March fourth forth, 2012
Erella Ganon
This week, I went for another 3T MRI.
The 3T ones are a double as strong as the 1.5T MRI machines.
http://www.uhn.ca/media/releases/2005/oct/neuro_imaging.asp
I never enjoy the experience, but sometimes it is tolerable and sometimes, less so.
Friday's one was super difficult for me.
The technician was actually a nice person. She speaks words into a mic in her room that I can hear from the headphones at my ears.
I ask her to prepare me for each part of the process by announcing it first. "This next exposure will be 6 minutes".
I am in put into a kind of coffin in a vault and she's next door in a control room.
During the process, she injects me by remote control, putting a dye into my brain and watching the before and after shots.
I want to be able to communicate with her as we are getting me ready.
She inserts a remote needle into my right wrist before the goalie mask is lowered to cover my face.
I get pulled into the machine by some kind of hydraulic thing.
The process takes about an hour and half.
About a half hour into the machine, my stomach started to cramp up because of the exploding diarrhea sessions I have been having as an almost daily occurrence since my
Bilateral Adrenalectomy a year and half ago. I have gone to a nutritionist and limited all wheat, gluten, caffeine, dairy, raw fruit or vegetables and everything else and had no
change in this. I have had3 kinds of colonoscopies, and have been tested for CDiff, and a huge assortment of other ailments. We don't know what is causing this.
These cramps were painful of course, more so because I was endeavouring to maintain a state of absolute stillness.
My eyes are closed for the duration of the time in the machine.
The thing makes super-loud abrasive sounds. Even though I am wearing earplugs, every time one or another one makes a new sound, like several jackhammers are going off
all around me, my eyes blink slightly (even though they are closed). Nothing like being in a confined space, strapped down, and having it sound like the entire earth is
collapsing around me.
Every time my eyelids flutter or move slightly, I hear Mary's voice loudly in my ear reprimanding me for the slightest movements.
You can get an idea of what it sounds like here. I notice the patient in this video isn't strapped down or getting a dye injection.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oI9YnhPNcQ
Then the dye gets inserted in my arm. Twice, having this part of the procedure, my vein burst and made a bloody mess. This time though, I felt my arm get cold then it went
absolutely numb. My arms are secured to my body in an uncomfortably position that is a tight fit anyway. All I want to do is stretch my arm and find a bathroom.
They'd normally be easy requests.
Anyway, sorry to go on. I was very glad to be let out of that torture machine.
I know that we cannot measure the size of my brain tumour and whether or not it has grown, if I don't subject myself to this every once in a while, but wow, it can be really
tough.
Let me tell you what is going on with my book project(s).
There is a man in Florida that has approached me about my work.
He has an organization that works with a lot of Patient Advocats. He wants to make TShirts, cups, cards and hats and offer them online for his people (or any other
interested smart people).
This will come together very soon.
I had been frustrated that my book didn't look like it was any closer to being published.
Michele Landsberg was helpful, encouraging and helped me get me together with a publisher friend of hers last March 2011. It was very exciting for me to imagine this
possibility.
I brought them a manuscript that Jude MacDonald had thoughtfully edited into an order that made more sense.
We printed up all 240 pages in B&W because a colour copy of the images would be too costly.
Even though it wasn't colour, it looked pretty impressive.
There were a lot of "I'll meet you in a couple weeks" that dragged on and on.
Finally the publisher called me and told me they were excited to put the book out.
I was relieved and thrilled for obvious reasons. Talking to her though, I wasn’t sure she really understood what I was doing or why. She was referring to it as the same kind
of book as one they were working on. That one is a cancer book where artists are provided bras to decorate for breast cancer awareness. It was ok. Their work is good.
I could deal with that.
I loved the publishing company's work and was excited to meet with them with them with my friend Ann Dean. She and I had made some prototypes of greeting cards to
show them and had ideas about marketing and distribution.
The meeting was put off for one reason and then another, which was getting frustrating. Finally, in the middle of November, we met.
I didn't like the way they treated Ann. It was a signal to me for sure. When they talked about foreign sales I was getting more excited. She was not at all interested in the
greeting cards or anything other than the actual book.
We left the meeting feeling pretty good, though both Ann and I had reservations. The publisher was going to get a contract for us in 2 weeks.
It was a relief to not have to worry about distribution of the book.
After 6 weeks I called her every day.
I didn’t understand why it was so difficult to reach this woman.
Eventually I spoke with her and she sent me an email. She had asked a professional reader to look over the project and the woman suggested I start from scratch and redo
the majority of the drawings, claiming that the Erella character is hard to pick out of images. Sometimes she’s got long or short hair and that there isn’t enough explanation
who the various characters are. “Who are Monique and Sara? Are they friends or sisters?” I get what they are saying. She said she still very much would like to work with me
but thought the book was completed and this reader confirmed what she was thinking that this needs a lot done before it would be ready for press.
I gave it a lot of thought. Many of her points made some sense but I think she’s underestimating my audience.
I asked this publisher to return my manuscript. I feel like a year of my time was wasted.
I will put it out as an ebook shortly. We’ve enlisted the help of a copyright lawyer for these projects and we’re getting an education from many friends who’ve been on
similar journeys too.
Ann and I will put out the greeting cards. They really work in that context.
My dear friend Rick Hawkins in Athens, Georgia will be printing them there and we’ll be selling them online and through hospital gift shops hopefully.
I will let you know more news as it comes up.
In the meantime, here’s a sneak preview of some art work I just did for the Patient’s Association of Canada who is putting out a book of cancer memoires that I am
illustrating. It will come out in the spring.
