|> "I'm going to be driving over to France".
......
It reminds me of the joke where this guy is driving on the highway,
listening to the radio.
He hear an announcement saying :
"Watch out, there is a mad driving on the wrong side of the highway!"
So he thinks: "One mad! If only it was only one !!!!"
Cheers,
Michel
--
Michel Jacquot jac...@lirmm.fr
LIRMM, 161 rue ADA, 34392 Montpellier Cedex 5 FRANCE
Tel (33) 67 41 85 94 Fax (33) 67 41 85 00
sch...@nlev00.nohost.nodomain
In article <28rkrk$7...@lirmm.lirmm.fr>, kafka writes:
>
>
>Q: Why do Belgians go to sleep with a finger in their ass hole ?
>
>A: In case it would heal up during the night.
>
>
>
>Note: In fact, you can replace Belgian by anything you please, like French,
>Brits, ...
>
>I have noted that 99% of the jokes deal with making fun of somebody anyway.
>
Well, to keep the percentage up. All prepare for this one!
On a good morning a dog meets a pig in an old shed somewhere in
England.
'Good morning', the dog says to the pig, 'I'd like to lick your ass'.
'Well make your day', the pig replies. At the end of the day the dog
thanks the pig for its hospitality and leaves the farm.
The next day the dog shows up again, asking for the same favor. And again
the pig makes no complaint.
Then the third day when the dog is about to leave, the pig asks:
'Could you tell me why on earth you like to lick my ass all day?'
'Well', the dog replies. 'I bit a paki last week, and I really can't
get rid of the taste!'.
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0 0 \0/ 0 *** YES I AM GREAT ***
<> <> O <>
|| || / \ || SCHADEE%31.40...@se.alcbel.be
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sch...@nlev00.nohost.nodomain
Once dead a guy was sent to hell, since he had made a little to many
refugee jokes (yes, you can be sent to hell for that). The devil came
up to him and since he was in a very good mood that day (you must know
that he really loves guys who have made a-little-to-many refugee
jokes), he gave him the possibility to choose between the three
stages of hell.
The first was a place where people were put naked on a stone floor
in freezin' wind and snow with a temperature that even a nordic wouldn't
stand. So he decides to check the next.
The second was a 'damn hot' place 'where your balls get cooked out of
your pents'. Not a pleasant place either, so he goes on to the next.
He looked into the last place, and saw some well-dressed people in a
room up to their knees in shit drinking coffee. Well, he thought,
this is something I can stand. And he requested the devil to let him
stay here.
And just when he entered the room and the door was locked there was
a sudden voice saying: 'Ok guys. Coffee break is over. Everybody back
on his head!'
CULater!
Mark Robinson
>
>a sudden voice saying: 'Ok guys. Coffee break is over. Everybody back
>on his head!'
>
No, No. The punchline should be "On yer 'eads, lads. Tea break over." for
obvious reasons.
Sorry can't think of an ObJoke at the moment.
Mark
--
______________________________________________________________________
Multimedia Information Systems Lab |
Dept. Of Electrical Engineering | There's lies, Damn lies
University of Manchester | and Amplifier power ratings.
Dover St. Manchester. M13 9PL | -- Bluffers Guide to Hi-Fi.
England |
sch...@nlev00.nohost.nodomain
In article <1993Oct7...@ntc01.tele.nokia.fi>, jhe...@ntc01.tele.nokia.fi writes:
>
>>> As Europe has received recently a number of refugees from most peculiar
>>> countries, I would like to start a thread on refugee-related jokes.
>
>
- One day a paki crawled up from a valley (I wonder how he got there?)
and decided to get a job. And lucky him, he is offered a job by
a transportation company. His first job is to deliver 100.000 ping-
pong balls and his boss says : 'You better do this one right! If even
one ball is missing, I'll take one of yours!'.
As he sat in his truck, hurtling down the road with the 100.000 ping-
pong balls, he had to pass a railway-crossing. And, unlucky him,
a train crashed into the truck and all the 100.000 ping-pong balls
bounced away. He decided to call his family to help him in the search
and he's lucky because each of them showed up with one ball, so
there was a pretty good chance that he'd got them all back. He
continued to his destination.
But he was out of luck. The acceptor checked out the package and
came to the conclusion that .... Indeed. One ball was missing!
CULater!
Johan.
Derek Holt
>>
>- One day a paki crawled up from a valley (I wonder how he got there?)
>and decided to get a job. And lucky him, he is offered a job by
>a transportation company. His first job is to deliver 100.000 ping-
etc. etc.
