Phase One Peer Review

[Rebecca Medley]

Peer Review for Phase One Webtext
Title of Webtext:_________________________________________________
Creator:______________________________Reader:___________________

Begin by reading (“reading” in this context means not just the text,
but following the links, since linking is an integral part of the
text) the draft of your colleague’s Webtext online. Providing
detailed comments will assist your colleague the most. After you
have
carefully examined it, please address the following questions:

Overall Content Concerns

1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point
is
saying, and not the fact that the main point is required).

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you
have
about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an
option.

Reader Concerns

1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present
the issue, explain why.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with
accurate,
timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow
smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences
that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding of
the
Webtext? less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the
relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of
the linked material

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the
writing style of this particular Webtext?

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the
visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font) of
this Webtext.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified
his/her
sources? Identify any places where the citations need clarification
or correction according to APA style.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem
to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction. Explain.

Final Thoughts on the Project

1. What did you learn from your colleague’s project?
3. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?
4. Choose the one change you think is most important for your
colleague to improve his/her project.

Click REPLY, and NOT Reply to Author, and then click SEND

[Delana McCarroll]

Title of Webtext: Phase One Webtext
Creator: Emily Vitalone
Reader: Delana McCarroll

Overall Content Concerns

1) The issue she is addressing the the school day extension in
Illinois.
2) The main point is to explain the 1 and a half school and extension
and its reasoning.
3) The main point is important because it lets the reader know what is
happening and how people are reacting to it.
4) The audience for this piece is anyone whose children are in Chicago
Public Schools or anyone working in the Chicago Public Schools System.
5) The questions I would have are: Which schools have joined the
extension up to date? and How are the students and staff reacting to
the extension?

Reader Concerns

1) The Intro presents the issue by explaining the positive effects of
the 90 minute school day extension
2) Yes, she has 3 sources that are recent and from local sources.
3) All of the text is well written, but maybe the paragraphs should be
separated by subject.
4) The links help understand who Rahm Emanuel and Becky Carroll are
and what they do for the Chicago Public School System and takes you to
the UNO website, which explains in detail what the Organization is
about.
5) I find that the Webtext is straight to the point, which I believe
is a good thing.
6) I find that the Webtext has a very clean visual design. It isn't
overloaded with too many colors and the font is easy to read.
7) The sources are posted at the bottom of the Webtext in APA format.
8) I don't see a preliminary conclusion in this webtext. The last
paragraph explains the pay increase for teachers and total number of
hours added to the school year.

Final Thoughts on the Project

1) I learned that Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel decided to make extend
the school day for CPS by 90 minutes each day and some people are
happy about it, but some are not. Teachers also get a 2% pay increase
and participating schools receive $150,000 to cover extra hiring and
after school programming.
2) I enjoyed reading the reasoning about Rahm Emanuel's decision to
extend the school day.
3) I think the paragraphs should be titled and follow the outline in
more detail. Maybe adding some color or more pictures would be nice
too! Overall, I think it's a great start!


On Sep 26, 4:01 pm, Rebecca Medley <rebeccalynnmed...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[Emily Sams-Vitalone]

Title of Webtext: Phase One

Creator: Delana McCarroll Reader:Emily Sams-Vitalone

Overall Content Concerns
1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

The dangers of smoking, expenses of smoking, and if states are being
fair to those who choose to smoke.

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

How smoking effects your physical and mental health.

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point
is saying, and not the fact that the main point is required).

It is important for people to know what happens to them in every way,
mental or physical, when they smoke cigarettes.

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

The audience would be people who smoke and people who are frequently
around people who smoke

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you
have about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an
option.

How can we spread awareness?

Reader Concerns
1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present the issue, explain why.

Right away she presents a list as to what can happen to you when you
smoke.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with
accurate, timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.

No because there are no in-text citations or references but the anchor
texts are accurate and reliable.

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow
smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences
that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

The ideas flow fine they just need to be expanded on.

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding
of
the Webtext? less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the
relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of
the linked material

Smokefree.gov was a very helpful anchor text because it gave accurate
and reliable information on the issue at hand.

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective)
about
the writing style of this particular Webtext?

It was helpful because she explained what each section is about by
giving each individual paragraph a title.

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective)
about
the visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font)
of
this Webtext.

