Typical Finnish joke
Tuomas M J Salste
- Käy.
- Pyydä se sitten käymään meilläkin!
-> Is your clock ticking?
-> Yes of course.
-> Then ask it to visit my place too!
--
Tuomas Salste sal...@helsinki.fi
Helsingin Yliopisto The University of Helsinki
Tietojenk{sittelyopin laitos Computer Science
Suomi Finland (it's a country)
Hanspeter Schmid
: - Käyks teidän kello?
Another typical (?) finnish joke:
- mik\"a on se, joka on punainen ja menee yl\"os j\"a alas?
- Se on tomaatti hississ\"a.
-> What is red and going up and down?
-> A tomatoe in the elevator.
Please, Tuomas, post some more finnish jokes. It's one of
the most agreable ways to lern your #@!!@## difficult language.
Hanspeter
Yli-Kuha Kari
[...]
: Please, Tuomas, post some more finnish jokes. It's one of
: the most agreable ways to lern your #@!!@## difficult language.
:
: Hanspeter
Well, I'm not Tuomas but I hope you don't mind.
Kysymys: miksi kutsutaan tukkansa v\"arj\"annytt\"a blondia?
Vastaus: teko"\alysovellus
------
Q: what do you call a blond who has coloured her hair?
A: artificial intelligence application
--
_ , Kari Yli-Kuha, Systems Designer
' ) / SQ Consulting, Ltd., Tampere, Finland
/-< __. __ o e-mail: yli-...@cs.tut.fi
/ ) (_/|_/ (_<_ phone: +358 31 3165 200 fax: +358 31 3165 201
K H Petteri Bergius
#1:
: -> What is red and going up and down?
: -> A tomatoe in the elevator.
^^
You seem to have been in the 'Dan Quayle class of spelling English'.
#2:
: Please, Tuomas, post some more finnish jokes. It's one of
: the most agreable ways to lern your #@!!@## difficult language.
Finnish is not a difficult language! Even my 4-year-old son can speak
and my 7-year-old son can read and write it! ;-)
: Hanspeter
Cheers and nothing personal, I just couldn't resist.
Petteri Bergius
Yli-Kuha Kari
: Hanspeter Schmid had two HIDEOUS errors in his posting:
:
: #1:
:
: : -> What is red and going up and down?
:
: : -> A tomatoe in the elevator.
: ^^
: You seem to have been in the 'Dan Quayle class of spelling English'.
:
: #2:
:
: : Please, Tuomas, post some more finnish jokes. It's one of
: : the most agreable ways to lern your #@!!@## difficult language.
:
: Finnish is not a difficult language! Even my 4-year-old son can speak
: and my 7-year-old son can read and write it! ;-)
True, but try to teach them the #@!!@## schw\"utzerd\"utsch Hanspeter
(assumably) speaks! (the "lern" above should be "learn", IYKWIM ;)
Now, there's a challenge... ;-)
:
: : Hanspeter
:
: Cheers and nothing personal, I just couldn't resist.
:
: Petteri Bergius
----------------------------------------------------------------------
ObFinnish:
......Mik{ on vihre{ ja roikkuu puussa?
....... Raaka Tarzan.
--
...... What's green and hangs up in a tree?
... A raw Tarzan.
[thanks Marylka]
K H Petteri Bergius
A: Jäätynyt Tarzan.
English:
Q: What is blue and hangs in a tree?
A: Frozen Tarzan.
I think these are not very clever jokes and I hereby promise not to post
any more of this low-level stuff intended for (quick, flamesuit on)
Americans as this is a civilized eunet-group.
Cheers,
Petteri Bergius
Hanspeter Schmid
: Hanspeter Schmid had two HIDEOUS errors in his posting:
...
There's actually a third hideous thing which, alas, you don't know:
I have to answer this mail on a Macintosh ... connected to a Sun ...
using a mouse with only one key ... doing it on emacs ... on a
black-and-white screen ... with the soiftware set to colour mode ...
and nobody ever gave me a list of the hot keys.
So why don't you show me some pity ? <:-(
Typical Swiss Joke:
What is white and spoils your breakfast?
An avalanche.
Riku Niittym{ki
>English:
Low-level????? Not very clever???? What are you, a swede or something! Finns
have a peculiar type of humour, I admit:)
Here goes my part:
K: Mika on keltainen ja kolisee?
A: Kananpoika jolla on telaketjut!
And English:
Q: What's yellow and goes Klonk, Klank!
A: A chicken on tracks!(You know, the type that you have on tanks)
Hilarious, eh?;)
Longer story next...
Two hunters were down on the highway, hunting a polarbear(Their very common on
finish highways), when they saw one. The other takes a shot...BANG! and wounds
the bear. They quickly run to the fallen bear and one asks"Are you okay, Mr
Bear?"
The bear spits some blood out of its mouth and says "Yeah, and my father is a
lawyer too!"
HARHARHAR!:)
Or...
Two men were walking on the bridge towards eachother. When they pass, one says
"Got a light?"
"Sure, and a screwdriver too!"
HARHARHARHARHAR!
Gotta love it!:)
K: Mika on valkoinen ja pensaassa?
A: No ujo piima!
English:
Q: What's white in a bush?
A: A shy milk(Actually, not milk...a finnish drink that's kinda like milk...)
Q: What's black, dangerous and in the air?
A: A crow with a machine gun!
HARHARHARHARHAR!:)
Q: What's red in a tree?
