Julius Caesar Essay(3/5/12)

[John Doyle]

John Doyle

Thesis: In Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare, manipulation is used
to convince Brutus to kill Caesar, get Brutus to tell his wife about
his plans, and to prevent Antony from giving the killers away.(JD)

Topic Sentence 1: Cassius manipulates Brutus into betraying Caesar and
joining him to plan his death.

CD (Cassius to Brutus) "I've have heard, where many of the best
respect in Rome...speaking of noble Brutus...have wished that noble
Brutus had his eyes"

Commentary: Cassius tells Brutus this to get him to believe he is a
highly regarded Roman and that the people of Rome believe him to be
blind to Caesar's growing power. Brutus now begins to think of how
Caesar's rapidly growing power may become a problem after all.

CD2: "What's so special about Caesar?Why should his name be proclaimed
more than yours?...(Shakespeare 19-20)

Commentary: Cassius tells this to Brutus, planting a seed in his head,
making Brutus think of why he is not as popular with the people. By
doing this Cassius is allowing Brutus to develop his own thoughts on
the matter, allowing Brutus to develop a hate for Caesar on his own.

David Pinon

CD 3: "Brutus, thou sleep'st; awake, and see thyself. Shall Rome, &c.
Speak, strike, redress. Brutus, thou sleep'st awake" (Shakespeare
46-48).

Commentary: Brutus was not fully convinced that what the conspirators
were
planning was a good idea so to fully convince Brutus, Cassius planted
a
letter on Brutus window. When he read the letter he thought it was
coming
from the Roman citizens telling him to speak and strike against Caesar
and
to fix what has happened. Since Brutus wanted what was better for the
citizens of Rome he promised that they would get justice by his hand.

[Mikey Greaney]

I like your thesis but there is some minor errors but get what you are
trying to say.

[cade Bailey]

Good idea's but everything you mention in the thesis could be used for
topic sentences and the thesis is really specific.

On Mar 5, 9:19 pm, John Doyle <jdoyle....@gmail.com> wrote:

[william hecht]

The thesis is very specific.

On Mar 5, 9:19 pm, John Doyle <jdoyle....@gmail.com> wrote:

[Charlie Maloney]

the concrete details go well with the thesis...but i think BD would
say after reading your thesis "so what?" you might want to consider
making an argument

On Mar 5, 9:19 pm, John Doyle <jdoyle....@gmail.com> wrote:

[Zachary Wallace]

The Thesis seems very long and drawn out while also telling me your
topic sentences, i like the supporting details and commentary though

On Mar 6, 6:15 pm, Charlie Maloney <charliemaloney...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[Ryan Kranson]

its very clear what your going to talk about, but the thesis could be
worded a bit different, but still keep the 3 things you are going to
talk about

[Christian Casias]

The thesis kinda seems a little awkward wording. There are some minor
errors but otherwise good job.

[Marquis Morris]

It seems like your thesis is too detailed to the point that its not as
strong as it could be. If you were more vague, i believe you would be
able to prove your topic better.

On Mar 5, 9:19 pm, John Doyle <jdoyle....@gmail.com> wrote:

[Marcelo Orozco]

Strong thesis with good support

On Mar 5, 9:19 pm, John Doyle <jdoyle....@gmail.com> wrote:

[Jack Hurley]

The 1st topic sentence reflected the thesis well

[grady nelson]

I think the thesis has good ideas but is sounds a little awkward. Also
in TS1 you should say how he manipulates brutus. It seems you are
simply stating facts in that sentence.

On Mar 5, 9:19 pm, John Doyle <jdoyle....@gmail.com> wrote:

[Brett Inglesby]

You could maybe change up your thesis to make it less choppy and then
use those 3 ideas as topic sentences

On Mar 5, 9:19 pm, John Doyle <jdoyle....@gmail.com> wrote:

[Joshua Salem]

Very precise but drawn out thesis. Good concrete details and
commentary.

[zach haynes]

Your thesis is confusing to me