When we are satisfied with our life, we do not look for experiences of winning and losing to define our self-worth.
The urges that drive us to compete with others tend to be
straightforward. Years of both evolution and societal influences have
shaped us to pit ourselves against our peers. The needs and desires that
inspire us to compete with ourselves, however, are entirely
personal and thus far more complex. A need to outdo our earlier
efforts--to confirm that we have grown as individuals--can motivate us
to reach new heights of accomplishment. We are capable of using our past
achievements as a foundation from which we venture
confidently into the unknown. Yet if this drive to compete with our
former selves is the result of low self-worth or a need to prove
ourselves to others, even glowing successes can feel disheartening.
Examining why we compete with ourselves enables us to positively
identify those contests that will enrich our existence.
There are many reasons we strive to outdo ourselves. When we are
ambitious in our quest for growth, we are driven to set and meet our own
expectations. We do not look to external experiences of winning and
losing to define our sense of self-worth. Rather, we
are our own judges and coaches, monitoring our progress and gauging how
successful we have become. Though we seek the thrill of accomplishment
tirelessly, we do so out of a legitimate need to improve the world or to
pave the way for those who will follow in
our footsteps. Be careful, though, that your competitiveness is not the
result of an unconscious need to show others that you are capable of
meeting and then exceeding their standards.
Consider, too, that successful efforts that would be deemed more than
good enough when evaluated from an external perspective may not satisfy
our inner judge, who can drive us ruthlessly.
In order to attain
balance, we have to learn the art of patience even as we strive to
achieve our highest vision of who we are. When we feel drained, tense,
or unhappy as we pursue our goals, it may be that we are
pushing ourselves for the wrong reasons. Our enthusiasm for our
endeavors will return as soon as we recall that authentic evolution is a
matter not of winning but of taking pride in our progress at any pace.