Preamble (skip if you want to get to the race announcement)
Back in February, I thought I would spend this weekend jealously watching online while teammates crossed the finish line of the Queen Lili'uokalani Canoe Race on the leeward side of the Big Island of Hawai'i, while making final preparations for travel to California and the Washington Canoe Club's first entries in the unlimited division at the Catalina Crossing the following weekend. That's not where we are.
While the thought of buying a six-pack of Ballast Point Sculpin and watching Tahitian V6 races on YouTube while wallowing in self-pity did have its appeals, I decided to organize another virtual race instead. So, here's an official announcement for the first and hopefully only ever
*Whether you actually cross anything is up to you
--A virtual race for any human-powered means of transport, completed over any of three distances:
A. Short course -- a single 12-mile race
B. Stage race -- 3 legs, broken into 3 10-mile (or thereabouts) pieces that are all completed between Sept. 5 and Sept. 20 (total distance must equal at least 30 miles)
C. Long course -- a single 30(+) mile race (Woo-hoo!)
I am planning to opt for #3, and will circumnavigate Kent Island in the Chesapeake Bay on Saturday, September 12 on an OC1. If you're in the greater Chesapeake area and would like to join me, please reach out to me at this email address (nathan...@gmail.com) --
it'll be fun you'll be proud of yourself once you've done it!
Here's how you enter and compete:
1. Do your race, as fast as you can via the human-powered means of transport of your choice.
2. If you wish, make a donation to Jose Andres' World Central Kitchen, the Capital Area Food Bank, or a similar charity of your choice, or convince others to do the same in your name -- this in lieu of a race entry fee (see "Adjusted Time" below for an added incentive to give and recruit others to donate in your name).
3. Submit your name, gender affiliation (open, women's, or mixed), age class (junior, open, masters, senior masters, golden masters, platinum masters), division (see above), donation amount (if any), and time via this Google form. Note: if you are in a 2-person craft, please select the age group for which both members of your crew are eligible.
In this time of crisis, many families are food insecure. Please consider racing, making a donation, and soliciting donations from friends on your behalf -- this series of virtual races (so far: Kumu'Nohu, Non-umental, Lack-burn) has generated nearly $5,000 for charity already. Let's see if we can get beyond $7,500 total with the addition of Can't-alina!
Hit hard and stay safe (you participate at your own risk). If you're doing the long course, bring fluids, calories, a pfd, and a phone or gps or both, and leave a float plan with someone on land. I look forward to receiving race information and times over the course of the next three weekends, and to seeing all of you on the water in the hopefully not-too-distant future. See below for added competitive wrinkles.
Cheers, and good-on-ya to those who've been able to continue training thus far this season,
(who may or may not be able to get household labor to construct trophies for Lack-burn now that school has re-started)
"This all sounds simple enough -- isn't there some way we could complicate this to make it more fun and confusing?" --But of course! There are three ways race times will be evaluated:
1. Course time against other competitors in the same distance, division, age, etc.
2. Adjusted time against other competitors in the same distance, division, age, etc.
3. Grand Sweepstakes against all other competitors across all divisions within the same gender affiliation and distance.
1. Course time -- how long it took the competitor to complete the course
2. Adjusted time -- one minute will be subtracted from your time for every $10 you donate or raise for Jose Andres' World Central Kitchen, the Capital Area Food Bank, or a similar charity -- again, this is instead of a race entry fee. Proof of donation not required, just truthfully attest to your fundraising amount when submitting your name, time, and other info when you submit your other registration info to the Google form (see above)
3. Grand Sweepstakes -- adjusted times from all distances, divisions, age classes, etc. will be stacked up against each other using the conversion chart (see below) to produce Grand Sweepstakes Lack-burn first, second, and third place winners
Grand Sweepstakes Time Conversions (this is FYI; please submit your course time only; I will perform the conversion calculations -- conversion calculations are somewhat arbitrary and capricious and may not be completely fair -- not unlike life)
If you are racing...
OC1, standard/marathon C2, sea kayak: no time adjustment made
sprint C1, paddle erg: 0:34 minutes per mile will be added to your time
OC2, sprint kayak, sprint C2, solo surf ski, running: 1:40 per mile added
K2 (sprint or ski), rowing erg: 2:45 per mile added
mountain bike: 5:32 per mile added
road bike, stationary bike: 7:12 per mile added
SUP, rec kayak (Gloria Vestal!): 3:20 per mile will be subtracted from your time
marathon C1: 1:07 per mile subtracted
other: make me an offer