Peer Review of Proposals
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Carl Roach
Nov 8, 2011, 6:35:44 PM11/8/11
to ENGL 10500-22
Discussion One:
Work in groups and use the Proposal Prompt to respond
to the proposals of your classmates. What does the proposal do well?
What could be improved, revised, or otherwise changed? Explain.
Work in groups and use the Proposal Prompt to respond
to the proposals of your classmates. What does the proposal do well?
What could be improved, revised, or otherwise changed? Explain.
Julia Vander Wal
Nov 9, 2011, 6:12:50 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
I reviewed Kayla McCoy's proposal.
The proposal clearly identifies why the topic is important, how the
author is going to go about getting the necessary information for the
topic, the methodology behind the topic and a detailed plan about how
they are going to expand on the topic and use different multimodal's
to enhance the work. She could be more specific about the idea
development and should look at her sentence structuring to make sure
that the proposal flows nicely and is easy to follow. Besides that I
think she did a very nice job of putting together a proposal and I
think her piece will fit in great with the overall webzine.
The proposal clearly identifies why the topic is important, how the
author is going to go about getting the necessary information for the
topic, the methodology behind the topic and a detailed plan about how
they are going to expand on the topic and use different multimodal's
to enhance the work. She could be more specific about the idea
development and should look at her sentence structuring to make sure
that the proposal flows nicely and is easy to follow. Besides that I
think she did a very nice job of putting together a proposal and I
think her piece will fit in great with the overall webzine.
Message has been deleted
Emily Sams-Vitalone
Nov 9, 2011, 6:13:50 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
I reviewed Delana McCarroll's proposal.
The proposal explained exactly what she wanted to talk about and how
she planned on going about getting her information. I understand fully
why she wants to write about the dangers of smoking and who she wants
to inform about it. The prompt was overall what was asked for
On Nov 9, 5:12 pm, Julia Vander Wal <julia.e.vander...@gmail.com>
wrote:
The proposal explained exactly what she wanted to talk about and how
she planned on going about getting her information. I understand fully
why she wants to write about the dangers of smoking and who she wants
to inform about it. The prompt was overall what was asked for
On Nov 9, 5:12 pm, Julia Vander Wal <julia.e.vander...@gmail.com>
wrote:
Eric Jorgensen
Nov 9, 2011, 6:14:29 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
Review of Jorge Campos
The proposal does a very good job of stating the opinion of the writer
as well as the way he will go about trying to effect change. Going
back to look at previous financial crisis is a great idea because its
very fact base and it will prove a point either way. Even better
would be researching the way that the US defeated those financial
crisis and moved on. This is a great idea for phase three because it
is extremely fact based and can be backed by proven attempts and ideas
used previously by the US.
The proposal does a very good job of stating the opinion of the writer
as well as the way he will go about trying to effect change. Going
back to look at previous financial crisis is a great idea because its
very fact base and it will prove a point either way. Even better
would be researching the way that the US defeated those financial
crisis and moved on. This is a great idea for phase three because it
is extremely fact based and can be backed by proven attempts and ideas
used previously by the US.
Kayla McCoy
Nov 9, 2011, 6:14:39 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
I really liked Julia's proposal. I liked that she really knew how to
use bigger words to make it sound like she really knew what she was
talking about. I like the idea that she had to interview more than one
person so that she could get different people's opinions. Another
thing that she did well was that she knew how to use ways of getting
her point across by not bluntly saying what she wanted to say. There
was a couple of things that i noticed she could possibly change to
make it flow better. One thing i think she should do is definitely go
back and just check spelling and some grammar. Another tiny thing i
noticed was that there were a couple of run on sentences, but overall
it was really good just make sure u go re-read after u done :)
Jorge Campos
Nov 9, 2011, 6:14:52 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
What does the proposal do well?
Eric does an excellent job in giving an concise and focused view of
his topic as well as give a detailed plan of how he plans to do the
research.
What could be improved, revised, or otherwise changed?
he's researching is on does affect our community and goes well with
the webzine's message.
On Nov 8, 5:35 pm, Carl Roach <carlwalterro...@gmail.com> wrote:
Delana McCarroll
Nov 9, 2011, 6:15:41 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
On Emily Sams-Vitalone Proposal
I think Emily makes a lot of great points in her proposal and her
interview of teachers and sit on the class will give her a lot of
great information. A suggestion however, would be to sit on in an
elementary school in a nicer town and then sit in on one in a lower
income area and compare the differences of the students learning
abilities. I don't think the problem with students in lower class
areas is that they aren't as smart as the children in nicer
communities, I think it has a lot to the with the parenting and
examples the have at home. These children are most likely not
encouraged to do well in school and study, so therefore they don't
find school important. Overall, the proposal was great though!
