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World Cup Jokes

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printf...@btconnect.com

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Jul 17, 2010, 9:40:37 AM7/17/10
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- David Blaine is reportedly furious after England crashed out of the World
Cup - his record of doing absolutely nothing in a box for 42 days was broken
by Wayne Rooney.


- The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. "It's
heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jamal, aged
six.


- I've just won two tickets to see the England team. Do you want to come
with me? We'll catch the bus to Gatwick Airport on Thursday and watch them
come home.


- I hear Oxo are making a new product. The packaging is white with a red
cross and they're calling it the laughing stock.


- What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag
stays in the cup longer.


- Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car
park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He
stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied: "No
way. You got yourself into this mess. Don't ask me to sort it out!"


- What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A
referee.


- Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing
room - Robert Green was guarding the door.


- I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should
easily have beaten. . . . I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.


- What does the Englishman do when England wins the World Cup? He switches
off the Play Station.


- What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the
day.


- What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The
jet engine eventually stops whining.


- Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England 's top scorer.

- Apparently England are changing the 3 lions on the shirt to 3 tampons. A
spokesman for the FA said this is to represent the worst period they have
ever had.


- All future England matches have been moved to the Gay Adult Channel.
Apparently the sight of 11 arseholes getting hammered for 90 minutes was far
too explict for ITV

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