Shrek Walking Across Screen

[Brigitta Martini]

WhenI came across the next machine I was a little surprised to see that they also had these new 8-design touch screen versions. The machine supplies the coin which is technically not a penny but a blank token. The finished coins came out nice and shiny and were all themed around Despicable Me and the Minions.

Another four design hand crank model had images of Spongebob & Patrick, Homer Simpson, and two Marvel Character. Now it was time to start heading further into the park. Just up the main street I stopped in at the Silver Screen collectibles.

These coin designs were the same as when I visited last, but the machine had received a face lift with new signage. The images on these coins were from I Love Lucy, and Betty Boop. Back out on the street I saw a very interesting looking building that was from the Despicable Me movies.

Inside is where you can experience Minion Mayhem which is an interesting attraction, but if you suffer from motion sickness may want to either up your Dramamine dose or skip it. When you exit the ride as all great theme parks do you need to pass through a related gift shop. This store is called Super Silly Stuff.

This was another unique design for the penny machine. Due to the top part of the machine it was a little hard to turn the hand crank properly. Also this machine is located in a terrible area along the only pathway exiting the ride through the middle of the store. So as you try to use the machine there are large herds of people exiting constantly with not much room on either side to let them by. With the coins in hand I exited and saw something that brought me right back to childhood.

I was a huge Transformers fan as a kid, watching the cartoon and having every toy I could get my hands on. Seeing Optimus Prime standing on the building just drew me over. The ride is pretty awesome, and is in 3-D while you are driven through a battle of Autobots and Decepticons. When you leave of course you are ushered through the Supply Vault.

At first I was worried this would be the same set that I got out at the Parking HUB, but the designs were different and amazingly detailed for how small they are. I had kind of my way into the middle of the park and lost my initial path. When hunting for penny machines I always try to walk in a way that ensures I access every possible nook and cranny without having to double back to often. There was a little pathway that got me back over towards the I Love Lucy store which is right where I needed to be.

Just behind the Storepants is where you find the E.T. ride. Another guilty pleasure of mine which I have no issue standing in line for. I only had to wait about 15 minutes to get on my bike and travel with E.T. back to his planet to help save it. Be sure to pick up your souvenir pennies by the doors to the gift shop on your way out.

Inside they have a second machine with three designs in an electric machine. Also with all Simpson inspired designs. After grabbing a Duff Beer (actually really good) I was sad to say goodbye to Springfield but had a lot more places to go.

[Inside somewhere dark, the camera closes on a beautiful storybook. A stream of light cuts through the darkness illuminating a beautiful but worn book. The book opens revealing a picture of lovely princess running over a field with a fairy-tale castle in the background.]

[Shrek flushes his toilet. Shrek comes out of the out-house. He picks his underwear from his butt and notices a page of the book stuck to his foot. He shakes it off. Looking up he admires his house. Proud, happy and content. Shrek walks out of frame and shuts his outhouse.]

[A bucket goes into mud and splashes two puddles of green water turning into the film's title. Shrek puts the bucket on the hook, takes off his clothes, pulled the rope, mud land on his butt, takes a mud shower and then he rinses his mouth with mud and spits it out forming it into the word Mike Myers.]

[Shrek grabs a bug from his toiletry jar, squeezes it on to a bone and proceeds to clean his teeth. He checks his smile and the mirror cracks, making him even happier. The mirror shards fell showing the Eddie Murphy word.]

[Shrek jumps into a mucky swamp pond, we see the orge tooting on the water bubbling and a relieved look on Shrek's face. Dead fish float belly up, Shrek turns and grabs one of them while showing Cameron Diaz's name on the pond.]

[Shrek is painting. Delicately creating what seems to be a beautiful vista. He takes the painting from the easel and hammers a stick to the back. As he walks off with it we see that it's a "Beware" sign.]

SHREK: [continued; starts nonchalant and build] Now ogres... Oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.

[Shrek leans away, avoiding the torch and watching James with casual indifference. When James is done with waving, he holds the torch threateningly in front of him. Shrek moistens his thumb and forefinger and reaching forward, snuffs out the torch.]