It looks like a normal website.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified
his/her sources? Identify any places where the citations need
clarification
or correction according to APA style.

Right now, there are no sources.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction.
Explain.

It is definitely drawn from research.

Final Thoughts on the Project
1. What did you learn from your colleague’s project?

I now know more of what can happen in some specific situations such as
pregnancy, the cost of cigarettes, and where smoking is banned.

3. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?

The cost of cigarettes and where smoking in banned was most
interesting in my opinion.

4. Choose the one change you think is most important for your
colleague to improve his/her project.

Just expanding more on the subjects and adding references.

[Eric Jorgensen]

1. The issue of the American debt and how to attempt to fix it.
2. The main point is that NOT spending money is in fact hurting he
US economy.
3. Clearly this is an issue that affects everyone in the US as well
as many major countries. It may not seem currently to affect us but
that is because this is just the beginning.
4. Audience would be: US citizens. Those people who intend to save
money and just on it. Politicians who feel the US cannot be fixed by
stimulus spending. and those that feel just another stimulus package
will save us.
5. My main question would be why did the first stimulus package not
work. With interest rates at an all time low and money being given to
us from the gov why have businesses begun to cut back workers.

1. The intro very boldly states that the US is in the middle of a
decline and states several reasons why.
2. Yes all of the sources used are very reputable and current
sources.
3. All in all everything flowed very well. The only issue that I
would say is that you should use at least one graph. EVERYONE loves
graphs. They explain tons of information incredibly quickly.
4. There where not a large amount of links and the ones provided
where to sources whose information was already used. Normally I would
say that this could be an issue making your page dull and drab but
lets face it your audience was centered on people who love politics so
they like dull and drab. Possibly add a link to the 2009 stimulus
package showing how exactly it was divided out.
5. The writing style is current with other political based news paper
and article I have red. So it works well.
6. The images are all political cartoons. Since this is a political
piece they are a perfect fit for the paper. In addition the basic
layout is nice. It gives it a newpaper feel.
7. The sources are identified exactly at the end in the citations and
reference through out the piece.
8. It seems to be a bit of both. Opinion as well as based on
information found.


1. I actually learned many things about the US economy.
2. I would say that the thing i enjoyed most was the bit on how we
normally lower interest rates and we cannot because they are already a
rock bottom almost.
3. One large change I would do is to explain why the interest rates
being so low isnt helping.

[Kayla McCoy]

Peer Review for Phase One Webtext

Title of Webtext:_Revision to the american education system____
Creator:__Eric Johansen______Reader:__Kayla McCoy_____

Begin by reading (“reading” in this context means not just the text,
but following the links, since linking is an integral part of the
text) the draft of your colleague’s Webtext online. Providing
detailed comments will assist your colleague the most. After you
have
carefully examined it, please address the following questions:

Overall Content Concerns

1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

The issue he is exploring is how to make schools and the education
better.

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

The main point he is making is that if the US wants to be better in
education something major needs to be done.

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point
is saying, and not the fact that the main point is required).

The main point is important because it helps determine what exactly he
wants to say for the paper.

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

I think the audience he is trying to reach would be the state and
local government as well as tax payers.

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you
have about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an
option.

Is there anything else that parents and teachers can do to help with
fixing low income schools?

Reader Concerns

1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present the issue, explain why.

The intro is very good with leading the paper into what can be done to
fix the problem at hand.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with

accurate,timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.
Yes the sources are accurate and they are less than a couple years old
as well as the source seems creditable.

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow
smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences
that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

I couldn't really find any.

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding of
the Webtext? less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the
relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of
the linked material

I didn't really find the NCES link very helpful because once you got
to it you may have to hit a couple more links to all the info you
want. I did find the Switzerland and Finland link helpful and fun.

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the writing style of this particular Webtext?

I really like that he sounded very educated on the topic it sounded
like he knew what he was talking about and enjoyed talking about it,
but you didn't use to big of words to make it sound that way.

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font)
of
this Webtext.

I liked the way he used the pictured to get the point across, the
background could have used some color but other thank that it was
good.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified

his/hersources? Identify any places where the citations need

clarification
or correction according to APA style.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction. Explain.

It had facts in it and really tried to lead you to make your own
opinion.

