David,
First of all, sorry for the delay in responding, your message was stuck in spam review.
Without knowing a little bit more it is always hard to say what the best answer is, but I can try to provide some guidance and my opinion. I am sure Eric and/or Tristan will chime in, too.
While 10,000+ users certainly is a decent amount, it is by no means huge in the world of Erlang. You should safely be able to handle that with a simple_one_for_one. From the way you described things, you probably just need a connection pool that is connecting to your backend stuff, then a simple_one_for_one app that arbitrates the service.
General principles of distributed systems also apply to Erlang. The most important thing is to keep it simple and not optimize until you need to. The second is to use spikes (
http://www.extremeprogramming.org/rules/spike.html) to test your hypothesis. In this case I would write a quick Erlang app as described above and do some load testing with something like Blitz.
Thanks!
Jordan Wilberding