I think Emily makes a lot of great points in her proposal and her
interview of teachers and sit on the class will give her a lot of
great information. A suggestion however, would be to sit on in an
elementary school in a nicer town and then sit in on one in a lower
income area and compare the differences of the students learning
abilities. I don't think the problem with students in lower class
areas is that they aren't as smart as the children in nicer
communities, I think it has a lot to the with the parenting and
examples the have at home. These children are most likely not
encouraged to do well in school and study, so therefore they don't
find school important. Overall, the proposal was great though!
Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted
Kayla McCoy
Nov 9, 2011, 6:16:53 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
I reviewed Julia Vander Wal's proposal
Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted
brandy lopez
Nov 9, 2011, 6:18:13 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
Review of Maria Chavez Proposal
Her proposal is well stated and she has a lot of details on her topic.
She describes what her phase one and phase two projects projected on,
and what their purpose was. She also describes her goal with her this
project coming up with many more details at hand for the reader. She
wrote about her way of finding g sources and using them, she makes a
statement that she has had practice with the others two projects
before this one, so she feels finding new source isn’t a problem for
her. By reading her proposal it is clear that she understand the main
point and importance of the phase three slideshow, and what to with
it. Marias proposal is great, she touched on the things she needed to,
and provided very detailed explanations. But I do think that it’s a
little too long, and it can be shortened a bit. Other than that,
overall her proposal meets all the requirements, and is very informing
on her work to completing the phase 3 project.
Her proposal is well stated and she has a lot of details on her topic.
She describes what her phase one and phase two projects projected on,
and what their purpose was. She also describes her goal with her this
project coming up with many more details at hand for the reader. She
wrote about her way of finding g sources and using them, she makes a
statement that she has had practice with the others two projects
before this one, so she feels finding new source isn’t a problem for
her. By reading her proposal it is clear that she understand the main
point and importance of the phase three slideshow, and what to with
it. Marias proposal is great, she touched on the things she needed to,
and provided very detailed explanations. But I do think that it’s a
little too long, and it can be shortened a bit. Other than that,
overall her proposal meets all the requirements, and is very informing
on her work to completing the phase 3 project.
Maria Chavez
Nov 9, 2011, 6:19:12 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
Reviewed Brandy's Proposal :)
One of the best elements of my partner’s proposal is the introduction.
The introduction is interesting and it catches the reader’s attention.
The proposal does a good job in explaining what the issue is and why
it is relevant in today’s society. I personally think cursive writing
is a very interesting issue to cover and talk about. My partner’s
methodology is also good. She explains what she is going to be doing
to compile her research for this last phase of the project. Overall
the proposal is a good one. It clearly explains the issue, it
specifies the intended audience, and it also mentions what is going to
done to meet all the requirements for the slideshow and the primary
research.
I did not find any major flaws in the proposal. It is very well
written and it’s easy to follow. The one thing that could probably be
improved is the conclusion. I think it’d be good if my partner
explained how she plans on concluding her research. In other words she
could explain what and discuss some of her findings. Also the one
other part that needs just a little improvement is the references
part. She should try to add a source or two so that she meets the
requirements for the proposal.
One of the best elements of my partner’s proposal is the introduction.
The introduction is interesting and it catches the reader’s attention.
The proposal does a good job in explaining what the issue is and why
it is relevant in today’s society. I personally think cursive writing
is a very interesting issue to cover and talk about. My partner’s
methodology is also good. She explains what she is going to be doing
to compile her research for this last phase of the project. Overall
the proposal is a good one. It clearly explains the issue, it
specifies the intended audience, and it also mentions what is going to
done to meet all the requirements for the slideshow and the primary
research.
I did not find any major flaws in the proposal. It is very well
written and it’s easy to follow. The one thing that could probably be
improved is the conclusion. I think it’d be good if my partner
explained how she plans on concluding her research. In other words she
could explain what and discuss some of her findings. Also the one
other part that needs just a little improvement is the references
part. She should try to add a source or two so that she meets the
requirements for the proposal.
Sarah Addington
Nov 9, 2011, 6:20:36 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
The proposal clearly shows the direction and what he wants to be said
and I understand why he wants to discuss such an important topic as
the current state of the economy. His solution of the problem was not
stated clearly in a preliminary conclusion but he seems to know
himself the solution yet just hasn't spelled it out in his proposal.
Good proposal!
William McCloud
Nov 9, 2011, 6:25:26 PM11/9/11
to ENGL 10500-22
I reviewed Hilary's Proposal. I think that she explained her rationale
behind her planned research very well. I think that if there was
something that I would change, it would be her method of primary
research. I think that if she has the resources to do so, she should
try to interview some of the students. I only say this because she
could see if there is some sense of curiosity about sex.
behind her planned research very well. I think that if there was
something that I would change, it would be her method of primary
research. I think that if she has the resources to do so, she should
try to interview some of the students. I only say this because she
could see if there is some sense of curiosity about sex.
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