Final Thoughts on the Project

1. What did you learn from your colleague’s project?

I learned that are education ways and schools really need some major
help.

3. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?

I really liked the way he used his pictures to make a point and that
he really sounded like he was educated on what he was talking about.

4. Choose the one change you think is most important for your
colleague to improve his/her project.

I enjoyed reading this a lot but i do think that you could find some
better links to use.

[Terrell Frank]

Peer Review for Phase One Webtext

Title of Webtext:___Out With The Old And In With The
New____________________________________________
Creator:____________Brandy Lopez__________________Reader:__Terrell
Frank_________________

Begin by reading (“reading” in this context means not just the text,
but following the links, since linking is an integral part of the
text) the draft of your colleague’s Webtext online. Providing
detailed comments will assist your colleague the most. After you
have
carefully examined it, please address the following questions:
Overall Content Concerns
1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

The issue Brandy is exploring is the disappearance of cursive
handwriting.

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

The thesis is that we need to continue to teach cursive writing in
schools.

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point
is
saying, and not the fact that the main point is required).

It is important because cursive handwriting has such an importance of
an individual.

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

The audience of this piece is the parents, teacher, and school systems
who believe cursive writing is a lost cause.

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you
have
about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an
option.

What would the author do to convince people that cursive writing
should stay in the school systems?

Reader Concerns
1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present
the issue, explain why.

The intro tells the history of cursive writing and then tells how
cursive writing is disappearing.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with
accurate,
timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.

Yes, the sources are reliable and give good creditability to what she
is saying .

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow
smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences
that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

There are a few sentences that need to be restructured.

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding of
the
Webtext? less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the
relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of
the linked material

The links I found most helpful was the one from ABC news

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the
writing style of this particular Webtext?

I found that the way she gave history to back all of her items really
made it effective.

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the
visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font) of
this Webtext.

The backgrounds colors/ text colors/ choice of font drive you into
reading the story.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified
his/her
sources? Identify any places where the citations need clarification
or correction according to APA style.

The author really didn’t use citations in story.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem
to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction. Explain.

It is more of an opinion

Final Thoughts on the Project
1. What did you learn from your colleague’s project?

I learned that cursive writing needs to stay being taught in school
systems

3. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?

What I enjoyed most was that the different pictures and hypertext
the author added

4. Choose the one change you think is most important for your
colleague to improve his/her project.

Just improve some of the sentence structures

On Sep 26, 4:01 pm, Rebecca Medley <rebeccalynnmed...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[Jorge Campos]

1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

Sex Education at school.

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

The importance of sex ed in early education

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point

is saying, and not the fact that the main point is required). The main
point is that children should be taught sex ed as early as elementary
school so that outside influence do not cloud or influence their
judgement.

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

The audience for this work would be parents, educators and education
officials.

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you have
about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an

option. Reader Concerns.
What does the data show as far as the statistics of teen sexual
activity today versus the past. Is there any information provided by
child mental health professionals on what are the possible causes for
teen sexual activity.

1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present the issue, explain why.

The introduction grabs your attention by bring up topic that some
consider taboo; sex. After words however the piece seems to jump
straight in to the body of the text without laying out what the
problem is.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with
accurate, timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.

No. sources include links to a editorial from a news paper and
articles of certain incidents of teen moms. There isn't any
information from professionals like childhood psychologists,
pediatricians and or teachers. The majority of the work is opinion.

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow
smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences
that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

The web text is a linear from start to finish. there isn't any
subtopics between paragraphs that dictate what the following
paragraphs is about.

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding
of
the Webtext? less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the
relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of

the linked material.
The only link is about teen mom and it sends you to the shows website.
It fails to provide any further information regarding the material of
the webtext's main point.

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective)
about
the writing style of this particular Webtext?

The web text does not separate any of the web text's subtopics

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the
visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font) of

this Webtext. the color layout worked well with the subject matter.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified
his/her sources? Identify any places where the citations need
clarification
or correction according to APA style.

The majority of the web text is opinion so there is little room for
citation.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction.
Explain.

The majority seems to be opinion I did not see any research that
reinforced the opinion expressed in this text.

Final Thoughts on the Project
1. What did you learn from your colleague’s project?

nothing new, only the opinion of the author.

3. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?

the first picture.

