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Claudia Heyman

Jul 19, 1995, 3:00:00 AM7/19/95
Cool Quotes


* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

* A king's castle is his home.

* A penny saved is ridiculous.

* All that glitters has a high refractive index.

* Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

* Anarchy is better than no government at all.

* Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.

* As you read the scroll, it vanishes...

* Automobile - A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.

* Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.

* Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.

* Brain -- the apparatus with which we think that we think.

* BATCH - A group, kinda like a herd.

* Computer hackers do it all night long.

* Computer modelers simulate it first.

* Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.

* Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.

* Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

* Courage is your greatest present need.

* CLEARASOL - Effective sunspot remover.

* Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

* Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.

* Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer.

* Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's

* Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

* Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.

* Drive defensively -- buy a tank.

* Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends.

* Entropy isn't what it used to be.

* Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality.

* Familiarity breeds children.

* God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the

* Going the speed of light is bad for your age.

* GAY ABANDON - Homosexual repellent perfume.

* He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

* Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

* Help support helpless victims of computer error.

* Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.

* History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other.

* I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.

* If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were

* If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

* I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.

* In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.

* It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

* It works better if you plug it in.

* It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

* Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

* KODACLONE - duplicating film.

* Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

* Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something

* Life's a bitch, then you die.

* Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

* Mediocrity thrives on standardization.

* MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

* Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

* NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning

* Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.

* Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

* QUARKBAR - the candy with flavour and charm.

* QUASIMOTO - 4 wheeled hard-top moped made in France.

* Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.

* Screw up your life, you've screwed everything else up.

* Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.

* Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.

* SQWERTY - Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.


* The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

* The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

* The road to to success is always under construction.

* Those who can't write, write help files.

* To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

* To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.

* Today is the last day of your life so far.

* TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids.

* Wasting time is an important part of life.

* When all else fails, read the instructions.

* When in doubt, don't bother.

* When in doubt, ignore it.

* Xerox does it again and again and again and...

* XMODEM - A spot-marking transfer protocol.

* YTERM - A terminal program for queries.



"Fate often puts all the material of happiness into a man's hands just to
see how miserable he can make himself with them."
- Don Marquis

John Belanger

Jul 21, 1995, 3:00:00 AM7/21/95
My favorite has always been "Life's a bitch, then you marry one." Or would that be more applicable to blondes?

John Belanger
My personal opinions (Mostly)

John Belanger

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