Hindu Marriage Book Pdf

[Jannet Nevels]

Variouslydefined, it is generally described to be a social institution for the establishment and regulation of a proper relationship between the sexes, as stated by Manu. Marriage is regarded to be a sacrament by Hindus, rather than a form of social contract, since they believe that all men and women are created to be parents, and practise dharma together, as ordained by the Vedas.[2] The Brahmanas state that a man is only said to be "complete" after marrying a woman, and acquiring progeny.[3]

The ideal conception of marriage that was laid down by the ancient Indians is one in which it is a ceremonial gift of a bride (Vadhū) by her father, or another appropriate family member, to a bride-groom (Vara), so that they may fulfil the purposes of human existence together. In such a conception, vivaha, which originally meant the wedding ceremony, but has to acquire the definition of marriage as a whole, is meant for procreation, and the establishment of a family (kutumba). After one's wedding, one is believed to have entered the second stage of life, the grihastha ashrama, performing the duties of a householder.[4]

In Hinduism, the four goals of life (Purusarthas) are regarded to be righteousness (dharma), wealth (artha), pleasure (kama), and liberation (moksha). Marriage is considered to be necessary to fulfil these goals. The three goals of marriage include allowing a husband and a wife to fulfil their dharma, bearing progeny (praja), and experiencing pleasure (rati). Sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is regarded to be important in order to produce children, but is the least desirable purpose of marriage in traditional Hindu schools of thought.[5]

The Naradasmirti states a daughter should be given away for once and all, as soon as her menses appear.[6] The Manusmriti states that following menarche, a maiden may wait for three years, after which she may marry.[7] Girls are usually considered to have achieved puberty when they are 12 years old, and are allowed to choose their own husbands if a suitable groom is not procured for them.[8]

One should not choose (the bride) from the same gotra or born in the line of same sage. (One may choose) from (descendants of) more than seven (generations) on the paternal side and more than five (generations) on the maternal side.

The use of jatakam or janmakundali (natal and astrological chart at the time of birth) of one's son or daughter to arrange a marriage with the help of a priest is common, but not universal. Parents also take advice from Brahmin astrologers called 'Jothidar' in Tamil, 'Panthulu or Siddanthi' in Telugu, and Kundali Milan in Hindi, who holds astrological data of those individuals looking to get married. Some communities, like the Brahmins in Mithila, use genealogical records ("Panjikas") maintained by the specialists.

A jatakam or kundali chart is drawn based on the placement of the stars and planets at the time of one's birth. Those individuals who subscribe to Hindu astrology believe that the position of these celestial objects at the time of their birth, and their benefic or malefic influence, influence the auspicious compatibility between a bride and groom. For instance, the planet Venus is believed to be a benefic planet, and influential in terms of marriage.[10] The maximum points for any match can be 36, and the minimum points for matching is 18.[11] Any match with points under 18 is not considered as an auspicious match for a harmonious relationship, but they may still marry if they so choose. If the astrological chart of the two individuals (male and female) achieve the required threshold in points, then further talks are considered for a prospective marriage. The man and woman are given a chance to talk, and understand each other. If both parties consent, an auspicious time is chosen for the wedding to take place.

Hindu texts such as the Atharvaveda[12] and the Manusmriti III.20-34,[13] identify eight forms of marriage. They are traditionally presented, as here, in order of their religious appropriateness (prashasta). They also differ very widely in social acceptability.[14][15]

The Brahmavivaha is a righteous form of marriage. It refers to the marriage of one's daughter to a man of good conduct, learned in the Vedas, and invited by oneself. Brahma marriage is where a boy is able to get married once he has completed his education in the first stage of life, the Brahmacharya. Brahma marriage holds the supreme position of the eight types of Hindu matrimony. When the parents of a boy seek a suitable bride, they consider her family background, and the girl's father would ensure that his daughter's prospective groom is a scholar, one who is well-versed in the Vedas.[20]

The Daivavivaha is a righteous form of marriage. It is a form of marriage unique to the ancient Brahmins, where a man gifts his richly bedecked daughter's hand in marriage to a priest who officiates at the former's sacrifice ceremony, in lieu of paying the latter a nominal sacrificial fee. This form of a marriage, ranked as the second most meritorious, is regarded to redeem the sins of seven ascendants and descendants. It is called such because it is believed to be worthy of the devas themselves.[21]