4. Choose the one change you think is most important for your

colleague to improve his/her project. Research information from
credible professionals in the field and or any data showing how the
shows like teen mom have affected teen sexual activity.

On Sep 26, 4:01 pm, Rebecca Medley <rebeccalynnmed...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[Maria Chavez]

Peer Review for Phase One Webtext

Title of Webtext:___________________NoChild Left Behind
Law______________________________
Creator:_______Terrel
Frankl_______________________Reader:________Maria Chavez___________

Begin by reading (“reading” in this context means not just the text,
but following the links, since linking is an integral part of the
text) the draft of your colleague’s Webtext online. Providing
detailed comments will assist your colleague the most. After you
have
carefully examined it, please address the following questions:
Overall Content Concerns
1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

He is exploring the 'No Child Left Behind Law.'

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

His thesis is that there are both pros and cons to the law.

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point
is saying, and not the fact that the main point is required).

The main point is important because that is what gives flavor to the
project. his main point is imporatnt because the law is affecting many
students' future since they are being passed on to another grade
without ven being ready to move on.

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

I think that the audience is probably composed of students, parents,
and teachers. Why? Because I am sure they are all concerned about the
law since it affects them and has something to do with them.

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you
have about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an
option.

The main question I have right now is how is he going to conclude his
work? I want to and feel teased to know how he is going to conclude it
all. Also, I would like to know what do teachers think about the law?
Are they pro or against it?

Reader Concerns
1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present the issue, explain why.

I think my partner’s introduction is well written. The issue is
clearly introduced. Also, it is interesting and it catches the
reader’s attention. From the beginning I get an idea of what the rest
of the webtext is going to be about.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with
accurate, timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.

I believe my colleague has supported his work with accurate and
reliable sources. The sources serve to enhance the issue, and they are
easy to understand too. Although the product is not complete, the
sources that are provided seem to be authoritative and believable.

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow
smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences
that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

” Some of the children that need…” –I think this sentence is somewhat
confusing. It probably needs to be revised and reworded.
Overall, I think that the webtext needs to be amended a little bit.
For the most part the ideas are clear, but since the text is not
divided into small chunks some of the information is overwhelming.
It’d be better if my colleague presented his ideas in separate
paragraphs or chunks of information.

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding
of

the Webtext? Less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the

relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of

the linked material.

Both of the links presented in the webtext were useful. They allow for
further understanding of the issue and what’s being talked about.
There is nothing negative to be said about the links on the webtext.
The only thing that I will say is that maybe a couple more links
should be added.

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective)
about
the writing style of this particular Webtext?

My colleague’s writing style is easy to understand and to read. The
only problem that I see with it is that the information presented is
not divided. There are a couple of ideas that are mixed in in the same
paragraph instead of being presented alone in divided paragraphs. I
think that it is not effective to present information in big chunks
because then the reading gets tiresome and people get bored
sometimes.

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the
visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font) of
this Webtext.

Both the color and the size of the font are okay. The white font
perfectly stands out and is easy to read. The only problem I see is
that to better emphasize a topic or an idea, all titles or subtitles
should be in a larger font than the rest of the text so that it stands
out. The color of the background is also great. The black background
allows the white font to stand out even more—this makes it easy to
read.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified
his/her sources? Identify any places where the citations need
clarification
or correction according to APA style.

So far there are no citations on my colleagues webtext so I cannot
really say anything about that. There are links, but there are no
citations.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction.
Explain.

What was provided to me on the webtext is well written and supported,
but it is not completely done. There is no preliminary conclusion to
be critiqued or evaluated. Even though there is no clear conclusion,
it seems that the webtext is on its way of being well concluded.

Final Thoughts on the Project

1.What did you learn from your colleague’s project?
2. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?
3. Choose the one change you think is most important for your

colleague to improve his/her project.

Overall, I learned that there are both pros and cons to the ‘No Child
Left Behind’ issue. I knew that some people were against it but I did
not know why so it enriched my knowledge on the issue. I did imagine
or see the negative impact that the issue is having on students who
are just passed to the net grade level when they are not even ready to
move on.
The element I enjoyed the most about my colleagues project is the
writing style (diction) because it is easy to understand, and I also
enjoyed the contrast between the background and the font.
The one thing that needs to be improved and worked on is the size of
the paragraphs. I think that the information should be divided into
smaller chunks. Also, I think that the ideas should be separated and
presented on their own rather than having several ideas being talked
about in one paragraph.

