Kcd Save Reeky
Mohammed Faerber
i done other stuff in game (unfinished tasks) and herbaling a lot and then i go to save reeky theres these 2-3 runt gang members one outside and another 1-2 (i have done this twice) and it is bossible save reeky i have seem him but then game says always in empty cave "you have discovered reekys hideout) and reeky is near at bushes this time 2-3 days ago i start cheating in game not how console commands say but it got another chance that you can easily kill people and can save game if you dont kill a headmaster at pribysalev and can chance clothes now i try join cumans but thay seeking murderer so i cant learn cumans game craches in when one time i found reeky but i have therefore kill headmaster
i am tired 2 week session and now i understand that quest line was closed i must be this time faster already have been pribylasev about two day learning but cant speak only impress or mighty they think i am general cant mistake must go smaller camps
game has freeze i checked all places missing sword soldiers come to you for crime but nothing goes after that forward sick bastard he is wc or home none move but bug started when i go too close to listen what they asking reeky i take my steps back and started again there so option is you never go and found reekys hideout until full game???
Bob: *tips his hat* Hello, everybody, and Happy Independence Day. Today, I'm gonna celebrate my proud American heritage and exercise my right to free speech with an opinion which, sadly, isn't too popular among internet reviewers like myself: I'm a fan of Jeff Dunham.
Bob: *voiceover* No, I'm not gonna apologize for saying that. The guy's hilarious. I've seen all his stand-ups, I follow him on YouTube, I didn't see all of his spin-off show on Comedy Central, but what I did see, I liked that, too. And, come on, anyone who has a street-legal Batmobile demands respect. Today, we're going to talk about one of his most popular and most controversial characters: Achmed the Dead Terrorist. The joke revolving around him is that he's a suicide bomber, who accidentally blows himself up before he has a chance to take any innocent lives with him.
Bob: And, if you're like me, then you might be wondering how a bloodthirsty jihadist like Achmed would end up with someone as harmless and pro-American as Jeff Dunham. Well, the answer to that question might just be held in Achmed's very first movie, "Achmed Saves America".
Bob: If you don't love Achmed after he confesses that he likes Tigger, then... I'm sorry, but you have no soul. *voiceover* Achmed wishes that he could be an animated character just like Tigger...
Bob: *chuckles* OK, that is brilliant. The guy's obviously a Muslim, but you can't actually call him that since somebody watching this movie is gonna accuse it of either saying that all Muslims are terrorists, or all terrorists are Muslims, or something like that. So, what do they do? They simply just call him a non-Muslim. What religious faction does he belong to? Non-Muslim. That's all you need to know. OK? *nods his head, voiceover* He accidentally sets the bomb off, which reduces him to his iconic skeletal form that we all know and love. OK, a little red flag going up here; I thought the explosion that killed him was the result of him answering his cell phone while he was refueling his scooter. What's going on here? He gets picked up by a giant American bald eagle, (Oh, irony!) then he hitches a ride on a passing airplane which, of course, takes him to America.
Bob: Could he not have simply asked Jeff Dunham how Achmed was supposed to die? *voiceover* He lands in a little town called "Americaville", which shares a border with Subtle Acres, but then he gets hit by... Seth MacFarlane's next TV show?
A family consisting of a brunette-haired man wearing a turquoise dress shirt with a salmon colored tie and white pants, a red-haired woman wearing a green shirt and blue jeans, a black-haired boy wearing a red shirt with a horizontal white stripe around the middle and the same pants as his mother, and a blonde-haired girl wearing a hot pink dress and black pants, all exit the car and discover Achmed.
Bob: ...Bill? *beat* The dog... in a Jeff Dunham property... is named Bill? Bill, who was supposed to be Jeff Dunham's golden retriever? *holds his head in embarrassment* Oh, my god... This writer's just plugging in random buzz-words from Jeff Dunham's life, completely out of context! You might as well just name the dog "Rabbit Poo Mountain"! *voiceover* Anyway, this collection of non-descript, interchangeable nobodies, named the Wilsons, mistake Achmed for a French foreign exchange student, who they were supposed to pick up at the airport.
Bob: *voiceover* My god, this animation is bland! Seriously, how did they make these people look less life-like than the skeleton, who's based on a lifeless puppet? Are they trying to make them look this bad?
