Fwd: quotes from Dominic Barter on conflict, empathy, connection and restorative systems
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Ray
Jul 3, 2010, 4:11:08 PM7/3/10
to NVCUK riseup, nvce...@yahoogroups.com, uk-nvc-family-camp-2009, Europe Africa Circle, Dieudonné Dard
Hi all,
I was asked to share my experience of a restorative systems introduction and facilitator practice. I decided a fun way would be to share quotable quotes.
I am still on the training so I can respond to questions and check with Dominic if something is inspiring or unclear.
Love
Ray
DOMINIC BARTER QUOTES
ON CONFLICT
"Conflict is only dangerous when we try to get away from it."
"Conflict is not a problem that needs solving, but a phenomena that needs understanding."
'"Most conflicts are handled naturally and elegantly in our daily lives, without any formal process or training. It's only the painful conflicts that we tend to name as conflicts."'
ON EMPATHY AND CHANGE
"For me, empathy is the thing which removes blocks to action, not the thing which makes me feel better."
"It is my connections with people which makes things happen."
"Victimhood [is when] the power to affect my well-being [feels as if it] is out of my reach."
ON RESTORATIVE SYSTEMS
"I want to create spaces where a conflict can blossom fully, and we can understand what's going on."
"The exclusion of the community functions as a divide and rule that ensures that the underlying energy is only visible in 2 people in a conflict (or two minority groups, such as drug gangs and police)."
"By bringing in the community, we discover resources we didn't know we had."
ON RESTORATIVE CIRCLES
"In the circle, we take away the threat of punishment, and [do whatever else is needed so that] people feel safe to tell the truth."
"We allow no husbands or wives or policemen or children or adults in the circle, only human beings."
"As facilitator, I can't be impartial, so I'll have to be poly-partial."
"We are here to watch this conflict flower."
"We are trying to discover what are the conditions that we need in order to act in the way that is in harmony with our integrity, and how to manage the consequences."
RAY TAYLOR QUOTE
"Old conflicts are like old cheese - they get more and more smelly."
I was asked to share my experience of a restorative systems introduction and facilitator practice. I decided a fun way would be to share quotable quotes.
I am still on the training so I can respond to questions and check with Dominic if something is inspiring or unclear.
Love
Ray
DOMINIC BARTER QUOTES
ON CONFLICT
"Conflict is only dangerous when we try to get away from it."
"Conflict is not a problem that needs solving, but a phenomena that needs understanding."
'"Most conflicts are handled naturally and elegantly in our daily lives, without any formal process or training. It's only the painful conflicts that we tend to name as conflicts."'
ON EMPATHY AND CHANGE
"For me, empathy is the thing which removes blocks to action, not the thing which makes me feel better."
"It is my connections with people which makes things happen."
"Victimhood [is when] the power to affect my well-being [feels as if it] is out of my reach."
ON RESTORATIVE SYSTEMS
"I want to create spaces where a conflict can blossom fully, and we can understand what's going on."
"The exclusion of the community functions as a divide and rule that ensures that the underlying energy is only visible in 2 people in a conflict (or two minority groups, such as drug gangs and police)."
"By bringing in the community, we discover resources we didn't know we had."
ON RESTORATIVE CIRCLES
"In the circle, we take away the threat of punishment, and [do whatever else is needed so that] people feel safe to tell the truth."
"We allow no husbands or wives or policemen or children or adults in the circle, only human beings."
"As facilitator, I can't be impartial, so I'll have to be poly-partial."
"We are here to watch this conflict flower."
"We are trying to discover what are the conditions that we need in order to act in the way that is in harmony with our integrity, and how to manage the consequences."
RAY TAYLOR QUOTE
"Old conflicts are like old cheese - they get more and more smelly."
"and more flavourful", says Dom
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