Click REPLY, and NOT Reply to Author, and then click SEND

On Sep 26, 4:01 pm, Rebecca Medley <rebeccalynnmed...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[brandy lopez]

Peer Review for Phase One Webtext

Title of Webtext: Bilingual Education Programs
Creator: Maria Chavez
Reader: Brandy Lopez

Overall Content Concerns
1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

• She is exploring bilingualism and how some people are against it and
others are for it.

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

• That if the dispute keep s going on whether or not bilingual classes
should be taught and offered than it could end up bad for those who
want to learn English.

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point is
saying, and not the fact that the main point is required).

• It’s important because if bilingual classes become disbanded then
there will be a lot of people affected by it. People who are trying to
learn English will have a hard time learning our language because they
will have no help and/or lack of hands-on sources to learn the
language.

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

• It sounds like the webtext is directed to the parties on both sides
of the issue. Such as people who agree with the bilingual classes,
teachers of the classes, students, and parents of the students. It is
also pointed to those who are against the classes. It shows both sides
of the argument, with valid points.

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you have
about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an
option.

• Is there a middle ground that can be established? Such as keeping
the classes, but cutting down costs?

Reader Concerns
1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present the issue, explain why.

• It shows the statistics of the issue at hand. It does present the
issue towards the end of the introduction very well.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with
accurate, timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.

• There were no references so I could not check all of her sources,
but the link that I had clicked on did show very reliable sources,
based on the fact that they were government texts.

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow

Smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences

that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

• Everything seems to be flowing except in the subheading “Funding for
Bilingual Education programs” the last paragraph that starts with
“Also, some parents…” This sentence seems to be irrelevant to her sub-
heading and it would be better placed somewhere else.

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding of
the Webtext? less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the
relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of
the linked material

• I really liked her first link labeled as “Bilingualism”. It shows a
detailed definition of the word, which is very important to have an
understanding of if your going to be reading a whole webtext based on
that word. It also showed details of why it’s important, how it is,
who usually becomes bilingual, etc.

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about

the writing style of this particular webtext?
• I like the organization of the webtext. It first gives you a basic
overview of the topic, then how the topic is used in todays’ society,
next is why it’s considered an issue today, and lastly, then good and
bad portion of the issue, supporting each side.

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font)
of this Webtext.

• The colors of the webtext are very formal with the red, white, and
black. I like these colors because it is easy to read. The anchor
links seem to light to see at times, but other than that the colors
are perfect for the occasion.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified
his/her sources? Identify any places where the citations need
clarification or correction according to APA style.

• There are no in-text citations or references.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction.
Explain.

• It seems to be both researched based along with knowledge already
known about the topic.

Final Thoughts on the Project
1. What did you learn from your colleague’s project?

• Well the topic itself I did not know that the bilingual classes
being around was even a problem, but now I know.

3. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?

• I really like the topic because I was learning something knew and
the way it was organized caught my eye because it shows a good thing
and then it tells you that there is an issue with this type of
education, and it makes you wonder why there is a disagreement.

4. Choose the one change you think is most important for your
colleague to improve his/her project.

• She should see if there can be a middle ground that can be set for
both sides of the argument. That way both sides can be satisfied.

On Sep 26, 4:01 pm, Rebecca Medley <rebeccalynnmed...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[Maria Chavez]

Peer Review for Phase One Webtext

Title of Webtext:___________________NoChild Left Behind
Law______________________________
Creator:_______Terrel
Frankl_______________________Reader:________Maria Chavez___________

Begin by reading (“reading” in this context means not just the text,
but following the links, since linking is an integral part of the
text) the draft of your colleague’s Webtext online. Providing
detailed comments will assist your colleague the most. After you
have
carefully examined it, please address the following questions:
Overall Content Concerns
1. What issue is your colleague exploring in his/her Webtext?

He is exploring the 'No Child Left Behind Law.

2. What is the main point (thesis)?

His main point is that the law has both pros and cons and that it is
affecting the students' future since many are passed on to higher
grade levels when they're not ready to move on.

3. Why is this main point important (respond to what the main point
is
saying, and not the fact that the main point is required).