Bob: *voiceover* The Wilsons announce that their town is throwing its 100th birthday celebration, which gives Achmed something to blow up. Later that night, we see him putting together the finishing touches on a new bomb, when little Kevin Wilson decides to bond with him for a while.
Bob: *voiceover* After that bit of "What the hell?", we cut to the next day where the Americaville birthday celebration is in full swing. Achmed, suddenly, brings in his own party favor, and...
Bob: *voiceover* And, I think that's Sweet Daddy D behind him. OK, so the other dummies are in this movie, too, but they're just pushed into the background? What was the point of that? Why is this movie revolving around these blank slates when you've got Jeff Dunham's entire entourage at your disposal?
Bob: You know, that is very true. We're only on this earth for a short period of time, so why shouldn't we try to just make it as pleasant as possible, and... at least try to get along? That suicide bomber is a saint! *salutes, voiceover* Achmed sets up the bomb to explode, but has a change of heart when the entire town welcomes him with open arms.
Bob: *voiceover* OK, not to say that these people shouldn't be welcoming to someone coming for a visit, but what did Achmed do to receive this kind of adulation? Their reaction to seeing him should be more like, "Oh, look at that. A new exchange student from France is visiting us. Isn't that something?" It feels like we're missing some second act where Achmed has a chance to interact with the town, and then they fall in love with him, and want to throw him a celebration.
Bob: *voiceover* Achmed manages to stop his bomb from going off, but he accidentally sets off the fireworks, which results in an equally massive explosion... which was less deadly, somehow. Weird.
Bob: You see? I'm not the only one who thinks it's stupid! *voiceover* However, being hospitalized isn't enough to keep Achmed from expressing his newfound patriotism, and he marches in the Centennial parade.
Bob: *voiceover* Thus, Achmed learned of and quickly fell in love with the American way of life. The Wilsons decided to let him stay with them, for Achmed had no other place he would rather call his home. And so, as Achmed the Dead Terrorist observed, god bless America, everyone.
Bob: *voiceover* Wait, what? Why is the movie still going? We already saw him learn to love America and America loves him right back, so shouldn't this be over? Why are seeing Achmed continue to show off how much he loves America, when we literally saw him doing so only three minutes ago? Apparently, Achmed wants to show off how much he loves America by using his skills in explosives to create a new Mt. Rushmore featuring Donald Trump, Taylor Swift, Tom Cruise, and Lance Armstrong.
Bob: *perplexed* Don't look at me, I'm just as confused as you are! *voiceover* Achmed convinces Hassan to help him get back to America to save the Wilsons by promising him the opportunities and have whatever his heart desires... at Home Bound Buffet. All the limitless possibilities of the American dream being represented by a limitless buffet? Got to hand it to you, movie, that's pretty funny. Sadly, they have no way of getting back to America, since the tunnel they came through is locked, for some reason, so they do what Americans do in times of crisis: pray.
Bob: *chuckles again* OK, that is funny. Why? Because it's true. For a while, our national bird was going to be the turkey. This movie wants to make a whole bunch of jokes that are social commentary, but for the most part, it's just been making crap up. If it wants to make those kind of jokes, then they need to be based on something real. *voiceover* The eagle takes them back to Americaville, that sure is convenient, and they eventually find themselves in a junkyard. But Achmed is struck by divine inspiration, and he knows exactly how he can catch up to the Wilsons before they're imprisoned. Meanwhile, the Wilsons are being followed by Left-Wing Larry and Right-Wing Randy here. If this guy's (Left-Wing Larry) driving a Prius, couldn't they have at least made it a powder blue Prius like Dunham has?
The wilsons see an orange, retro-style roadster from where they sit, speeding down the road with a hood ornament covering the engine, which resembles Achmed's own head and is spewing flames out both sides of the mouth.
Bob: Oh, yeah. They took the dad's car design that they established earlier and they turned it into a plot device that ended up saving the day. This movie finally did something cinematically correct! *voiceover* Achmed stops them and gives a big, heartfelt speech about how he should be going to prison and the Wilsons are decent people, but the soldiers are getting ready to take him down. What were these guys doing out here before Achmed stopped the bus?
Bob: So when all is said and done, it's ventriloquism that saves the day? Again, I have to ask, why isn't this movie about Jeff Dunham?! *voiceover* Chet tries to blow up Achmed since the soldiers aren't gonna do it, but naturally, he survives with barely a scratch.
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