A: Tarzan's bathroom in use!:)
K: Mika on ruskea taivaalla?
A: Ruostunut terasmies!
English:
Q: What's brown in the sky?
A: Rusted superman!(Would more fun in english if I had said "Rusted Ironman",
but I wanted to translate to the letter).
Q: How many moves does it take to put an elephant in to the fridge?
A: 3.
-You open the fridge
-You put the elephant into the fridge
-you close the fridge
Q: How many moves does it take to put the giraffe to the fridge?
A: 4.
-You open the fridge
-You take the elephant out
-You put the giraffe in
-You close the fridge
Q: Which would win 100 meters on the track? Elephant or the Giraffe?
A: Elephant, you left the poor Giraffe in the damned fridge!
HARHARHARHARHAR!!!!:)
That's my favourite!!!:)
Q: What happened to the Olmi of all times, when he went fishing?(Dont ask me
what is an olmi...it's just too miserable to explain...)
A: Fish ate him.
Hmmm.....I really think no one would bother reading all the way up to here, but
since you have, lets have one more!:)
Kaks tomskuu meni tien yli, toinen jai auton alle, toinen sano "Kamoon
ketsuppi!"
English: Two tomatOES(damn you and your spelling...flame all you want, just
do it in Finish, will ya)were crossing the road. One was hit by a car. Other
said "Common ketshup!"
Kaks tomaattia meni tien yli, kumpikaan ei jaany auton alle, toinen sano "Tule
tomaatti!"
English: Two tomatoes were passing the road, neither was hit by a car. Other
said "Come on tomatoe(You and your poor language with such a few ways to
express yourself)!"
Kaks tomaattia meni tien yli, molemmat jai auton alle, kumpikaan ei sanonut
mitaan!:)
English: Two tomatoes were crossing the road, both were hit by a car. Neither
said anything.
HARHARHARHARHAR!!!!:)
Told by a friend in a joke competition(A normal sport in Finland, not telling
a joke when it's your turn, means you have to drink one litre of water with
your next shot of Koskenkorva....YACK!). Rules are, if no one laughs, you
lose.
Q: How does a Hippopotamus get up to the tree?
A: Sits on a seed and waits for spring.
Q: What is a hippopotamus doing in the tree?
A: Hitchiking an airplane!:)
Q: After being dropped to the tree by the airplane, how does the Hippopotamus
get down from the tree?
A: He sits on a leaf and waits for fall!
HARHARHARHAR!!!!!!!!!:)
Geees....you must be bored. Dont you have anything better to do? I'm running
out of jokes!(You wish!)
I've seen a lot of Michael Jackson jokes....here goes!
K: Mita M. tekee hississa?
V: Painaa nappulaa!
English:
Q: What does M do in the elevator?
A: Pushes the button!
HARHARHAR! Get it? Pushes the the button!!!!:)
K: Mita M tekee pudottuaan jaihin?
V: Kayttaa hyvakseen naskalia!
Q: What does M do after falling through ice in the spring?
A: Uses the icepick!!!!
HARHARHAR!!!!!
Oki....you've been so nice and checked through all my "jokes". SO I'll give
you a real one:
Two swedish pilots were going to land to Helsinki International Airport. They
had been warned that the runway is real short, so they had their breaks at
full power when they landed. They hit the runway and SCREEECH!!! They break
as well as they can...and yes! just a meter before the runway ends, they manage
to stop.
"Gees, this runway is short!" says the captain.
and his fellow pilot adds, after looking left and right.
"But _real_ wide!"
Flame me, if you like. I'll just ignore it:)
Riku, the drunken Finn.(And damned proud of it!)
Karjala takaisin! Vaikka pullo kerrallaan!
English:
Carelia back to Finns! One bottle at a time, if nothing else works!
HARHARHAR!!!!!!!!!!!
I love it!:)
Ari Rotonen
(stuff deleted)
>Riku, the drunken Finn.(And damned proud of it!)
Thomas Holmstr|m
>In article <2mr6l9$2...@hippo.shef.ac.uk> el93...@silver.shef.ac.uk (T C Kennick) writes:
...
> > proud of being a Finn, or of being drunk?
> > --
>Cannot you combine these things?
Or, rather, isn't the latter a condition for the former?
/Thomas (Not a finn but an Aaland Islander)
--
_/_/_/_/_/ _/ _/ Thomas.H...@Student.docs.uu.se
_/ _/_/_/_/ Ph. +46 18 261628
_/ _/ _/ Telex: 812 6154 324 SICS
PGP Public key available with finger.
The Administrator
>: (stuff deleted)
>: Riku, the drunken Finn.(And damned proud of it!)
>
Proud of being a Finn (and the onlye way to be proud of that is being drunk!)
--
Gerrit Cap
Vlaamse Televisie Maatschappij N.V. e-mail : ger...@vtm.be
Medialaan 1 fax : +32 2 253.12.21
B-1800 Vilvoorde Belgium voice : +32 2 255.38.72
Chris Gray
In article <Cn5tG...@albatross.no>, es...@albatross.no (Esa K Viitala) writes:
|In article <2mr6l9$2...@hippo.shef.ac.uk> el93...@silver.shef.ac.uk (T C Kennick) writes:
| > : (stuff deleted)
| > : Riku, the drunken Finn.(And damned proud of it!)
| >
|Cannot you combine these things?
No need to, they amount to the same thing anyway.
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