>came to the conclusion that .... Indeed. One ball was missing!
These jokes are in very poor taste, but I didn't understand this one at all.
Why have you put a `.' symbol in the number 100.000 ? I read this as
100 + 0/10 + 0/100 + 0/1000, which is a strange description of a quantity
of ping-pong balls. What use would a thousandth of a ping-pong ball be?
(I'll let you into a secret - in both British and American English,
10^5 is written as 100,000.)
Joke: Man in bed with other man's wife - husband comes home - man hides in
shower - Husband to wife: "Why are you in bed in the middle of the day?",
Wife: "It's a nice surprise for you". Husband: "Great, but I'd better take
a shower first." Husband to man in shower: "What's going on 'ere then??!!!"
Man (clapping his hands above his head): "I'm from the public health board.
There's been an infestation of very small moths in your area that are almost
impossible to see." Husband: "Oh yeaaahhhh!!! Then why have you got no
clothes on???!!!!!" Man, looking slowly down at himself: "Why, the little
buggers!!"
Derek Holt.
Johan Schadee
In article <1993Oct14.1...@dcs.warwick.ac.uk>, d...@maths.warwick.ac.uk (Derek Holt) writes:
>In article <20...@se.alcbel.be> sch...@nlev00.nohost.nodomain () writes:
>>
>>In article <1993Oct7...@ntc01.tele.nokia.fi>, jhe...@ntc01.tele.nokia.fi writes:
>>>
>>- One day a paki crawled up from a valley (I wonder how he got there?)
>>and decided to get a job. And lucky him, he is offered a job by
>>a transportation company. His first job is to deliver 100.000 ping-
>
>etc. etc.
>
>>came to the conclusion that .... Indeed. One ball was missing!
>
I think I do everybody a big favor if I don't start a discussion about
good taste related to jokes.
>Why have you put a `.' symbol in the number 100.000 ? .....
>(I'll let you into a secret - in both British and American English,
>10^5 is written as 100,000.)
Hmmm. I think you have a point there. Thanx for the lesson. I have to
rewrite my signature I'm afraid.
>[great joke deleted]
>Derek Holt.
>
>.... but I didn't understand this one at all.
Ok, I give you a retry.
Joke: A one-balled paki carrying a bottle of whiskey is travelling on a
train drinking, and smoking a cuban cigar. Then a lady with
a dog starts complaining about the smoke he is producing.
He ignores her complaints and continues smoking this great cuban
sigar. Again the lady complains about the smoke, but he really
doesn't give a shit about it. So after the third complaint she
opens the window, takes the cigar, and throws it out the train.
The paki, surprised by the action, stands up, takes her dog, and
throws it out of the window.
At the next station both passengers leave the train, and guess what's
coming down the rail-road? Yes, the dog! Guess what he is bringing
back to the Paki?
...
Indeed! The 100,000th ping pong ball!
(stupid you didn't see that one coming!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
0 0 \0/ 0 *** YES, I AM EVEN GREATER THAN I WAS YESTERDAY ***
<> <> O <> 10^5 is written as 100,000 !!!!!!
|| || / \ || SCHADEE%31.40...@se.alcbel.be
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Martin P Bate
>- One day a paki crawled up from a valley (I wonder how he got there?)
>and decided to get a job. And lucky him, he is offered a job by
>a transportation company. His first job is to deliver 100.000 ping-
>pong balls and his boss says : 'You better do this one right! If even
>one ball is missing, I'll take one of yours!'.
>As he sat in his truck, hurtling down the road with the 100.000 ping-
>pong balls, he had to pass a railway-crossing. And, unlucky him,
>a train crashed into the truck and all the 100.000 ping-pong balls
>bounced away. He decided to call his family to help him in the search
>and he's lucky because each of them showed up with one ball, so
>there was a pretty good chance that he'd got them all back. He
>continued to his destination.
>But he was out of luck. The acceptor checked out the package and
>came to the conclusion that .... Indeed. One ball was missing!
>
>CULater!
>Johan.
Why are you people putting up with this guy????? Even putting the
racist propaganda to the side.....his jokes just aren't FUNNY!!!!!
Come on Johan prove you've at least got a sense of humour even if
you're obviously a straight out racist......Tell us a *funny*
non-racist joke!!!!
>------------------------------------------------------------------
> 0 0 \0/ 0 *** YES I AM GREAT ***
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Once again.... NO YOU ARE NOT!!!
> <> <> O <>
> || || / \ || SCHADEE%31.40...@se.alcbel.be
>------------------------------------------------------------------
Martin.
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