Non-umental 15-mile virtual race (team coaches, please forward!)

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Nathaniel Day

Jun 15, 2020, 3:22:34 PM6/15/20
to, Andrew Chen, Andrew Soles, Andrey Drachenko, Bill Woodruff, Blaise Rhodes, Blaise Rhodes, Bob Ludke, Bob Walsh, Brendan O'Callaghan, Brooke Linford, Bryan Fenton, Burton Heiss, Carlo Veloso, Charlie Johnson, Chris Chiras, Chris Zimmerman,, Dale Andrade, Dan Havens, Dan Havens, Doug Brooks, Edward Rackley, EJ Haught, Erin Kampschroer, George Smawley, Ian Carpenter, Ivan Gale, Jan, Joe Przyuski, Joel Clement, John Parker, Joseph Cafferata (sp?), Kyle Kosinski, Lowell Zeta, Luke Rhodes, Martin Lowenfish, Matt Gammon, Mike Grachev, Mirek Podloch, Noah Marble, Paul Flack, Peter Swiek, Quincy Ayscue, Rob Bowman, Russell Lazarus, Sean Havens, Shane Rye, Shannon, Steve Lee, Tim Manning, Tim Summers, Tom Cooney, Tom Dziadkowiec, Travis Morioka, Will Rhodes, Yoon Nam, Kelly Rhodes HOME, Dariusz Oborski, KATHY LESH - SUMMERS, Kathleen McNamee, ECORA
Announcing the very first and hopefully only ever "Non-umental", the second "race" in the 2020 non-racing season!* 
(*Hopefully to be replaced by some actual races in late summer or early fall.)

We have reached mid-June, when NCA Outrigger usually hosts Monumental, the first OC6 race on the east coast. It's been rescheduled for mid-October, so I propose we run Non-umental instead. While it won't be a regular race, hopefully it can provide an opportunity for folks to stay together while apart, get some exercise and competition, have some fun, and raise a little money for charity. Here's how it'll work...

Non-umental will be a 15-mile virtual race (with optional 10-mile courses for SUP, running, and rec kayak, and anyone else who's not ready for 15 miles). Hey, wait a minute -- Monumental is usually only 12 miles for men and women, and 9 for the mixed division! Well, it's 7.5 miles between the two outrigger clubs in DC, so there you go.  There will be awards in divisions for all water-, land-, and basement-based forms of human-powered locomotion: OC1, OC2 (multi-household pairs now okay as part of DC's reopening phase 1), SUP, surf ski, sprint kayak, sprint canoe, sea kayak, rec kayak, C1, C2 (multi-household pairs okay), paddle erg, rowing erg, running on foot, road bike, mountain bike, stationary bike, Rollerblades, NordicTrac, snowshoe, pedal-powered ultralight aircraft... 

Here's how you enter and compete: 
1. Either this Saturday or Sunday (6/20-21), do 15 miles as fast as you can via human-powered transport on what you judge to be a fair course. Time yourself. 
2. If you wish, make a donation to Jose Andres' World Central Kitchen or a similar charity of your choice, or convince others to do the same in your name -- this in lieu of a race entry fee (see "Adjusted Time" below for an added incentive to give and recruit others to donate in your name).
3. Then, submit your name, gender affiliation (open, women's, or mixed -- 2-person same household pairs only), age class (junior, open, masters, senior masters, golden masters, platinum masters, generation gap), division (see above), donation amount (if any), and time via this Google form

If you would like to race from WCC or NCA, see below for the course. Thankfully, we are now able to paddle in groups larger than four craft. If you're paddling, team up with folks approximately your speed to pace and race each other!

The course from WCC is as follows: downstream from WCC club seal on the DC side of Roosevelt Island to Hains Point and up the Anacostia to the Pennsylvania Ave bridge (the one right below NCA's boathouse, 3rd bridge/set of bridges as you head upstream); round an abutment of the Penn Ave bridge and return to WCC, again on the DC side of Roosevelt Island. 

The course from NCA is as follows: downstream from NCA to Hains Point and up the Potomac, staying on the DC side of Roosevelt Island, turning around the furthest-right abutment of Key Bridge as you head upstream; head downstream, staying on the DC side of Roosevelt again, to return to NCA. 

Hit hard and stay safe. I look forward to not seeing all of you on the water next weekend, but to receiving your race information and time. (I do look forward to seeing all of you on the water in the hopefully not-too-distant future.) See below for added competitive wrinkles.

Nate (who will finish sending out trophy images for Non-umental as soon as end-of-teaching-year things permit)
"This all sounds simple enough -- isn't there some way we could complicate this to make it more fun and confusing?" --But of course! There are three ways race times will be evaluated: 
1. Course time against other competitors in the same division, age, etc.
2. Adjusted time against other competitors in the same division, age, etc.
3. Grand Sweepstakes against all other competitors across all divisions within the same gender affiliation.

1. Course time -- how long it took the competitor to complete the course

2. Adjusted time -- one minute will be subtracted from your time for every $10 you donate or raise for Jose Andres' World Central Kitchen or a similar charity -- again, this is instead of a race entry fee. Proof of donation not required, just truthfully attest to your fundraising amount when submitting your name, time, and other info when you submit your other registration info to the Google form (see above)

3. Grand Sweepstakes -- adjusted times from all divisions, age classes, etc. will be stacked up against each other using the conversion chart (see below) to produce Grand Sweepstakes Non-umental first, second, and third place winners

Grand Sweepstakes Time Conversions (this is FYI; please submit your course time only and the race director's daughter, age 9, will perform the conversion calculations -- conversion calculations are somewhat arbitrary and capricious and may not be completely fair -- not unlike life)
If you are racing...
OC1, standard/marathon C2, sea kayak: no time adjustment made
sprint C1, paddle erg: 8:25 will be added to your time
OC2, sprint kayak, sprint C2, solo surf ski, running: 25 added
K2 (sprint or ski), rowing erg: 41:30 added
mountain bike: 83 minutes added
road bike, stationary bike: 108 minutes added
SUP, rec kayak: 50 minutes will be subtracted from your time OR paddle a 10-mile course instead of 15 (please self-report)
marathon C1: 16:36 subtracted
other: make me an offer

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