[The camera closes on a dwarf behind bars being hauled away in a wagon. The camera widens to reveal a guard leading off shackled dwarves as a farmer collects the coins from the table. Sitting behind is a captain of the guards dolling out reward money notating the trades. This is one of Lord Farquaad's trading posts.]

[The second guard takes her away. The second farmer collects his reward and walks past a line of people waiting to sell their prisoners: Two villagers with elves, an old man named Geppetto with Pinocchio, an old woman with a Donkey, a boy named Peter Pan with a glowing fairy named Tinker Bell in a cage and a burly peasant with the three little pigs named Heimlich, Dieter and Horst.]

[As the farmer passes, the pan stops on Donkey, his muzzle tied with rope. He looks around nervously. He sees the witch carted off in a wagon with the dwarves. Hearing a cry, he turns to see Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear in cages. Baby Bear reaches for his mother as their cages are dragged apart.]

[As she struggles, the old woman accidentally kicks the caged Tinker Bell from Peter Pan's hand. The cage goes flying through the air. It lands on Donkey's head, exploding pixie dust all over him. He's shocked at first, but smiles, realizing...]

[Shrek is hanging a 'Keep Out' sign, he looks down at Donkey. He and Shrek regard each other for a moment. Then the guards round the corner and stop at the sight of Shrek. Donkey darts behind the ogre.]

[Shrek continues on his way, not noticing the little donkey following at a distance behind him, trying to work up the courage to speak. Whenever Shrek turns, the Donkey darts behind a tree. Finally, Shrek spins and sees him.]

DONKEY: [fast] Yes! I was talkin' to you. Can I just tell you, you was really great back there, man those guards they thought they was all that! Then you showed up and ...BAM! They were tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. See that, that really made me feel good to see that.

DONKEY: But uh... I don't have any friends. And I am not going out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute I got a great idea, I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us!

DONKEY: Shrek? [shakes it off] Well, you know what I like about you Shrek? You got that kind of "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. I like that, I respect that Shrek. You all right.

DONKEY: [nervous] You know I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in their face, and you try to give them a hint, and they won't leave, and then there's that big, awkward silence, you know.

DONKEY: [o.s.; continued] I mean I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey, I was born outside. You know I'll just be sittin' by myself outside, I guess. You know. By myself, outside. [singing to himself] I'm all alone; there's no one here beside me...!

[Shrek hears skittering. A shadow flits by. He spins to look. Suddenly there is a crash and he whips around to see three blind mice stumbling around on his dinner table. Mouse 1 gestures as he peaks, knocking over Shrek's jar of eyeballs.]

[As Shrek turns to throw them out, he's hit by something from behind. Startled, Shrek drops the mice and they escape past the Seven Dwarves who have just shoved Snow White, in her glass coffin, onto the table.]

[Shrek goes to throw the wolf out the front door. As he opens the door we rack focus over his shoulder to a teeming sea of fairy tale creatures. Shrek gets worried as he begins to register what he sees.]

[A woodstock-like morass of fairy tale creatures have filled the swamp. Refugee tents are everywhere; the Pied Piper camps with his rats next to the Old Lady Who Lives in a Show and her brood. The three bears huddle around a campfire with several of Santa's elves. Everywhere dwarves, fairies and unicorns have grouped around fires. The swamp is packed to the rafters.]

[The camera closes on a glass of milk being poured by Lord Farquaad's torturer, Thelonious. Intercut with the large as life Lord Farquaad striding in slow-motion through the halls of DuLoc Castle. Farquaad enters, Thelonious has his back to us.]

[Thelonious spins around revealing he has been torturing the Gingerbread Man, Gingy. Close on the table, as Gingy is thrown down on a cooking tray. Gingy coughs and hacks. Farquaad strolls up to the executioner, revealing that he is only about four-and-a-half feet. He approaches a table in the center of the room, his hat just visible above the table.]

[Herb Albert's Tijuana Taxi kicks in. Magic Mirror gestures to one side and camera pans to reveal three shadowy portraits of Cinderella, Snow White and Princess Fiona. Camera shows portrait of Cinderella.]

MAGIC MIRROR: [continued] Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime! Her hobbies include cooking cleaning for her two evil sisters! Please welcome, Cinderella!

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