The Arshavivaha is a righteous form of marriage. It is a form of marriage where a man gifts his daughter as a bride, after receiving one pair of cattle, a cow and a bull, or two pairs from a groom, the exchange being perceived as a matter of the law, rather than the sale of the former's daughter. The sage Yajnavalkya prescribes offering one's maiden daughter as a bride in exchange for a pair of cows.[22]

The Prajapatyavivaha is a righteous form of marriage. It is a form of marriage where a girl's father gives her hand in marriage to a bridegroom, treating him with respect, and addressing them with the following words: 'May both of you perform together your religious duties' (Sanskrit: Hyā kanyēśīṃ dharmācēṃ ācaraṇa kara, or Prajōtpādanārtha kanyārpaṇa). In a Prajapatya marriage, the bride's father goes in search of a groom, rather than the other way around, which makes it inferior to a Brahma marriage.[23]

The Gandharvavivaha is a form of marriage classified as non-righteous in general.[24][25] It is cohabitation that arises out of the mutual love shared between a youth and a maiden, where the primary purpose is sexual intercourse. No consultation of one's family members or the performance of ritual ceremonies take place. The marriage of Dushyanta and Shakuntala was a historically celebrated example of this class of marriage.[26] It is generally considered to be permissible to the members of the Kshatriya varna, and only the Vaishya and the Shudra varnas according to Smriti texts,[27] though it has grown increasingly common in the present-day due to the practice of dating among the newer generations.[28][29]

The Asuravivaha is a non-righteous form of marriage. It is a form of marriage where a bridegroom receives a maiden, after having given of his own free will as much wealth as he can afford, to the bride, and her kinsmen. As a form of marriage performed by paying a bride price, it is generally stated to be forbidden, though it is sometimes cited to be allowed for members of the Vaishya and Shudra varnas.[30][31]

The Rakshasavivaha is a non-righteous form of marriage. It is the marriage performed after a non-consenting maiden is seized by force or abducted by a man. When such a maiden is abducted, she is described to weep as her relatives are assaulted and slain, and their house is wrecked. The marriage is then celebrated in the absence of the father of the bride by the family of her abductor. It is a reprehensible form of a marriage that is condemned by the Manusmriti, and is punished by law in society in the present-day.[32][33]

The Paishachavivaha is a non-righteous form of marriage. When a man stealthily rapes a woman who is asleep, intoxicated, or mentally challenged, it is regarded to be a marriage, though only to preserve the honour of the woman. This is condemned in the Manusmriti as a sinful act. In modern times, this is classified as a form of date rape, and is a crime in most countries.[34][35]

James Lochtefeld comments that these last two forms were forbidden, but the marriages themselves were still recognised in ancient Hindu societies, not to allow these acts, but rather to provide the woman and any resulting children with legal protection in the society.[14]

Polygyny refers to a form of marriage where a man is married to more than one woman during the same period of time. While polygyny was not the norm of mainstream Hindu society, having more than one wife was a social custom that was believed to increase the prestige of a man. Members of royalty and aristocracy were often polygynous, and they were among the few who could afford to support more than one wife in their households. Polygyny was sanctioned by the Manusmriti among members of the dvija (twice-born) varnas: Brahmins were allowed to have up to four wives,[36] Kshatriyas could have three wives, and the Vaishyas could have two wives; the Shudras, however, were permitted to have only one wife.[37] The Apastamba Dharmasutra allows a man to take a new wife after ten years if his present wife was judged to be barren, and could marry after thirteen or fourteen years if his wife only produced daughters, and he desired a son. The Vasishtha Dharmsutra states a husband may take another wife if his wife engages in extramarital sex. Until the passage of the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, every Hindu in India was theoretically allowed to have multiple wives.[38][39]

Polyandry refers to a marriage where a woman is married to more than one man during the same period of time. This form of marriage was exceedingly rare among Hindu society in Indian history, and the Mahabharata's polyandrous marriage of Draupadi to the five Pandava brothers is the most cited example of this custom. The Mahabharata, however, does state that it is a great adharma for a woman to have multiple husbands. The Aitareya Brahmana prohibits a woman from having two husbands. The practice of polyandry has historically existed among the Nair community of Kerala, called Sambandam, though its practice is very rare in the modern period. The Todas of the Nilgiris, the Khasa of Dehradun, and a few communities of northern India are also cited to have been polyandrous.[40] Polyandry is viewed with contempt in India today, a practice little removed from promiscuity on the part of a woman.[41]

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