The main point is important because the issue is something that is
affecting many students. The is controversial and it needs to looked
upon and changed.

4. From the tone, voice, style, and main point, who is the audience
for this piece? It may not be who your colleague has identified as an
audience. Be specific.

I think the suitable audience for his webtext are students, parents
and teachers since they all are being and could further be affected by
the law.

5. Having fully examined the complete text, what questions do you
have
about the topic or the project? Not asking a question is not an
option.
Reader Concerns
1. How does the introduction present the issue? If it doesn’t
present the issue, explain why.

I think my partner’s introduction is well written. The issue is
clearly introduced. Also, it is interesting and it catches the
reader’s attention. From the beginning I get an idea of what the rest
of the webtext is going to be about.

2. Has your colleague supported all of his/her work with
accurate, timely, authoritative and reliable sources? Explain.

I believe my colleague has supported his work with accurate and
reliable sources. The sources serve to enhance the issue, and they are
easy to understand too. Although the product is not complete, the
sources that are provided seem to be authoritative and believable.

3. Identify places within the text where the ideas did not flow
smoothly from one to another. For example, are there any sentences
that don’t seem to make sense with preceding or following sentences?

” Some of the children that need…” –I think this sentence is somewhat
confusing. It probably needs to be revised and reworded.
Overall, I think that the webtext needs to be amended a little bit.
For the most part the ideas are clear, but since the text is not
divided into small chunks some of the information is overwhelming.
It’d be better if my colleague presented his ideas in separate
paragraphs or chunks of information.

4. Which links did you find most helpful to your understanding
of

the Webtext? Less helpful? Explain your choices by referring to the

relevance of the link to its anchor as well as the overall quality of

the linked material.
Both of the links presented in the webtext were useful. They allow for
further understanding of the issue and what’s being talked about.
There is nothing negative to be said about the links on the webtext.
The only thing that I will say is that maybe a couple more links
should be added.

5. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective)
about
the writing style of this particular Webtext?

My colleague’s writing style is easy to understand and to read. The
only problem that I see with it is that the information presented is
not divided. There are a couple of ideas that are mixed in in the same
paragraph instead of being presented alone in divided paragraphs. I
think that it is not effective to present information in big chunks
because then the reading gets tiresome and people get bored
sometimes.

6. What do you find particularly effective (or ineffective) about
the
visual design (choice of background/text colors, choice of font) of
this Webtext.

Both the color and the size of the font are okay. The white font
perfectly stands out and is easy to read. The only problem I see is
that to better emphasize a topic or an idea, all titles or subtitles
should be in a larger font than the rest of the text so that it stands
out. The color of the background is also great. The black background
allows the white font to stand out even more—this makes it easy to
read.

7. Where in this Webtext has the author has clearly identified
his/her sources? Identify any places where the citations need
clarification
or correction according to APA style.

So far there are no citations on my colleagues webtext so I cannot
really say anything about that. There are links, but there are no
citations.

8. Is the preliminary conclusion drawn from research, or does it
seem to be opinion, or is it just repeating the introduction.
Explain.

What was provided to me on the webtext is well written and supported,
but it is not completely done. There is no preliminary conclusion to
be critiqued or evaluated. Even though there is no clear conclusion,
it seems that the webtext is on its way of being well concluded.

Final Thoughts on the Project
1. What did you learn from your colleague’s project?
3. What did you enjoy most about your colleague’s project?
4. Choose the one change you think is most important for your
colleague to improve his/her project.

Overall, I learned that there are both pros and cons to the ‘No Child
Left Behind’ issue. I knew that some people were against it but I did
not know why so it enriched my knowledge on the issue. I did imagine
or see the negative impact that the issue is having on students who
are just passed to the net grade level when they are not even ready to
move on.
The element I enjoyed the most about my colleagues project is the
writing style (diction) because it is easy to understand, and I also
enjoyed the contrast between the background and the font.
The one thing that needs to be improved and worked on is the size of
the paragraphs. I think that the information should be divided into
smaller chunks. Also, I think that the ideas should be separated and
presented on their own rather than having several ideas being talked
about in one paragraph.

Click REPLY, and NOT Reply to Author, and then click SEND

On Sep 26, 4:01 pm, Rebecca Medley <rebeccalynnmed...@gmail.com>
wrote: